


First

by im_just_a_sucker_for_bromance



Category: CNCO (Band)
Genre: Adult Content, Alternate Universe, Angst, Best Friends, Boyfriends, Boys Kissing, Bromance, Chriserick, Confusion, Crushes, Denial of Feelings, Drama, Drama & Romance, Emotional Roller Coaster, Explicit Language, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Time, Flirting, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Heartache, Jealousy, Joerick, M/M, Mixed feelings, Out of Character, Romance, Sexual Tension, Some Humor, Teasing, Underage Kissing, Underage Sex, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-23
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-02-06 00:20:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 20
Words: 68,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12805524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/im_just_a_sucker_for_bromance/pseuds/im_just_a_sucker_for_bromance
Summary: When Erick and Joel announced it to the others that they had recently started dating, the reaction they had gotten was not unanimous; a happy face, an ok face and a what-the-fuck face stared back at them. Christopher, who was not so delighted by the news, took it up to him to show Erick that he had made a mistake because, in his eyes, Joel was only using him. As for Erick, he was like that tennis ball that was being bounced back and forth between his super sweet boyfriend and his best friend Chris, not to mention the things Chris was making him feel.Note:Please abstain if underage content offends you.





	1. New Beginning

Erick looked at his hand, popped his pinkie into his mouth and then began biting on the nail. He had been sitting in his room for the past three hours, reflecting on Joel’s words. Actually, it had not even happened that day. It all started four days ago, he was sitting with Joel and they were joking around when Richard had walked in. The two of them instantly went into a fit of laughter because of Richard’s shirt; it was a multi-coloured tie-and-dye shirt with the words ‘Proud Daddy’ written on his chest. Well, it was pretty hilarious because Richard never wore those colours, let alone something that had that imprinted on it. Richard had only showed them the finger before walking away but they continued laughing. Then, out of the blue Joel had said: _‘you know, us two, we could be an item’_. At that time, Erick had not understood what he had meant; actually, he had not really paid attention to those words because he was still too busy thinking about Richard’s shirt.

Then two days ago, Joel had said: _‘there’s something I want to tell you. I think we’d make a good couple. I’m willing to give it a shot if you are’_. That time, it was hard to miss because Joel had made it crystal clear. Of course, Erick had not answered him because that was not something he had expected to hear someday or ever from his bandmates. The other thing was: neither did Joel push him since he had asked him to take his time and think about it. Then, they had been busy and he had not had the opportunity but that day they were free and, sitting on his bed in his hotel room, Erick could not help but go over those words again and again in his head. Joel and him, as a couple? And Joel thought they would be good together? Giving it a good thought, he and Joel did get along well and if they ever were to date, they would not have any difficulty bonding and yes, maybe Joel was right: they would look good together.

“Hey,” Joel said and jump on the mattress behind Erick.

“Oh hi, I didn’t hear you come in.”

“That’s ‘coz you were too busy staring at the floor.” Joel propped himself on an elbow and looked at the spot where Erick’s eyes had been glued to. “I have to have it’s a pretty nice carpet, although not that interesting.”

“Shut up,” the younger boy shoved him back onto his back and Joel let out a laugh. “I was thinking about what you said the other day.” Joel only hummed and Erick took that as a hint that he should go on. “It’s not a bad idea.”

“What isn’t?”

“What you said about me and you. I think we should give it a try and see.”

Joel straightened himself so that he was facing Erick, who had turned around to look at him. “Just so we’re on the same page, you’re talking about us being together, right?”

“Yes, I want to.”

“This is awesome.”

Erick smiled and, leaning closer, he pressed a kiss to Joel’s cheek. “Do you think we have to tell the others?”

“Huh… if we’re dating, they’re definitely going to find out one way or another, so, I guess we can just tell them already.”

“But not right now… I want to…” Erick bit on his lower lip as he tried to find the right words.

“Brace yourself for what’s to come,” Joel completed for him.

“Yeah, I want to embrace this thing,” he moved his hand back and forth several times between them before letting out a little laugh. “You know what’s funny? You always know what I’m gonna say.”

“That’s what friends are for,” Joel smiled. “You know what else friends do? They annoy each other.”

The moment that left his mouth, he attacked Erick’s ribs with his fingers and the younger boy instantly let out a loud cry as he attempted to push his hands away. “Noooo…”

Being the stronger one, Joel easily tackled him and Erick fell into a fit of laughter. He tried numerous times to hold Joel’s hands by the wrist to get away but all of his efforts were in vain and instead, he decided to roll away from where he was lying on his back; honestly, that was not the best decision because they both landed on the floor with a loud thud. Somehow, Erick was still on his back and he wrapped his legs around Joel’s middle and locked his arms around his head before flipping them around. Being on top did give him the upper hand and he finally managed to get the older boy’s hands away; he pinned them to the floor on either sides of Joel’s body and looked down at him. They locked eyes and instinctively, the distance between them was closing as Erick leaned closer and closer. Then a loud cough was heard and they quickly pulled away.

“Zabdi, when did you get back?” Erick asked when he got to his feet.

Zabdiel looked up from where he was rummaging through his suitcase, by the window, before turning his attention back to it. “A few minutes ago but you two were too busy wrestling on the floor to notice.”

Erick only nodded and excused himself to the bathroom. He leaned on the sink and looked at his reflection; his hair was a mess and his heart was pounding against his ribcage. He was going to kiss Joel? In fact, he would have kissed Joel if Zabdiel had not coughed and pulled him back to reality. That thought alone scared him; he knew a few minutes earlier he had agreed to be Joel’s boyfriend but he was not ready to kiss him yet. Well, mentally he was not ready because it looked like his body did not seem to mind doing it at all. Erick splashed some water on his face and slapped his cheeks lightly before running his wet fingers through his hair to smoothen it. He was officially freaking out. Firstly, he had not planned on kissing Joel anytime soon; Joel was looking at him and licking his lips and Erick did not know what had gotten into him when he was leaning forward. And secondly, Zabdiel could have caught them in an embarrassing position; how caught up was he that he had not heard Zabdiel enter the room?

“How long are you gonna keep staring at yourself in the mirror?” Zabdiel, who was leaning against the doorframe, asked.

“What?”

“I know you love yourself but this much is too much.”

“Shut up.”

“Were you kissing Joel?”

“What? That’s ridiculous. Why would I kiss Joel?”

“I don’t know… it just looked like you were going to kiss him.”

“Haha, what a funny thing to say.”

“Liar. I don’t know if you know but your ears always turn red when you lie.”

“Shut up!” Whining, Erick opened the tap, filled his palms and turned to the other boy.

“Please consider what you’re doing. I wouldn’t try that if I were you.”

“I have considered,” the younger boy grinned and threw the water on Zabdiel’s face but it landed mostly on his shirt.

“You little jerk, I was ready to go out sight-seeing Joel.”

Erick kept laughing. “Your problem.”

“Where are you going? You’re all dressed.”

“Lunch with Richard and Chris. Why?”

Without saying anything else, Zabdiel lifted him off his feet, carried him to the shower cubicle and opened the faucet after setting him down.

“What? This is very, very mature.”

“You asked for it,” Zabdiel shrugged and walked away.

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t,” Zabdiel called back before closing the door.

**Three weeks later**

“Hey,” Zabdiel said with his mouth full as he walked to the back of the bus and dropped himself next to Richard, who was watching TV. Christopher was on Richard’s other side and was busy on his phone, probably on Instagram, posting stories again.

“You only got pizza for yourself?” Richard glanced at Zabdiel’s plate and asked.

“Hey, get your own,” he slapped Richard’s prying hand away.

“Come on man, sharing is caring and caring is sharing.”

Christopher shook his head and laughed when the two of them started fighting over the plate, each one trying to pull it in their direction. Being smarter, Zabdiel took the slice and let go of the plate, laughing when Richard mumbled something when the plate almost hit him in the face. However, he was not having any of that because when Zabdiel brought the pizza to his mouth, Richard went in to bite the other end.

“Wait, wait, wait. I want in. I need a photo.” Christopher bit on the other point of the triangle as he tried to position his phone them get them all in.

“Wow, that’s not something you see every day,” Joel commented as he looked at them.

“There you are. Where have you been? You told me to come here because you have to talk to us and now, see, I’ve lost my pizza.”

“Hmm… I was talking to Erick. We have something to tell you.” He looked at the boy, who was behind him.

“You tell them.”

“I thought we agreed to do it together,” Joel raised an eyebrow.

“Yes, but you’re older and you might explain things better than me.” At that point, the other three were looking at them with confused expressions.

“Guys, what’s going on?” Richard questioned.

“Hmm… the thing is… we huh…”

Erick shook his head. “Me and Joel, we are dating.”

Three pairs of eyes stared at them and Joel did not really know what to make of that. “If you guys have a problem with it, we’ll end everything. We just wanted to tell you so that we can avoid awkward or embarrassing situations in the future. But like I said, if you guys are not ok…”

“Of course we’re ok,” Zabdiel smiled. “Aren’t we?” he looked at Richard.

“Wow, oh my god, I wasn’t expecting that. This is…”

“Well, I kinda knew, when I walked in on you two kissing on the floor the other day. No wonder you didn’t hear me.”

“We weren’t kissing, I told you that already,” Erick protested. “We were play fighting.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know all,” Zabdiel laughed.

“But I have to say something,” Richard interrupted. “If you two want to be like together, can you keep all the kissing and other stuffs limited to your room? No offense but we don’t need a show. I mean, personally, I don’t. I don’t know about these two.”

“It doesn’t bother me,” Zabdiel shrugged.

“Chris?” Joel frowned at Christopher, who stayed frozen on the spot.

“I think I need a moment.”

“Chris,” Erick tried to grab his hand to halt him but Christopher ignored him and walked away.

 


	2. Hit Me Like A Hurricane

All Christopher knew was that he had walked to the front of the bus, with Erick’s voice faint in the background. He could not have been more grateful that they had stopped at a gas station and, stepping outside, he walked away from the bus and sat on the side of the road. Those two phrases _‘me and Joel, we’re dating’_ and _‘when I walked in on you two kissing on the floor’_ were replaying continuously in his head and slowly, those series of words were turning into a distorted sound. Running his fingers through his hair, he took a few deep breaths. Was he under the impression that he was the one closest to Erick? Yes. Was he under the impression that there were no secrets between them? Yes. Was he under the impression that if ever there were something important to tell everyone, Erick would have told him first? Yes. It seemed like he had been wrong all along because he meant the same to Erick as Zabdiel and Richard did since it was apparent that Joel was more important.

Why and how did he not see that coming? From what he understood, it had been a while since Erick and Joel got together. Then, how come had he not noticed things? Because if they were a couple, there should have been some kind of attraction or chemistry between them and in which case, if not him, someone should have noticed. Well, Zabdiel did mention something about knowing, why did he not say anything either?

“Chris?”

Christopher instantly tensed when he felt a hand on his shoulder and he did not need to turn around to know it was Erick. “I don’t wish to talk to you or anyone else.”

“Why? What’s wrong?” he asked after sitting next to the other boy.

“I just want to be left alone. What don’t you understand in that?”

Erick sighed. “Is it because of what I said?”

Christopher closed his eyes and took a deep breath; he knew Erick, he knew how stubborn the boy could be and he also knew he would not stop bugging him until he got the answers that he wanted. Moreover, he knew himself and the worst part was that he could never stay mad or ignore his bandmates for long because eventually, not talking to them would annoy him. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“Is it a problem that I’m dating Joel?”

“Yes.” Christopher finally turned to the side to look at Erick’s dejected face.

“What?”

“You know what the biggest problem is? I thought we were tight and there will never be a thing that you’ll ever hide from me, just like I’d tell you everything. But guess what? I was wrong. Why? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Erick bit his lips as he tried to find the right words. “I’m sorry. I really am. I was going to tell you but everything happened so fast.”

 _‘Fast?’_ Christopher raised an eyebrow at that; how could it have happened fast? In his eyes, for two people to get together on a _‘dating’_ level, it needed time and affection and physical attraction? Or was he wrong about that too? “Fast? I mean, don’t you two like each other?”

“Well… he asked me and I thought…”

“So if someone else had asked you you’d have said yes as well?”

“No… I mean…”

“What if I had asked you, would you have said yes?”

“Shut up! I know you wouldn’t have asked me. You and me, we’re different.”

“How are we different? Joel is your best friend and so am I.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Would you have said yes to me?” Christopher asked again.

“I don’t know,” Erick sighed. “What is all this about?”

That was a good question; what was all that about? Why was he asking Erick that question? And why did it sting when Erick had said he did not know? With Joel it was a yes but with him, Erick was not sure. That did not feel good and his stomach sank lower than it already was. Was that what Erick meant by saying they were different? That Joel was more important than he was? “Why Joel?”

“Me and Joel, we get along really well. We’re almost same age…”

“You’re not. You’re 16 and he’s 18 and that’s not almost same,” Christopher interrupted.

“Yes but we’re the youngest in the band. We understand each other well and we spend a lot of time together, especially when you guys go out at night and we’re left behind.”

Since when was being left behind with somebody a good reason enough to date that person? Where was the damned logic in that? He and Erick understood each other well as well and they did spend a large amount of time with each other, so those were not valid reasons either. “You know, all of that makes no sense to me.”

“Joel is also good looking and we’re kinda the same because there are things that we’ve never done before, so…”

Erick trailed off and he looked at the floor as he lightly bit on the corner of his lower lip but Christopher failed to notice all that and, instead stayed quiet; he could see where that conversation was going. “When did he ask you?”

“Three or four weeks ago. Why?”

That was when something clicked. Suddenly, Chris remembered a conversation that the band had had slightly more than a month ago.

**\---Flashback---**

The five of them were sitting in the back of their tour bus, playing Uno when Richard tossed all of his cards on the table because Zabdiel was making him pick eight cards.

“This game sucks. I don’t even know why you guys like to play it.”

“You’re saying that because you always lose,” Joel laughed.

“Well, it sucks. Whoever invented it stinks,” he added on a grumpy tone.

“Seriously?” Zabdiel turned to look at him. “Everyone loves Uno and all kids must have played it at least once in their lives.”

“Not all, I’ve never played this. In fact, I’ve never even heard of it until recently.”

“That explains why you’re such a stinky loser,” Zabdiel laughed as he playfully hit Richard in the arm.

“And I don’t know why we always waste our time, playing this. I’m sure there are so many more interesting things to do. For example, first kiss.”

“What? First kiss?” Christopher frowned.

“Yeah, talk about it. We’ll see who has the most interesting story to tell. You start, you’re the oldest.”

Christopher cleared his throat. “Huh… I was 14 and the girl, she…” he paused and rubbed at his forehead with his fingers. “She was not really in my class because she was 16 but I thought she was cute and I liked her.” He again stopped when the others ‘oohed’ and taking a deep breath, he continued. “Do you want to hear or not? So, there was that competition at school and I won a prize. I was waiting for my friends when she came to me and kissed me. It was… I don’t know… she was wearing that thing on her lips that tasted like passion fruit and I can’t really say I enjoyed it.” He shivered. “I still feel weird when I think about it. Eek.”

“Is that the reason why you hate passion fruit?” Zabdiel asked.

“Partly… I mean I already didn’t like it but after that I just can’t. I wanted to throw up. All I remember about that kiss is that horrible taste of passion fruit. Your turn,” he looked at Richard.

“Well, mine was not an unpleasant feeling, it was actually pretty nice. Mine was also at school. There was that show that my school always organises a week before Christmas and I was 7 and took part in it. There was this girl that I like who was also part of the show but I never really made a move because I didn’t know if she liked me. It was a nice show and I had a part in the ‘All I want for Christmas’ song and I made sure to look at her while saying that line. Then the show was over and the curtain closed and we were all standing in a line to greet the crowd. She was standing next to me and we were holding hands. I don’t know who made the move but we were kissing and then bam, the curtain had to open again. It was kinda embarrassing but we kissed again when we went backstage.”

“Look at that smile on his face,” Christopher grinned as he poked him in the cheek with his index.

“Like I said, it was a nice feeling.”

“What happened then?”

“Nothing much. The next year her dad got transferred and she left town. Never saw her again. Anyways, Zabdi’s turn.”

“It’s my turn already? I was 13 and the girl… we used to take ballet lessons together. We were really good friends and then one day we went to class early because she was having trouble with some stuffs and I was helping her out. One thing led to another and we ended up kissing. The funny thing about it was that she was taller than me and I had to stand on my tip-toe to kiss her.”

Richard let out a laugh. “Seriously man? You’re like the tallest person I know. When you’re standing in a room, it’s like there’s a pole in the middle. I can’t believe you had to stand on your toes.”

“I wasn’t always tall and I’m not as tall as you’re making it sound.”

“Ballet and romance? I think we have a winner,” Christopher stated.

“Wait! We didn’t hear these two yet,” Richard pointed out. “Joel, your turn.”

“You guys know I’ve never had a girlfriend. So…”

“Who’s taking about girlfriends?” Richard cut him off. “You don’t need a girlfriend to have a first kiss.”

“I’ve never kissed anyone.”

“Seriously?” Christopher stared at him.

“Yep.”

“What about first blowjob?” Richard asked and Joel shook his head. “Sex?”

Joel bit his lips in embarrassment. “No, nothing. I don’t have any stories to tell you guys.”

“What about you?” they all turned to Erick.

“Well, I was only 14 when I joined the band and I didn’t really have time for that before because I was too young.”

“Young? I had mine when I was 7.”

“I call that an act of immaturity.”

“And I call that being cool. First blowjob.”

“Do I have to go first again?”

“Alright, I’ll go first,” Richard shrugged. “A big bunch of us went to the movies and 30 mins through the movie, this girl left and I went after her. She thought it was lame and I pretended not to like it either. So, we were walking and then we kissed, next thing we knew, we were in the car and she was sucking on my…”

“Yeah, we get it,” Joel stopped him.

“Was she your girlfriend?” Erick asked.

“Nah… I didn’t really know her. She was just a friend of a friend. Next person?”

“My turn,” Christopher bit his lip. “We went to dinner at my mom’s friend’s house and somehow, I ended up in her daughter’s bedroom. We were talking and flirting and then we started kissing. I didn’t even realise when she had opened my jeans and all I knew was that they were being pulled down and she was on her knees. We were in the middle of it when there was a knock on the door. We panicked and I hid under the bed. It was my mom who was looking for me to go back home. The girl told her I was in the bathroom and she’ll inform me when I was done. That was it.”

“Do all of your firsts suck?”

Christopher only shrugged and laughed. “Zabdi’s turn.”

“Huh… I think I’ll pass. This is getting embarra…”

**\--- End of Flashback---**

“Chris? Chris?” Erick shook his shoulder. “Say something.”

“Oh my god,” his eyes widened when the realisation hit him; he could see why Joel wanted to date Erick. ‘Dating’ was one word, in other words, he wanted to have his firsts with Erick, which also meant…

“Chris, what is it?”

“He’s using you.”

“What? This is ridiculous. Joel would never do that.”

“You’re too naïve to see that.”

“I just think you’re out of your mind.”

“I know what I’m saying. Trust me. You have to end this.”

Erick got to his feet. “I don’t know what’s going through your head or why you’re saying all this but Joel is not doing anything wrong. You need to understand this.”

Christopher sighed; why could Erick not see what he was seeing? He knew he was not wrong otherwise, why would Joel ask him out after so long? If Joel wanted to date him, why did he not ask him before? Why did he ask him after that conversation? It was simply because it was that episode that had made him think about it. He did not have anything against Joel. In fact, Joel was his best friend too but that whole thing that was going on, that was wrong. If Joel wanted to have his firsts with somebody in the band, he could have asked anyone, why Erick? As for Erick, he could tell Erick did not like Joel, at least not in that way; the boy had only said yes because he was young and dumb and he was mad and he liked to do crazy stuffs.

Erick was his best friend and he did not want to see him getting hurt in the end because of some stupid things. Then something caught his attention; did Erick already have his first kiss with Joel? Erick did say they had been dating for almost a month, did they do other things together? Just thinking about it made Christopher want to throw up. As those thoughts started filling his mind, Chris shuddered; that was when he had made up his mind to make Erick see things from his point of view. He did not know what he was going to do yet but no matter what it would take, he would do it.

“Is everything alright?” Zabdiel asked when he approached him. “Erick just walked back on the bus with a sulky face.”

“You, you better not talk to me.”

“What? What did I do?”

“If you knew, why didn’t you say anything?”

“Oh, you’re mad about that? Well, I know they’re my friends but that’s none of my business. If they wanted us to know, they should be the one telling us. I couldn’t do that for them.”

“Yes but…”

“Come on Chris, I know how protective you feel about Erick but it’s just Joel and you have nothing to worry about. Get up. We’re leaving, unless you wanna stay here of course.”

Christopher got to his feet and dusted his jeans as he followed Zabdiel. Maybe the other boy was right and he had nothing to worry about but still, he could not get rid of that feeling that was building up in the middle of his chest. He did not even look at Erick when he passed him and walked straight to his bunk, quickly getting in and closing the curtain as he knew the younger boy was following him. He was not ready to talk to him again.

 


	3. On A Roll

Not including the afternoon that Erick had told the band that he was dating Joel, it had been three nights and two days since Christopher had spoken to him. He knew the other boy was avoiding him but he did not know why, although he could guess the reason. It was not like Christopher was not feeling well either because he was acting normal with everyone else, did everything he used to do and even interacted with him on stage. The problem was when it was just them; he would do everything, except talking to Erick or Joel and Erick was ninety percent sure it was because of that argument they had about Joel _‘using him’_. He had tried talking to Christopher on a few occasions but Chris had just walked by, completely ignoring him. At the moment, he was sitting in the hotel restaurant with his mom and, for the first time, he was waiting for the others to join him for lunch but all he could think about was what to do about Christopher.

“Hey,” Joel smiled and pulled the chair next to him before taking a seat. “Where are you lost?”

“Hi,” Erick smiled back. “Nothing, I was just…”

“It’s Chris, right?”

“I… he’s… I don’t know. I don’t even know why he’s acting like this. It’s starting to get stupid.”

“Hey, you know him and you know how he is. He’ll be fine, just give him a couple of days.”

“It’s already been a couple of days but he’s still sulking.”

“It’s gonna be alright. Trust me.”

Well, of course Joel would think things would be fine if left on their own because Erick had not told him anything about that conversation with Chris and what the other boy thought about him. “I do trust you.”

“Oh, before I forget, I got these for you,” he reached into the pocket of his jacket and pulled out something.

Erick took the packet from him and instantly grinned. “M&M’s.”

“I knew they’d make you feel better.”

“Thank you. You’re the best. What are you doing later?”

“Going swimming with Zabdiel and maybe Chris. Why?”

“Nothing. I was just asking. Where are the guys? I’m starving.”

“They should be here any min...”

“Yo, s’up?” Richard asked as he walked to the table; he was closely followed by Zabdiel and Christopher, who were looking at something on Zabdiel’s phone.

“What took you so long? Do you know since when I’m waiting for you?” Erick questioned instead and kept his eyes on Christopher; just like he had assumed, the boy sat at the other end of the table.

“It’s not my fault if you came downstairs early.”

Erick only ignored him and opened the menu that he had been handed. Maybe Richard was right and that he had practically dragged his mom into the elevator and to the restaurant but that was only because the ‘Chris’ situation was bugging him. He had woken up at six, had been tossing around in his bed until ten, had refused to eat breakfast when his mom had asked him, had finally gotten up at around eleven, had gotten dressed and went downstairs with his mom because he was too annoyed to stay in his room. So technically it was not his fault, it was all Christopher’s fault.

By the time lunch was over, things were not looking much better. Erick had caught Christopher looking at him but when Joel had leaned in to whisper something into his ear, Christopher had quickly looked away and had kept his attention to his plate until he was done eating. He sighed and crossed his arms over his chest over as he looked outside the window; Richard had texted him and told him to meet him in his room but he was nowhere to be seen yet. He was staring at a faraway building when he felt a pair of arms wrap themselves around his waist and he leaned into the touch.

“Hey,” he smiled.

“Hi,” Christopher whispered and sighed as he placed his chin on the other boy’s shoulder.

“What are you doing here?”

“What do you mean what am I doing here? This is my room.”

“Yeah but Richard texted me and told me he wanted to do a cover for Instagram.”

“Huh… yeah, about that… I texted you from Richard’s phone.” The thing was that hours and days had passed but Chris still did not know what to do to make Erick see things his way. Plus, seeing the rejection on Erick’s face and the sadness in his eyes every time he would walk away from the boy was tough and guilt was slowly starting to eat his insides. He had wanted to approach Erick himself and apologise but he did not know how to get him away from everyone else.

“I’m sorry… for whatever I did to make you mad. I don’t like it when we’re not talking.”

“No, I’m sorry. I was being too pushy.”

“I’ll make it up to you… we’ll spend all day together, just please don’t avoid me again.” He pulled away from the hug and turned around to look at Chris. “And all we will do is everything you want.”

A smile instantly appeared on Christopher’s face; that was already looking easier than he had thought. However, instead of answering, he creased his brows and hummed. “Let me see… I don’t think so. You’ve gotta try harder. How about all day and all night? It’s that or nothing.”

Erick restrained himself from laughing. He could recognise the playful tone in Christopher’s voice and he instantly knew things were fine already. To add a little fun from his side, he played along. “All night? I don’t know… what will I tell my mom? I’ve never spent the night with a boy,” he giggled nervously.

“Well, tell your mommy: _‘Christopher is a nice boy and he’ll make sure to take good care of me’_.”

“Ah, you’re making me blush…” he bit on the nail of his thumb and glanced at the other boy.

“Is that so?” Chris again wrapped his arms around Erick’s waist and, lifting him off his feet, he threw him on his bed. “So, everything I want, huh?” he licked his lips as he climbed next to the boy.

“Mmm hmm,” Erick hummed and ran his fingers through his hair.

“You know that’s a very dangerous thing to say.”

“Of course I can do anything you want. It’s not like you’re going to ask for the moon.”

Christopher cleared his throat. “That’s not what I mean.”

“But I was told ‘Christopher is a nice boy’ and he won’t do anything I don’t want to.”  
“True but… Christopher is also a real charmer…”

“Ah, he’ll need more than charms to get me.”

Chris shifted and loomed over Erick as he supported himself with his arms. He brushed a strand of hair off the boy’s forehead and looked into his eyes while licking his lips. At that point, Erick did not know if it was just him or that action happened in slow motion but he could not take his eyes off Christopher’s lips as the other boy leaned closer. He was breathing faster and it was only when he felt Chris’ breaths against his skin that he turned his head to the side.

Christopher pulled away and laughed. “I got you there, didn’t I?” He smiled and ran his fingers through his hair; he did not know why he was going to do that but he really was going to kiss Erick. Somehow, at that very moment, it had felt like the right thing to do but then Erick had turned away before he could press their lips together, which had led him to laugh it off because he did not want things to get awkward between them, which would in turn lead to more avoiding each other. Why he would want to kiss Erick, he did not know but he would think about it later.

“Not funny, Chris.”

“It is, from where I’m looking at things. You should have seen your face. I was only playing along with whatever game you’re playing.”

“From where I’m looking at things, you started this,” Erick rolled his eyes and turned away.

“Aww, come here baby,” he wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him into a hug.

“What’s going on?” Richard asked when walked in and saw them tangled around each other.

“Where were you?” Christopher asked instead when he noticed the bath robe that Richard was wearing and his wet hair.

“At the pool, where you were supposed to be too. It was your idea to go swimming.”

“Was it?” Chris frowned. Yes, it was his idea and he told Richard so that Richard would tell everyone else and then he could text Erick and ask him to come to his room. That way, he was certain no one would disturb them.

“You missed out on some really funny shit.”

“What funny shit?” Erick sat up and Christopher shifted as well so that he was sitting behind Erick with his chest pressed against the other boy’s back and his legs on either sides of his hips before wrapping his hands around his waist.

“We got out of the pool but there were only two towels. I took one, which left Joel and Zabdiel to fight for the other one. I don’t know how they did it but Joel slipped and since Zabdi was still holding onto the towel that Joel had in his hand, he fell too. It was almost like it happens in movies. Zabdiel fell on top of Joel and they were inches away from kissing each other. They had gotten up as quickly as they had fallen. It was pretty awkward for them and then they were too busy staring at their feet, they didn’t have time to register that I had pushed them, until they were back into the pool.”

“You’re so mean.”

“What? I was having fun. What’s with you two anyways?”

“What’s with us?”

Richard looked at Erick before speaking. “I thought you were dating Joel, and now look at you two. Did you change your mind?”

Erick could not see Christopher’s face but he felt his hands loosen around him and he was not pressed against his back anymore. Seriously, he wanted to kick Richard; did he have to mention him dating Joel? “Hey, I have an idea,” he said to Chris when Richard went into the bathroom. He leaned in closer to him and whispered into his ear.

**Two days later**

Christopher glanced at Erick, who nodded, before looking back at his phone. They were in their dressing room, had done sound-check earlier that afternoon and now Christopher and Erick were sitting on opposite couches, Zabdiel and Richard were in the corridors somewhere and Joel was currently doing a series of high intensity exercises. Christopher glanced at the clock and sighed; Joel had been at it for nineteen minutes and he was starting to get impatient. Finally, Joel grabbed a towel and a bottle of water, waved at them and exited the room. Erick got up and also walked to the door. He poked his head outside before quickly closing it.

“The coast is clear.”

“Ok, hurry up before someone else comes.”

Nodding, Erick pulled a can of shaving foam out of his bag and walked to Richard’s boots. He bent down and squirted a large amount in each of them before grinning widely. “Done.”

“Now what?”

“We run before he catches us.”

“Wait… guard the door.”

“What?” Erick stopped, with his hand on the door knob, and turned to look at Chris. His mouth dropped open when he saw what the other boy was doing. He knew it was his idea to play that prank because of what Richard had said the other day but stuffing Zabdiel’s hat with chocolate or wrapping a slice of pizza in Joel’s bandana was not part of his plan, that was all Chris’ doing. “What are you doing?”

“They should all be treated equally,” Christopher shrugged. “Now we run.”

The moment Erick opened the door, he ended up being face to face with Richard, who was on the other side. “Shit…”

“What the fuck?” Richard frowned when Christopher took Erick’s hand, pushed past him and Zabdiel and dragged Erick with him.

“Hurry, it’s just a matter of seconds before they find out,” Christopher said with a laugh.

“We’re so in trouble. Maybe this was a bad idea.”

“Are you crazy? This is the best thing you came up with in like forever. Get in here,” he said and went through the door, without waiting for Erick.

“The toilets? Great, now they’re gonna find us faster.”

“No, they won’t, trust me. Follow me.” Christopher went into one of the stalls and waited for Erick to get in as well before locking the door. “This is so fun. Admit it. You’re liking it too.”

Erick smiled but it faded as quickly as it had appeared. “Yeah, but there’s still one problem,” he pointed to the gap under the door. “They’ll know we’re in here when they see two pairs of feet.”

“I didn’t think about that.”

“Sit and lift your legs and press them against the door,” Erick instructed.

Christopher frowned at the boy in front of him but took a seat nonetheless. “How would that help?”

Without answering him, Erick dropped himself into his lap and also lifted his legs to rest them against the wall. “That’s better, no feet. And you were right, it is pretty exciting,” he laughed.

“Can you imagine their faces? I’d have loved to be there to see their reactions.”

“Yeah and then right after that, they’d have kicked your ass.”

Christopher only let out a low sound at the back of his throat at that because he had barely register what had come out of Erick’s mouth; he had subconsciously let his eyes fall onto Erick’s lips and everything else around him was fading out as he kept staring at them.

“Chris?”

“Did you do it yet? Kiss Joel?”

Erick instantly turned to look at him. “What? What kind of question is that?”

“Tell me.”

“I don’t want to be having this conversation with you. This is awkward.”

“Shut up. Am I not your best friend? You can tell me.”

“Huh…” Erick took a deep breath. “No, I haven’t… I mean… we were going to the other day but I pulled away.”

“Why?”

Erick groaned; he was already embarrassed enough to have said what he already did but somehow, that was not enough for Chris. He knew his ears had turned red already because he could feel how hot they were and to add to it, the position they were in was not helping. “Seriously?”

“Tell me,” Christopher said, his eyes still on Erick’s lips.

“I don’t know… what if I’m bad at it? What if Joel thinks I’m bad at it?”

That was it; Christopher finally looked away and let out a loud laugh. Out of all the excuses that Erick could have come up with, _‘being bad at it’_ was the one he had picked. “Fuck… this is hilarious…”

“Stop it,” Erick hit him in the chest, feeling even more embarrassed than before.

“That’s the fun part, it’s a first kiss, it’s scary and thrilling at the same time. How would you know you’re bad at it if you’ve never done it? How would you know Joel is bad at it? Unless…”

“Shh, I hear Richard.”

“Unless, you’re both so bad that you’ll think you’re go…”

Erick cut him off by pressing their lips together and they stared into each other’s eyes.

“They’re not gonna get away with this,” Richard said angrily. “These are the only boots that match my outfit.”

“Can’t you wear another pair of shoes?” Zabdiel proposed.

“No,” Richard replied sternly. “They’ve taken it too far this time.”

“It’s just shaving foam, not chocolate or pizza. You could just get rid of it with a blow-dryer. Let’s go, they’re probably hiding elsewhere.”

The moment it was quiet again, Erick pulled away and realised what had just happened; he had kissed Christopher. “Was it bad?”

“What was?”

“The kiss?”

“What kiss? You call that a kiss? I call that a mean to shut me up.”

“You talk too much.” Without warning, Erick grabbed the front of his shirt and again pressed their lips together. Unlike last time, that time, he wrapped his arms around Christopher’s neck and moved his lips against the other boy’s lips. However, when Christopher tightened his arm around his waist and deepened the kiss, Erick pulled away.

“Wow…”

“How was it?”

“I can’t believe you had your first kiss in a toilet,” Christopher said with a laugh, completely ignoring Erick’s question. “Seriously, toilet?”

“Well, at least I didn’t want to puke after my first kiss,” Erick got to his feet and left the stall, clearly annoyed.

 


	4. Follow Your Instinct

Erick sigh as he stepped under the shower stream and ran his fingers through his hair to push them out of his face. He had been thinking about what had happened the previous day; actually, no matter what he did, he could not get it out of his head. He had kissed Christopher. He had had his first kiss with Christopher, out of all people. He had not planned on doing it and had in fact realised they had kissed after it had happened. To be honest, it happened because of Chris. As planned, he had put shaving foam into Richard’s boots and they were supposed to run after that but Christopher was not satisfied and he had to play a prank on Joel and Zabdiel as well; a prank that totally backfired because when they had returned to the dressing room, they had realised that there was ketchup all over the shirts that they were supposed to be wearing for the show that night. Yeah, that was not what was important though. Running away and hiding were the reason why and how they had ended in the tight space of a toilet stall.

Fast forward a couple of minutes, Richard was approaching the toilet and Christopher, well Christopher was: one, being annoying, two, asking embarrassing questions, and three, making fun of him. Erick had done what he had thought was right at that moment and had kissed him to shut him up. He could still remember how Christopher’s lips had felt against his lips and honestly, just the thought alone made his lips tingle with excitement. It was bad, he knew it was bad because he should not be thinking about his best friend’s lips against his, or anything related to his lips for that matter, but he could not help it; irrespective of what he was doing, he always ended up going to that moment, where Chris’ lips were moving against his. There it was, he was doing it again. It was only when he heard the bathroom door close that he was brought back to reality. He turned around and peeked through the glass of the shower stall to see Christopher using the toilet.

“What the hell man? Can’t you wait?”

“I really needed to go and it doesn’t look like you’ll be done soon. It’s not my fault we only have one bathroom,” he pointed out. For the first time, their management had book them all one single suite with five beds and as many pros as it had, it also had its cons.

“Ok.”

Christopher zipped his jeans and straightened his clothes before moving to the sink to wash his hands. He looked at his reflection and then glanced at the blurry figure of the boy, who was in the shower. For days he had been overworking his brain to find a way to show Erick that dating Joel was not the right thing to do and all that while, the solution was right in front of his eyes. According to him, if Erick had his first kiss with him, there was a high chance that the boy would want to do other things with him, which in turn would maybe, hopefully maybe, make Erick see that dating Joel was not what he really wanted. It was simple logic and an easy plan; _‘he’_ was the answer to that dilemma. He had never looked at Erick from that point of view before but he had to admit he really liked kissing him and would not mind doing it again. Wiping his hands, he bit on the corner of his lower lip and leaned against the counter as he looked at Erick and wondered how to go forward with his plan.

Meanwhile, Erick stepped under the jet to rinse the shampoo off his hair, glad that he was alone again because being naked in the same room as Christopher was not something that he wanted or needed; thinking about Christopher’s lips against his was enough, he did not need any more disturbing thoughts. He let out a long sigh of relief when the hot water ran down his back but when he heard the stall door open and close again, he quickly turned around, only to meet with an equally naked Christopher. He had thought the boy had left already since he could no longer hear him but apparently he was wrong.

“Chris, what…”

“Shh…”

Christopher pressed his index to his lips and stepped closer to him. Honestly, he had not planned on being in the shower cubicle with Erick and he had no idea what he was doing or was going to do but while watching the boy through the smoked glass of the stall, something at the back of his head had told him that right then was an excellent opportunity to carry out his plan. That was how he ended up undressing and joining the other boy. He bit on his lower lip and stared back at Erick; their eyes stayed connected as his finger moved to his chin. Erick’s lips were slightly parted and he was breathing faster but he made no move to stop the finger that had reached the middle of his neck. Taking that as a sign to go on, Christopher trailed it down his chest and stomach, until he reached his belly button, where he stopped momentarily, before going an inch further down.

Without saying anything, he flipped Erick around and caressed the back of his neck before pressing his palm flat against his skin and sliding it down to his lower back. Erick let out a tiny gasp as the hand made its way up his back again and he closed his eyes and balled his hands into fists to prevent himself from reacting to that. It was something that he was failing because every time Christopher’s hand would move up and down his spine, his mouth would get drier and the funny feeling in his stomach would intensify. What was Chris doing and what was happening to him? He did not know those but the next thing he knew, he was facing Christopher and the boy had stepped even closer to him. It was only a matter of seconds before Chris cupped his cheek and connected their lips. Erick wasted no time to place his hands on Chris’ hips and kiss him back; why would he not? He had barely forgotten what they felt like and those lips were against his again.

However, Christopher had other plans. He pushed Erick backward, until his back was against the tiled wall and, taking both of the boy’s hands into his, he pinned them above his head. He looked into Erick’s eyes as Erick looked into his and he leaned in to lick Erick’s lips before taking his lower lip between his. The water was hitting against his back and they were pressed together; their chests were touching, so were their stomachs and their… Taking a step backward, Christopher ran a hand through his hair and exited the stall, leaving a panting Erick to look at him with confused eyes. He quick wrapped a towel around his hips and left the bathroom. What was happening? He knew what path he had taken to get Erick to break up with Joel but he did not know that doing the things he had to do would have such an effect on him.

“Fuck!” he punched his mattress and again ran a hand through his hair.

He had to get a grip of himself if he did not want things to fail. He was stronger than that and he knew it; plus, he was not and had never been interested in guys, so technically, he should be able to pull that off without getting personally or emotionally involved. Sitting on the edge of his bed, he fisted his towel and let his mind drift back to a couple of minutes earlier. All he could think about was how he had kept Erick’s hands in place with one hand while his other hand had trailed down the other boy’s arm and side before he had placed it on his lower back, to press their hips together. No, he should not be doing that, he should get out of there and clear his head. That was exactly what he needed: fresh air. He tossed the towel onto the floor and quickly got dress.

“Hey,” Joel said when Christopher almost bumped into him in front of the door. “What are you still doing up here?”

“I… I was…”

“Anyways, we are waiting for you to go outside and greet some fans. Where’s Erick?”

“He’s in the bathroom, taking a shower I think,” he replied nervously.

“Shower? Weren’t you the one in the shower?” Joel pointed out and raised an eyebrow when he noticed Christopher’s damp hair.

“I… huh… I was… he got in… after me. He should be out… hmm soon” he cleared his throat, which seemed to have gotten drier since his voice came out raspier. He was in trouble; he was certain Joel already knew what they had been doing.

“Ok, cool.”

“I’m… gonna see Zabdi and Richard.”

“Ok, I’ll wait for Erick.”

“’lright.” Without waiting for Joel to say anything else, Chris nodded and quickly walked away; if he had stayed any longer, he was sure he would have blurted out something that he should not.

Erick brought a hand up and ran two fingers across his lips; they had done it again. What was with him and Christopher kissing in bathrooms? And what was it with them leaving without talking about it? He was not going to ignore it that time and he was going to talk to Chris, even if that meant confronting him. He knew he was kissing the boy back with as much enthusiasm as he was but he needed to know why Christopher would kiss him. And if he wanted to kiss him, why did he leave in a rush? Closing the faucet, Erick wrapped a towel around his hips and confidently walked back into the room.

“Joel?”

“Hey, why do you sound so surprised?”

“No, not at all. I just thought Chris was still here.”

“Nah, he went downstairs.” Joel patted the mattress next to him. “Come here,” he smiled when Erick joined him. “So, I was thinking… do you want to go out tomorrow, just the two of us? I mean, we haven’t gone anywhere alone since we got together.”

“Like a date?”

“Hmm,” he hummed and bit on his lower lip. “We haven’t done anything couple-like, we could start off by going out.”

Automatically, Erick’s eyes shot straight to the other boy’s lips and he brought a nail between his teeth to keep things subtle. His body was still buzzing from kissing Christopher minutes earlier and seeing Joel’s tongue run over his lips to lick them was not of much help.

“Eri…”

“Shh…” Erick pressed his index to his mouth to prevent him from saying anything else and he found himself mimicking Christopher’s action as he trailed his finger down to Joel’s chin, neck, then chest and stomach, all the while his eyes following the same path.

“What are you doing?”

“There are many things that we didn’t do yet,” he almost whispered. “I guess if we want to do ‘couple’ things, we could start right here, right now…”

“What are you talking about?” Joel held the hand that was again going down his chest and looked at Erick with questioning eyes.

“Kiss me.”

Joel swallowed; Erick wanted him to kiss him? He knew they were dating and were going to get there at some point but he was not ready to do it yet; at least, if Erick had wanted to kiss, he should have told him and then he would have mentally prepared himself. What was he saying? He should have gotten a memo? It was only a kiss, nothing extravagant that needed preparation. Damn, he was making it sound like Erick was asking him to make a big sacrifice. Besides, it was Erick’s first kiss as well, the other was not going to judge him if he made a wrong move. He was all good and he could do it; after all, they had almost kissed a few days ago and it was not so hard. However, before he could do anything, Erick had pressed their lips together. It was a brief kiss, where their lips stayed together for a little longer than a couple of seconds before Erick had pulled back to look at Joel’s face. While their eyes connected and did the talking, his thumb was moving back and forth along Joel’s lower lip.

The second time, they both leaned in at the same time and their lips met in the middle. Joel’s hand moved to cup Erick’s cheek while Erick grabbed the front of Joel’s shirt to pull him closer and their lips moved impatiently against each other. When they again pull away to catch a breath, Erick pushed Joel backward and got on his knees beside him. His body was working on its own accord and he had no idea what he was doing but he kept going anyway. Placing a hand on Joel’s thigh, he looked into the boy’s eyes before trailing it upward to his hips and then his stomach. Next, he reached out to open the buttons of Joel’s shirt and then moved to unzipped his jeans; all those were happening under the apprehensive eyes of Joel but the boy said nothing, not even when Erick had slipped his hand under the elastic of his boxers.

**Twenty-seven minutes later…**

“You’re back?” Joel pulled a t-shirt over his head and asked on an awkward tone when Zabdiel, Richard and Christopher entered the room.

“Yeah, we were waiting for you but you never came. So, we went to say hi to the fans already.”

“I…” he cleared his throat before continuing, “was waiting for Erick. He was in the shower.”

“You’re here already?” It was Erick’s turn to ask as he also pulled on a t-shirt.

“Oh, I ain’t sleeping on that bed,” Richard eyed the bed at the far end of the room; the same one, whose bedsheet was messed up and pillows were scattered.

“What?” Zabdiel frowned and turned to look at him.

“Dude, can’t you see? It’s obvious what they’ve been up to in here.”

“You mean…” Zabdiel’s eye’s widened and Richard nodded while Christopher stayed quiet.

“Why do you think Erick needed another shower?” he added and pointed to the hair that were sticking to Erick’s damp forehead.

“What? I was only brushing my teeth… I rinsed my face afterwards because… I wanted to. And Joel is my boyfriend, we can do whatever we want, not that we did anything, in case you’re wondering or assuming.”

Richard rolled his eyes; he could see past that lie. “Can’t you at least pick up your dirty towel? We don’t want to be walking on your shit.”

“That’s not me. That’s Chris.”

All eyes turned to Christopher and he creased his eyebrows, trying to recall what the conversation was about since he was not really paying attention. “Erick was in the bathroom,” he shrugged and avoided any kind of eye contact with Erick; he knew Erick well and being Erick, he would have questions that Christopher did not have answers to. “And you all know it’s not cool to walk in on your friends when they are in the shower.”

Erick only stared at him; that was unbelievable. “Good to know you’re so well mannered,” he said, almost out of sarcasm.

“Wait!” Zabdiel interrupted when Christopher opened his mouth. He could see where that was going. “We’ve seen this before. Why are you two arguing again?”

“We’re not…” Christopher stated.

“Yeah right. I’m not dumb. I can see that something happened.”

“What do you think has happened? Nothing, it’s just your imagination.”

“Zabdi’s right,” Richard nodded. “You’re acting weird, even when we were downstairs to say hi. And you only act like this when you two weirdos have been up to something.”

“Whatever,” Christopher dropped himself on his bed and pulled out his phone.

Zabdiel and Richard looked at each other and said at the same time, “something definitely happened.”

“Quit it guys,” Erick sighed.

Zabdiel looked at Christopher, at Erick and then at Joel. “I don’t know what it is but something had definitely happened in this room in our absence.”

“Chris had a shower, I had a shower, me and Joel were talking and then you guys came. That’s all that happened.”

“Just talking?” Richard again pointed to the messy bed. “We’re talking too…” he took a pillow and threw it to the floor.

“What are you doing?” Erick frowned when Richard messed the bedsheet.

“Is that how you and Joel talked? Because that’s what your bed looks like.”

“You know what? This conversation makes no sense. I’m going to bed,” Joel shook his head.

“Nuh huh. Get up. You’re taking that bed.” Richard pushed him off the bed and onto the floor.

“What? That’s your bed.”

“I’m not sleeping there. I’m not stupid, I know what happened.”

“Nothing happened but if it’ll make you happy, Joel will sleep there,” Erick smiled when Joel looked at him in disbelief.

“Fine, I don’t mind,” Joel shook his head.

“Now you two, start talking,” Zabdiel looked back and forth between Erick and Christopher.

“Chris, are we fighting?” he jumped onto Chris’ bed and poked him multiple times in the ribs.

“Are we?” Christopher wrapped his arms around his shoulder and bit on his ear.

“Eww…” Erick wiped the saliva off his ear and then rubbed his hand onto Christopher’s shirt. “Gross.”

“But you like that. See, we’re not fighting,” he said to Richard and Zabdiel as he ran his hand down Erick’s back.

“Uh Zabdi, I forgot. I have to show you something,” Richard scratched his chin and waited for an answer.

“Right now?”

“Yeah, come on.”

“Alright,” Zabdiel got up and followed Richard outside. “What is it?”

“Something is happening between Christopher and Erick.”

“I know. Ever since Erick and Joel have started dating, they just keep acting weird and fighting and avoiding each other.”

“That’s not what I mean. Something is happening, something sexual.”

Zabdiel let out a loud laugh at that. “Are you out of your mind? Erick is dating Joel.”

“So? I know something when I see it. Didn’t you see how Erick went rigid for a second when Chris caressed his back before acting as if nothing happened?”

“Caressed his back?” Zabdiel again laughed. “I haven’t seen anything.”

“That’s because you were not paying attention.”

“No, that’s because you’re over-seeing things. It’s just a part of your imagination.”

“But you said it yourself; they’re acting weird and fighting and avoiding each other. It only means that they’ve been having a thing way before Erick got with Joel and now Chris is jealous.”

“Richard, my friend. I think you’re in some desperate need of sleep. Your mind’s playing tricks on you.”

“Fine, with or without your help, I’m gonna find out. I’m gonna keep an eye on them.”


	5. Between Me And You - Part 1

“Are you going to tell me or not?” Christopher glanced sideways at Erick and asked. They had performed earlier that night and were currently in a corridor backstage while waiting for the other three to join them so that they could get to the car and then to the hotel.

“Tell you what?”

“Or are you intending to keep a secret from me again?”

“Chris? Seriously, what am I supposed to tell you but am not?

“That you had sex with Joel?”

Erick bit his lips at the mention of that; that was one of the best thing that had happened to him.

**\---Flashback---**

Erick pushed Joel backward, opened his shirt and jeans, and, looking into his eyes, he slipped a hand under the elastic of his boxers. He lightly grazed Joel’s penis and when the other boy hissed, he almost lost it; Joel was intensely staring back into his eyes and the moment felt surreal. Burying his hand into Erick’s hair, Joel pulled him down for a kiss because the intensity of their stares was too much and it almost felt like the bed would catch fire if he did not break the eye contact. Plus, he had never been in that position before and somehow, kissing Erick made him feel more confident and less shy than watching the boy looking at him while touching him. They eagerly kissed each other and as the clock kept ticking, the temperature between their bodies was rapidly increasing and it made Erick want more. So, he moved to kiss Joel’s neck while at the same time he moved his hand in a circular motion to rub Joel’s penis and balls. He had never given anyone a handjob before and neither had he ever received one and everything he was doing was out of assumption from what he had seen and he could only hope he was doing the right thing.

Erick then trailed his tongue all the way up to the other boy’s earlobe and pulled back a little to look at his face when Joel pushed his hips upwards against his palm; Joel’s eyes were half-closed and he was trying to breathe steadily through his slightly parted lips. Looking back into Erick’s eyes, Joel placed a hand behind his head and guided his mouth back to his; he smiled when Erick complied. However, Erick had other plans; he pulled the other boy’s jeans and boxers out of the way when Joel lifted his hips off the mattress and, moving to straddle Joel’s thighs, he trailed his mouth down his body, leaving kisses on its way, until he reached Joel’s penis, which he took into his mouth without hesitation. Joel sucked in a breath as he watched his erection disappear into Erick’s mouth; he knew they were going to get there someday but he had not thought it would be that soon and honestly, he was not going to complain. He leaned backward and supported himself on his elbows while he watched Erick’s mouth work.

Seeing the boy’s head move up and down in that particular area made him feel so many things that he had never felt before and the only thing that his brain could clearly register was that his heart was pounding. At the same time, Erick loosened his towel and reached out to touch himself because even his body was craving for some attention. He was going crazy inside and his body was getting warmer and warmer but he did not stop what he was doing; what was happening was too good and he knew if he slowed down, he would ruin everything. His hands kept working and they kept staring into each other’s eyes for long minutes, until Erick felt something wet and sticky in his mouth and he rushed to the bathroom. He quickly spat into the sink and lifted his head to look at his reflection; he looked like a mess and…

**\---End of flashback---**

Erick pulled his phone from his pocket and looked at it before rejecting the call. “Why are you calling me? I’m right in front of you.”

“If you’re done daydreaming with that silly grin on your face, I’m still waiting for an answer.”

“I didn’t have sex with Joel. Who told you that?”

“It doesn’t matter who told me.”

“How can you expect me to answer your question when you can’t answer mine?”

Christopher sighed, “alright. I was looking for Zabdiel earlier and I happened to walk in on Joel talking to him.”

“You were eavesdropping on their conversation?” Erick stared at him.

“I wasn’t. I overheard by accident. So, you were going to keep it secret?”

 _Secret?_ Erick frowned. “I don’t have to tell you everything that happens between me and Joel. That’s my personal life,” he said and started walking when he saw Zabdiel exit the dressing room.

Christopher followed him. “Fair enough,” he nodded before adding, “well, I guess Zabdiel means more to Joel than I mean to you.”

“Fuck!” Erick stopped, turned around and looked at him. “You’re impossibly a…”

“Adorable?” he interrupted. “Thank you.”

Erick only shook his head and started walking again. “I don’t know what to do with you.”

“I, for one, can think of a few things,” Christopher smiled cheekily and wriggled his eyebrows. He stepped closer to Erick and tilted his head to one side as he arched his neck to kiss him but Erick turned away and pushed him backward when two guys from their crew walked by them.

“I’m just going to ignore you.” He bit on his lower lip and looked at the retreating figures of the men, who had stopped to talk to Zabdiel; he hoped they had seen nothing.

“Fine…” They took a few steps in silence before Chris spoke again. “I suppose you’re both equal then. You kissed me first and Joel kissed Zabdiel first.”

“What do you mean Joel kissed Zabdiel first?”

“They kissed. He didn’t tell you?”

Of course Joel had not told him, why else would he have such a surprised expression on his face? “How…”

“Remember that story, where Richard told us Joel and Zabdi were fighting for a towel by the pool? And then they slipped and almost kissed? Well, they didn’t almost kiss, they did kiss. And the action didn’t really happen as quick as Richard had mentioned because they only pulled away when Richard cleared his throat. They were too embarrassed about it, they made Richard promise not to say a word to anyone. That’s why he told us a different story.”

“How did you know?”

“Richard told me.”

Erick hummed and paused when they reached the car. So, Joel kissed Zabdiel? Why did he not tell him then? He knew he had also not told the boy about kissing Chris but still, he did feel bad knowing Joel had kept that from him. He entered the van, pulled his earphones on and closed his eyes; he was tired and he did not want to hear anything else from Christopher, who was sitting beside him. As usual, Chris had set his head onto his thighs and Erick only crossed his arms over his chest as he looked out the window. _‘Joel kissed Zabdiel first’_ , Erick could not get those words out of his head. Was it true or did Chris make that up? After all, Christopher did not want him to date Joel, who was definitely not using him, considering how great of a time they had had together when they had gone on an actual first date a couple of days ago. He had to know what the truth was because part of him wanted to trust Joel but another part of him wanted to believe Chris; hence, he decided he would ask Zabdiel when they reached the hotel.

He looked down when Christopher shifted so that he was lying on his side and he resisted patting his head because Chris looked so peaceful and innocent when sleeping and no one would guess he could be as annoying as he was once he opened his mouth. Chris’ mouth, Erick smiled to himself; other than it uttering irritating things, he really did like having those lips pressed against his. Thinking about that, he also recalled he had never really had a chance to ask the boy about those kisses that they had shared in the shower the other day. He again looked down when he felt something soft and warm against his tummy and realise Christopher had slipped a hand under his shirt. Erick did not know whether he wanted to frown at the sudden action or if he wanted to roll his eyes because he should have known that Chris was always up to some mischief lately. He instantly knew it was not an accidental move and Chris was only pretending to be asleep because he could see the other boy’s eyelid move and there was that tiny smile at the corner of his lips.

Quickly but subtly, Erick looked over his shoulder at Richard and Zabdiel, who were in the back seat, but they were both too exhausted to pay attention to anything around them and then he looked at Joel, who was sleeping in the seat in front of him. Even if no one cared what was happening, he concluded it was not cool that Chris wanted to do something in a car full of people and Erick tried to push his hand away but Christopher only slapped his hand away. Christopher trailed his index to Erick’s belly button and lightly circled it. In fact, he was a little unhappy to hear that his plan had backfired and that something had happened between Erick and Joel but right then and there, he had also made up his mind that he would not give up without giving it another shot. Then he had found himself lying down with his head in Erick’s lap and, watching the boy as he looked outside, had made him want to do something. He pushed Erick’s shirt upward and replaced his hand with his lips.

Licking his lips, he left a few kisses there before tentatively licking Erick’s belly, tasting the saltiness of sweat on his skin. Was that a turn off? No, because he repeated the same action and Erick gripped the front of his jacket to keep himself from reacting. Crap! That was really happening, in their van, with their friends in it and he was not doing anything to stop it. Erick glanced down and instantly bit on his lips when his eyes caught sight of Christopher’s tongue lapping at his skin. It turned out to be a big mistake because he subconsciously let go of his jacket and buried his fingers into Chris’ hair. Christopher pulled away and looked at Erick, with a tiny smile playing on his lips. He motioned for Erick to come closer with his index and signalled him to kiss him as he patted his lips with the same finger. He may not have stopped Christopher’s action before but he was still in his senses and he was not going to kiss him; hence, he shook his head negatively, causing Chris to raise an eyebrow.

Christopher leaned in and left a smooch to Erick’s stomach and Erick instantaneously closed his eyes and cursed; somehow, kissing Chris back looked like the better option. Opening his eyes again, he glanced at all the other occupants of the car and let out a sigh of relief because everybody had their earphones on and might definitely not have heard anything, except for the driver, who had glimpsed in the rear-view mirror. Christopher repeated his action and again asked Erick to kiss him, to which the boy again shook his head; that was when Chris shifted and, placing his palm flat onto the front of Erick’s jeans, he started moving the hand back and forth, rubbing Erick’s penis in the process. Erick closed his eyes and breathed steadily through his mouth as he tried to stay calm and willed his body not to react as the hand slipped into his pants. He did not know how long that went on but when he re-opened his eyes, the van had stopped, Chris was no longer there and Richard was leaning close to him and was patting his shoulder.

“Do you plan on stay in here? Because we’ve reached the hotel and we’re going in.”

“Yeah, I’m coming,” he said as he ran his fingers through his hair. Then he realised something was going on in his pants; he had a boner. “Shit!”

“You’re coming or what?” Richard turned around and asked when Erick did not follow him.

Erick quickly pulled his jacket off and, taking a deep breath, he got off the van and made sure to hold the jacket in front of his _‘problem’_ as he followed the others inside and to the elevator, where they were handed their keys. He only hoped the jacket was camouflaging the distortion in his pants because he knew his blue jeans were doing a really bad job hiding it. Glancing at Christopher, he could see the smug smile on the boy’s lips and Erick wanted to let out a loud and frustrated groan but instead, he balled his hands into fists to keep a neutral face.

“Are you alright, man?” Richard asked once they stepped into the elevator. “You look flushed.”

“Yeah, are you alright?” Christopher repeated as he pressed the back of his hand to Erick’s cheek to check his temperature.

“I’m fine,” he replied on an annoyed tone and slapped Chris’ hand away, almost dropping his jacket in the process. “I… I’m just tired,” he added when he saw his mom’s eyes on him.

“Do you want me to come to your room, we could hang out a bit,” Joel leaned closer and whispered.

Joel? In his room? When he had an erection that he was trying to hide? That was probably not the best idea. “No,” Erick replied a little louder than he had anticipated and all eyes were on him. He wanted to smack himself in the face: he could see that Joel had asked out of concern but all he did was give him a rude answer. “I… I mean, I’m just going to sleep. But tomorrow we can spend time together, I promise,” he added when he saw the dejected look on Joel’s face.

The moment the elevator stopped, Erick whispered goodnight and exited it before walking to his room and waiting for his mom to unlock the door. Once inside, he had told his mom he needed a shower to feel better and locked himself in the bathroom. Everyone were definitely thinking he was acting like a weirdo and all that was Christopher’s fault because the boy had left him with no choice. A choice; he did have one. He could have pushed Chris off him and told him to fuck off but he had not and had chosen to let him keep going, leading to the situation he was in. Instead of cursing his inability to make the right decision, Erick closed his eyes and stepped under the shower, letting the warm water run down his back and sighing in relief. However, his moment of relaxation was short-lived because he mumbled something incoherent when he heard the bathroom door open; how did his mom get in if he remembered locking the door? Or maybe he had not…

“Mommmm… it’s embarrassing when you come in here when I’m showering,” he whined as he opened the shower stall door and poked his head outside.

“Hey.”

“Chris? How did you get in?” Christopher ignored his question and proceeded to undress. “What are you doing?”

“I believe I left some things unfinished, the other day and today,” he simply said.

_Shit!_

 


	6. Between Me And You - Part 2

“I believe I left some things unfinished, the other day and today,” he simply said.

“Are you crazy? Mom is right there, next door.”

“She’s not. She already left. Now… where were we?”

Christopher walked to the stall, pushed past Erick to get inside and closed the door again. He grabbed Erick by the wrist and pulled him closer before cupping his cheek and running his thumb across his lips; something was happening to him but he did not know what it was and he simply blamed it on the fact that it was wrong for Erick and Joel to date. When Erick leaned in to press their lips together, Christopher closed his eyes and kissed him back. After all, he had said himself that he was there because he had some unfinished business to complete and kissing Erick seemed like a good way to start things off. When Erick buried a hand into his hair, he placed his other hand on Erick’s lower back and pressed their hips together; yes, he was ready this time and was not going to freak out because their penises were touching. He tightened his arm around Erick’s waist but shortly pulled away and closed the faucet because the water was hitting against the side of his head and going into his ear.

“Hot shower? What you needed was more like a cold shower.”

“What I need right now is something else,” Erick said as he bit on his lower lip.

He again buried his hand into Christopher’s hair and grabbed a fistful of it before directing the boy’s lips back to his. Chris could only smile against his lips before kissing him and wrapping his arms around Erick’s waist. Then he bit on Erick’s lower lip, sucked it between his teeth, and pulled away to at the boy; Erick’s eyes were closed, his face was flushed and a droplet of water was rolling down the side of his face. Leaning in again, Christopher attached his lips to Erick’s skin and sucked in that same droplet of water before kissing along his jawline, to go back to his mouth. Christopher slid his hands lower to Erick’s ass and, taking him by surprise, he lifted him off his feet. Erick tightened his arms around Chris’ neck as the boy walked them out of the stall and set him on the counter, next to the sink. They pulled away again and Erick only stared at Chris; he was feeling excited and scared at the same time, he was feeling hot but yet, he was shivering and the hair on his body were sticking up, and he had no idea what was going to happen next but he was impatient for what Chris would do.

Erick let out a gasp when Christopher curled his fingers around his erection and he gripped the edge of the counter. It was the first time someone was touching him there and he could not really describe the things that were going through him at that moment. His brain was still trying to register that Chris’ hand was moving along his penis when the boy had moved to kiss him again. As for Christopher, his hand and mouth were busy and he kept his eyes open because he did not want to miss out on anything. He had been with other people countless times in the past but never once had he been with another guy or given someone else a handjob and that was all new to him but he was confident he was doing fine, since Erick was squirming on the counter. Also, he had never thought he would be in that position before but somehow since it was Erick, it made things not feel as awkward as it would probably have been if it were someone else. Erick buried his fingers into Chris’ hair and dropped his head onto his shoulder as he panted against Chris’ skin. A couple of minutes later, he bit on Chris’ collarbone and let out a little cry.

Christopher looked at his hand and stomach but did nothing about them; he only place two fingers under Erick’s chin and kissed him. Erick pulled away and looked into Chris’ eyes before hopping off the counter and dropping to his knees; Chris raised an eyebrow at that action but then he realised what Erick was doing and he laced his fingers through Erick’s hair when the boy took his penis into his mouth. Christopher almost lost his balance and he leaned against the wall for support. He looked down at Erick and cursed, immediately closing his eyes; the sight was too much for him to deal with and he was not sure he would have been able to last much longer if he had kept his eyes on Erick. He tightened his grip into Erick’s hair when the boy did something with his tongue and he restrained himself from thrusting his hips. There it was again, Erick found his mouth full and he was again not sure what to do about it. Without much consideration, he only did what he had done the first time and spat into the sink before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“I see you’ve had lots of practice with Joel,” Christopher said once he had caught his breath.

Erick frowned; _practice?_ “What?”

“You were pretty good,” Chris pointed to his penis and added, “that can only mean one thing. Unless… you’ve done it before.”

“Jerk.” Erick reached out to slap Chris in the hip but he had already turned and had started walking towards the stall again and Erick’s hand connected with his ass cheek instead.

“Yeah, you like that,” he laughed.

“Do you always have to be a prick?” Erick also entered the stall and asked as he stood under the shower. “And it only happened once with Joel. Stop making a big deal out of it. The only practice I had is from sucking on popsicles. Pretty much the same.”

Christopher nodded as he also tried to get under the water jet; he had never really thought about a connection between popsicles and blowjobs but yeah, Erick was right, it was pretty much the same.

“Stop taking all the space,” Erick complained when Chris pushed him aside.

“I’m done. It’s all yours.”

Erick followed Christopher out of the stall and was in the middle of also wrapping a towel around his hips when he heard a noise back in the room. “Shit! Mom’s back.”

“No, she’s not.”

“I heard something fall. It means she’s back.”

“I didn’t hear anythi…” Christopher trailed off when another noise was heard.

“You’re gonna get me in trouble.” Erick leaned against the counter and glared at Chris in the mirror.

Christopher walked to him, wrapped his arms around his waist and pressed a kiss to the side of his neck. “Maybe she came to get something and she’ll leave again?”

“What will she think if she finds you and me here, together?”

“That we like to do weird stuffs? Everyone thinks that.”

“Weird? We’re naked in the bathroom, together, I wouldn’t call that weird. I’d say it’s inappropriate, especially since she knows I’m dating Joel.”

“You told her?”

“I didn’t want to tell her yet but she walked in on us kissing. I had to tell her.”

“I guess Richard was right when he said you two should keep things within the privacy of your rooms.”

“I was in my room,” Erick stated. He pushed Chris away and turned around to look at him but the boy again moved closer and placed his hands on the counter, on either sides of Erick’s hips, trapping him there. Erick almost rolled his eyes; Christopher definitely did not know what personal space was. “Seriously?”

“What? Is the closeness bothering you? It’s never been problem before. Is it because you’re dating Joel?”

Erick sighed, “no, it’s not because of Joel. Stop thinking he’s the reason for a lot of things because he’s not.”

“Then, what is it?”

“It’s just…” he trailed off and looked at their bodies that were only covered with towels.

“Erick, how is this a problem when you just had my dick in your mouth?”

The moment that left Christopher’s mouth, Erick closed his eyes and, curling his fingers into the towel, he mumbled something incoherent to himself. Why did Christopher always had to go and say something and ruin a perfect moment?

“Hey,” Chris placed two fingers under Erick’s chin and urged him to look at him. “If it makes you uncomfortable, I won’t say it again,” he said quietly and Erick smiled, making him smile as well. That was how easy his relationship with Erick was; they understood each other without saying anything and they were willing to do anything for the other’s happiness. Well, almost anything because Erick was still dating Joel even if Chris did not approve of it.

**Meanwhile…**

Richard knocked on the door in front of him and the moment Zabdiel opened it, he pushed past him and entered the room. “I’m telling you, something is going on between Chris and Erick.”

“Not with that again,” Zabdiel sighed.

“Come on, can’t you see how they act with each other? It’s obvious.”

Zabdiel glanced in the direction of the bathroom and then looked back at Richard, while pressing his index to his lips. “Not so loud. Joel’s in the bathroom. He’ll feel bad if he hears you. And, and there’s nothing between them. Stop saying that.”

“Well, I have proof this time.”

That caused Zabdiel to raise an eyebrow; proof? What kind of proof and why was Richard so confident about it? “Really? How did you…”

“Christopher is missing and I’m willing to bet anything he’s with Erick.”

“And you call that proof? You know nothing about that being true. You’re only assuming they’re together. And even if they were, it doesn’t prove anything.”

“Not even if you walk in on them being in the middle of doing it?”

“Yeah but the probability of that happening is same as going to the moon by car.”

“Nice try but you’re not gonna convince me. You can’t blame me for being the only one seeing the truth.”

“Richard, I’m again telling you, nothing as what you’re thinking is happening between…” Zabdiel paused when Joel coughed in the bathroom. “This isn’t the right place for this conversation. Follow me.” He stepped in the hallway and waited for Richard to join him before closing the door. “Like I was saying, you’re going crazy and imagining things.”

“Well, Erick was flushed when he came out of the car earlier. Tell me you didn’t see it too.”

“I did but…” he stopped for a moment to figure out what to say next but Richard started talking again.

“How do you explain that? Tell me. Christopher was sitting next to him and when he came out of the car, he was all flustered. Oh shit… they did something in the car,” Richard’s eyes widened when that hit him.

“Fuck! Nothing happened between them in the car or anywhere else. Erick said he was tired and wanted to sleep. Why don’t you get that through your thick skull?”

“I’m not wrong, I know I’m not. And to prove it, let’s go find them.”

“Now? Are you serious?”

“Do I look like I’m kidding?” Richard looked at Zabdiel before grabbing his arm and dragging him in the direction of Erick’s room. He knocked and smiled when Erick’s mom opened the door. “Hey Daysi, is Erick here?”

“He’s in the bathroom but he should come out soon because he’s been in there for a while. Do you want me to call him?”

“Oh. No, no, that won’t be necessary,” Zabdiel smiled. “We just came to see if he was ok. He did not good earlier.”

“Yeah, yeah…” Richard added. “You didn’t happen to see Christopher by any chance, did you? I’ve been looking for him.”

“Chris? I saw him some minutes ago; he came to look for his headphones.”

“Did he…”

“We’ll go now,” Zabdiel interrupted. “Come on,” he pulled on Richard’s arm.

“Ok, good night boys, don’t wander in the corridors until too late.”

“Good night to you too.”

“Stop dragging me around,” Richard stopped and pulled his hand free.

“What did you think you were doing?”

“Trying to find out where Christopher was.”

“I think you’re going crazy. The other day I thought you were too tired and that was why you were saying these things but I was wrong. You’re only in desperate need of entertainment and attention.”

“I don’t care what you’re saying. And now, I’m even more certain something is going on between them.”

Zabdiel groaned. “And how’s that?”

“You heard what Erick’s mom said. Chris went to look for his headphones there. His headphones were on his bed, in the room that I happen to share with him. I saw them when I was exiting the room. So, we can conclude that was not the reason he went to Erick’s room.”

“Yeah? And what ridiculous reason do you think he went there for?”

“Well, Erick, obviously,” Richard snorted. “I know for damn sure he was in the bathroom with him.”

Zabdiel let out a loud sarcastic laugh at that. “When Erick’s mom is right next door? You really need to stop man. This is getting absurd. When are you gonna realise what you’re saying is bullshit.”

“Bullshit? It’s not my fault that you’re too blind to see things for what they are.”

“And what exactly are the things that I’m supposedly not seeing?”

“Firstly, like I said, they have been acting weird since Erick and Joel said they are dating.”

“Chris and Erick have always acted weird,” Zabdiel stated.

“Yeah but not the weirdo kind of weird but weird as in awkward with each other. Then we all know about the argument where they haven’t spoken a word to each other for days, which was odd since they always like to spend most of their times together.”

“That’s normal because Erick has a boyfriend, who needs his time,” Zabdiel said even though he knew he was wrong and he could sense the tension between them, everyone could.

Ignoring the other boy, Richard continued, “then all of a sudden they were talking again, as if nothing had happened, which was good and I’m not complaining. It’s after that that shit gets weirder. I’ve noticed how they’re always on the edge around each other or how Christopher would cringe at the mention of Erick and Joel being together. Fast forward to tonight, everyone saw how flushed Erick was when he got out of the car. Did I mention Chris was sitting beside him in the car? That’s the reason why I’m saying Chris is with Erick right now.”

“Wow,” Zabdiel took a deep breath. “I think you hit your head really hard. This sound really good if it was in a movie or a book but in real life, nah…You know what? What you need is to go to your room and have a real nice and long and hot bath, to clear your mind. Or even better. You need a vacation, away from everything and everyone.”

“Fuck you,” Richard snapped. “How can you still not believe me? I was wasting my time, thinking you’d agree with me.”

“Hey, is everything alright?”

They both turn to look at Christopher, who was looking at them with worried eyes. “When did you come?” they both asked at the same time.

“When Zabdiel said you needed a vacation and you looked like you’re arguing.”

“Where were you?”

“I… umm… I went to the pool, for a swim,” he smiled.

“And you came upstairs like this?” Richard raised an eyebrow; Christopher only had a towel wrapped around his hips and he was clutching his clothes in a bundle in one arm and his shoes in the other.

“Yeah, it’s almost midnight. Who’s gonna care I’m walking around in a towel? I’m tired and I’m going to bed. And don’t argue again, make peace. See you,” he waved as he walked away.

Christopher took a seat on the edge of his bed, dropped his clothes by his feet and pressed his palms to his face; he had not expected his night to be so eventful. First he got intimate with Erick and then got stuck in the bathroom with him. After long minutes of trying to come up with a plan to get out of there, Erick said he would distract his mom while Chris left without being seen. That was how the boy had made his mom look for his shirt in his suitcase and Christopher had snuck out. Step one was done and step two was to get back to his room but he had not anticipated to meet Richard or Zabdiel in the corridor. Again, he was lucky and had narrowly escaped their questioning eyes; plus, he was more than glad that none of them had realised he had come from the direction that was opposite the elevator. There he was, in his room, sitting on his bed, with new worries that were building up in his head. He had acted casual when he had met Zabdiel and Richard but deep down, he knew he was freaking out, especially after hearing their conversation.

Yeah, he had told Richard he had only heard the part of their conversation, where Zabdiel was saying Richard needed a vacation but that was far from the truth. Actually, when he had approached them, he had heard Richard telling Zabdiel that he was _‘too blind to see things for what they are’_ , along with the rest of the talk. Christopher knew things had been like a rollercoaster between him and Erick but hearing everything from someone else made him feel self-conscious. He had no idea that matters were so obvious and from what he understood, Richard was suspicious. Sighing, Chris dropped himself backward on the mattress; only when things had started getting better and he could finally say _‘yes, it would not be long before Erick realised that dating Joel was the stupidest thing he had done’_ , something else was coming in his way. No, he was not going to give up, not after what happened a few minutes earlier with Erick, not after he knew Erick wanted him and not after he knew Erick would not think twice before letting things happen between them. All he had to do was to be more… _subtle?_

 

 


	7. Sweet And Sour

“Ready to lose?” Christopher smiled as he rubbed his palms together before taking his controller.

“Maybe this time I’ll actually beat you,” Joel replied and also grabbed a controller; he had said that but he knew Christopher had never lost against anyone at FIFA.

“Ok, there’s no harm in hoping but I’m telling you, don’t be too hard on yourself when I win.”

“You know what? I’m really glad that you’re talking to me again. I mean, it was really odd and hard to have a friend always around you but he always avoids you.”

“I wasn’t avoiding you,” Chris let out a little laugh although he knew that was what he was doing. Then after kissing Erick in the toilet stall, he had realised he was wrong, not talking to Joel was not going to solve anything and his main concern should be Erick and making him see things from his point of view. “I was only tired and needed some alone time.”

“Ok,” Joel nodded and did not press the matter. Despite what Chris was saying, he was not dumb and he knew he and Erick were the only two people that the boy had not been talking to.

They played in silence for a couple more minutes until Christopher smiled as he again scored. “Told you so.”

“Just because you’re leading right now, doesn’t mean you’ll win the game.”

“You’ll see, it’s just a matter of time.”

“You’re not invincible,” Joel stated.

Chris shrugged before biting on his lower lip. “There’s something I was wondering about… you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to because I’m just asking out of curiosity,” Christopher paused before glancing at Joel and continuing, “how did you and Erick… I mean how did you realise you like him and wanted to date him?” again, he glanced sideways at the other boy, who did not seem to be taken aback by the sudden question. He had heard Erick’s stupid reasoning about why he was dating Joel and he wanted to hear Joel’s side of the story; it had been bugging him for a while actually.

“As you know, we’re both pretty much clueless when it comes to relationship,” Joel let out a little embarrassed laughed. “Erick is a nice guy and as mischievous and carefree as he may seem sometimes, at times, when I look at him, all I see is an innocent and vulnerable guy. And those are the times where I just want to hug him and protect him. I didn’t take this decision because I suddenly wanted a ‘somebody’. I thought about it a lot actually before finally building up the courage to ask him and trust me, as casual as it may have sounded at that time, it was one of the hardest thing I’ve ever done,” he finished and looked at Chris, hoping it was an answer that he wanted to hear because it was no secret for Joel either that at first, Christopher did not approve of their relationship.

“Hmm…” Christopher nodded.

 _Innocent? Vulnerable?_ Were they talking about the same Erick because the one Chris knew was far from being those; the boy he knew was wild and liked adventures and neither had Erick ever looked like he needed protection. And Joel had thought about the whole thing through? Well, at least for Joel it was something else, unlike what it was for Erick. Christopher stared at his foot; it was starting to look like he had been seeing things from the wrong angle since the beginning. Now, it seemed like Joel was the naïve one and it was Erick who was using him to get rid of his loneliness. He let out a sigh; he had been right about those two not being right for each other. At that very moment, the little amount of guilt that he had been feeling vanished and he felt more motivated than before.

“And I win,” Joel shouted, got to his feet and raised his arms in the air. “I can’t believe it, I won, I actually won. I broke your winning streak.”

Christopher looked at screen and scrunched his nose. “You only won because I’m tired. Don’t think anything about it.” He also got to his feet and stretched his arms on his sides. “I’m gonna get something to eat.”

“Wait! I’m hungry too, I’m gonna make a sandwich.”

Christopher yawned and walked to the front of the bus, pulling open Richard’s closed curtain as he walked past his bunk before punching him in the thigh and only snickering when Richard told him to _‘fuck off'_.

“This doesn’t look like the deed of a tired person,” Joel commented from behind him.

“I’m playful by nature and I can’t let tiredness change me from who I am.”

“You’re weird… you’re like the weirdest person I know.”

“Erick is the weirdest person we know,” Chris corrected.

“Why do I hear my name?” Erick asked as he looked away from his phone when the two of them walked into the kitchenette.

“Nothing, Chris was just saying how…”

“Annoying you are,” Christopher interrupted and laughed. “What are you two losers up to anyway?”

“We’re trying to learn a song,” Zabdiel replied as he leaned on the guitar that was in his lap.

“How’s it coming?” Chris asked and took a seat next to Zabdiel and took a popsicle between his lips.

“Nah… Erick keeps messing up the verse.”

“What? I keep messing up the verse?” Erick stared at him in disbelief. “It’s not my fault if you keep saying the wrong words at the wrong time.”

As predicted, Zabdiel did not stay quiet at that and he picked a dirty paper napkin from the table in front of him and tossed it at Erick’s face. Christopher smiled when Erick made a face before retorting by rubbing the same napkin onto Zabdiel’s cheek; he had never realised how cute Erick was when he made those faces. He, himself, made a face at that thought. Why would he suddenly think Erick was cute? He looked up when a napkin landed in his lap and realised Joel had sat next to Erick and was giving him a bite of his sandwich. That was when he remembered his plan. Biting on the side of his lower lip, Chris nudged Erick’s bare foot with his, under the table, and when the boy looked up, he ran his tongue over his popsicle, all the way from the bottom to the tip, which he took between his lips. Erick stared at him with wide eyes but he looked away when Zabdiel slapped him on the side of his head. Christopher groaned inwardly; he almost wanted to kick Zabdiel hard, somewhere where it would hurt, because the moment he had gotten Erick’s attention, Zabdiel had ruined everything.

“Stooppp,” Erick whined as Zabdiel kept hitting him playfully from across the table.

“No… I’m enjoying myself too much to stop.”

“Zabdiii…”

“What’s with the commotion?” Richard walked to them and swatted Christopher at the back of his head, almost making him choke on the popsicle that he was sucking on. “That’s what you get for punching me. Now, scoot. So, why are you two fighting like kids?”

“Zabdi’s being mean to me ’cause…” Erick paused and scratched his cheek as he tried to remember why they were bickering.

“Ha! See who keeps forgetting now,” Zabdiel said loudly.

“Blah blah blah…” he mocked and tossed something else at Zabdiel.

“Quit it, both of you. We’re civilised people, not savages,” Richard said on a stern tone.

Erick poked his tongue at Zabdiel and crossed his arm over his chest while Zabdiel only rolled his eyes at him; he was used to Erick being childish, they all were. Now that it was quiet again, it was a good opportunity for Christopher to get Erick’s attention back. He tossed the popsicle stick on the table and got up to get another popsicle from the fridge before pushing Richard next to Zabdiel and taking the boy’s previously occupied spot.

“This is so good…” he whispered as he closed his eyes and sucked on it. “I could eat this all day.”

Erick glanced at him and then looked out the window while clenching his teeth. “Yeah, we can see how much you’re enjoying it.”

“Hey guys, what colour is my tongue if I eat this green one after a red one?” Chris asked as he poked his tongue out.

“Ugly,” Zabdiel replied without even caring to look; he was still mad at Erick and he was even more mad at Richard for bossing everyone around. Glancing at everyone, he kicked Erick hard under the table.

Erick creased his eyebrow and reached out to rub at the spot; he was about to tell Chris to _‘quit it’_ when he realised it could not have been him who had kicked him, since he was too far. Then, he noticed the tiny smile at the corner of Zabdiel’s mouth and he instantly knew who the culprit was. He was about to hit Zabdiel back when Chris let out a loud moan and then a sigh. Erick looked at him from the corner of his eyes; Christopher was sucking the popsicle in and out of his mouth, licking it and letting his tongue do all kind of things to it. To be honest, Erick had never seen anyone eat a popsicle in such an inappropriate way before and Christopher being the one who was doing it, did not make things better. He knew what he had told Chris about popsicles and blowjobs and he also knew that was the reason why Chris was doing whatever he was doing. Yeah, he was definitely regretting he had said that.

Christopher peeked at Erick; he knew the boy was watching and he intentionally let out another sigh. “I don’t think I’m ever getting enough of this.”

“You’re just an asshole,” Erick stated before getting up and walking away.

And like that, three pairs of eyes turned to Christopher and he looked back at them, each at a time. “What?”

“What did you do this time?” Richard frowned.

“What?” Chris let out a little laugh of surprise. “I didn’t even speak to him all day. This is actually the first time I saw Erick since the morning. You can ask Joel. I’ve been with him since I woke up.”

“I don’t know…” Zabdiel shook his head. “It looked like he said that to you though.”

“I agree,” Richard nodded.

“This is absolutely ridiculous,” he mumbled, faking innocence, although deep down, he was doing a little triumphant dance; _mischief managed_ , he mentally high-fived himself.

“Whatever you did, go and apologise.”

“Seriously?”

Richard glared at him, “yes.”

Sighing, Christopher got up and handed his half-eaten popsicle to Richard. “Hold this, I’ll be right back.” He walked in the same direction that Erick had gone and stopped when he saw the boy fixing his blanket in his bunk. “Erick?” Erick ignored him and kept doing whatever he was doing, without even sparing Chris a look. “Erick,” he again called as he tugged on Erick’s arm. Erick freed his arm and laid his pillow proper before setting the stuffed bunny next to the pillow and patting it on the head. “Fine,” Christopher shrugged and walked away. “Well, I tried but he ignored me. Don’t blame me later.”

“I knew you were at fault,” Zabdiel concluded; he frowned when he got a text from Richard and, looking at the boy, who had moved to sit next to Joel, he opened it.

_You know why they’re fighting…_

Rolling his eyes, Zabdiel went on to kick Richard under the table but he was quicker and had moved his feet away and Zabdiel only ended up kicking Joel.

“Aww… why’d you do that?”

“Sorry… it was an accident,” he mumbled while Richard only snickered behind his hand.

“Where’s my popsicle?”

“Dunno, where’s your popsicle?” Richard looked at Zabdiel, who was trying to hide his smile.

Chris stared at him too. “You ate it?”

“I didn’t. Richard did.”

“What? You’re just gonna put the blame on me?”

“I’m just telling him the truth. He wants to know who ate his popsicle.”

“Enough both of you. Both of your tongues are green. I already know who did it. Stop wasting your time trying to fool me.”

“It was melting,” Richard shrugged and said in defence.

“I’ll go and check on Erick,” Joel said and walked to the bunk area before smiling and wrapping his arms around Erick’s waist from behind.

Erick also smiled. “Hey.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing… you know how Chris is. He’s annoying and he likes to get under everyone’s skin. That’s all.”

“He’s pretty annoyed himself right now because Zabdiel and Richard ate his popsicle.”

Erick turned in the embrace and locked his arm around Joel’s neck. “Did you come here to talk about Chris?”

“No… I came to see you.”

With a tiny smile, Erick leaned in and pressed his lips to Joel’s before taking the boy’s lower lip between his teeth and tugging on it playfully. Joel let out a little laugh at that and went on to fully press their lips together. He pulled back shortly and, resting their foreheads against one another, he raised a hand to caress Erick’s cheek. Erick was looking straight at him, his lips were parted and he could feel the boy’s breath on his face; those were the things that gave him a fluttery feeling in his stomach and Joel had recently realised that. With a playful smile, Erick took the hand that was stroking his cheek and held it in place against the edge of his bunk. He then trailed his other hand down Joel’s chest and, taking the hand that was still around his waist, he held it on the boy’s other side. Looking into Joel’s eyes with that same cheeky smile, he ran his knee along the boy’s inner thigh. Joel could feel the heat rushing to his cheeks and ears and he bit down on his lips to muffle a gasp when Erick connected his mouth to the side of his neck.

Christopher yawned as he walked to the bunk area; he was tired and was not really in the mood to listen to Richard and Zabdiel, who had started bickering after they both had decided to do the song that Erick and Zabdiel had been trying to do. He stopped in his track when he saw Joel and Erick kissing and his eyes did not fail to catch Erick’s hand that was under Joel’s tee. So, Joel got the kissing while all he got was a silent treatment? How unfair was that? Every time he did something to get them away from each other, every time he learned something happened between them. Did all of his plans suck?

“What the hell?” he almost shouted when Erick’s hand moved to the elastic of Joel’s sweatpants. “This is not your room. You guys can do your shits in your rooms.”

At the sound of Christopher’s voice, the two boy’s pulled away and Joel looked at his feet, clearly embarrassed, while Erick wiped his mouth with the back of his hand as he looked into Christopher’s eyes, in which he could see disappointment mixed with anger. Erick instantly knew Chris was mad at him and he bit on his lips nervously, unable to decide what to do or say.

“Zabdiel, Richard, get in here, we need to make some rules,” Christopher called.

“What’s going on?” Zabdiel asked as he followed Richard.

“These two had their hands all over each other, what else?”

“Seriously guys?” Richard made a face. “I thought we all agreed that you’ll keep your things within the privacy of your rooms.”

“That’s why we need rules,” Christopher stated.

“Chris is right… so here’s what we’re going to do. You two can’t kiss or get naked if you’re not in your hotel room. Bunks are off limits as well since we all sleep here. And most importantly, you can’t do your dirty stuffs in places that we all use. Do you agree?”

“Or…” Christopher started and they all looked at him. “Or… one of you will have to shift to a different vehicle, with the rest of our crew.”

“Fine,” Erick shook his head and walked away.

**Later that night…**

Erick rolled onto his side and stared at his curtain; it was almost midnight and he could not fall asleep. Rules, he could not believe the others had set rules for him and Joel; after all, they were only kissing and not doing anything wrong. The part that was even more unbelievable was that Chris had said they would have to be separated. Seriously though, when the boy had said _‘or’_ , Erick had thought he was going to ask them to break up or something like that. Erick again turned around and hugged his bunny before letting out a sigh. Everyone else was sleeping already, he could hear each and every distinct snore coming from the bunks, except from Chris’ bunk that was under his and he heard the boy cough again. Why would he not? He had spent all day eating popsicles and annoying the shit out of him; it seemed like Christopher had stocked a dozens of those multi-coloured little buggers. Christopher’s curtain opened and Erick assumed he had gone to the toilet when he heard him walk away.

Erick creased his brows; even though Chris had shamelessly been sucking on those popsicles while he was around, the boy had not really talked to him since he had walked in on him kissing Joel earlier that day. All those pointed to only one reason: Chris was mad at him still. Another cough was heard right outside his curtain and that meant Chris was back. Without really thinking, Erick pulled open his curtain and looked at the boy, who had lifted his head to look at him. Okay, maybe he did think because he felt guilty for ignoring Chris earlier but that was because he was mad at him for eating that popsicle like that, especially after he had said sucking on popsicles was exactly like giving blowjobs.

“I don’t know what I did to make you mad at me but I’m sorry,” Erick whispered.

“On one condition; kiss me,” Chris whispered back.

“What?” Erick frowned at him.

“Kiss me,” he repeated.

Erick looked at the other bunks before shaking his head. He bit on his lower, wondering whether he should kiss Christopher or not. He knew he should not do it but he leaned in anyway and pressed a quick kiss to the other’s lips. Christopher was still looking at Erick and that action had happened so fast that he had barely had the time to register the kiss; it was quicker than lightning. To be honest, he was not sure if it could be called a kiss because Erick’s lips had merely grazed the corner of his lips, almost missing them completely. He pushed Erick backward and climbed into his bunk.

“What are you doing?” Erick again frowned.

“Shh… you’re gonna wake the others up,” Chris replied and grabbed the bunny that Erick was still holding before tossing it near his feet to make more room for them and then closing the curtain.

“I thought the bunks were off limits.”

“For you and Joel. The rule doesn’t say anything about Christopher.”

Erick only shook his head at that; sooner or later, Christopher was going to make them end up in some big trouble. “Aww… you’re crushing me.”

Christopher wrapped an arm around Erick’s waist and pulled him on top of him. “Better?”

“Much. You know we can’t do anything in here?”

“Who said anything about doing something? I only came here to cuddle and sleep.”

 _Cuddle and sleep?_ He had thought Chris wanted something from him. He felt dumb and stupid for saying that. Erick buried his face in the crook of Christopher’s neck to hide his embarrassment and pinched Chris in the ribs for letting out a little laugh. Chris only kept smiling as he wrapped his arms tighter around Erick; the faces that Erick made when he was feeling shy or embarrassed were among his favourite things about Erick because Erick always looked way too adorable when pulling those faces that it was impossible for a smile not to appear on his lips. He let out a sigh and ran his hand up and down Erick’s back. Having Erick on top of him, with their bare chests pressed against each other, felt nice and warm and it made his brain go fuzzy. After long minutes of silence, Erick finally lifted his head and he grazed Christopher’s chin with his teeth to get him out of his thoughts before pressing a kiss at that same exact spot and then another one to his lips.

There was only one word that could describe that moment: _perfection._

 


	8. Sly As A Fox

Erick yawned and rubbed his eye with his index as he dragged his feet and walked to the kitchenette, where Richard and Joel were. “’Morning.”

Richard lifted his eyes from the buttered slice of bread that was on a plate in front of him and looked at Erick. “Hey… why do you have such an absurd drawing on your face?”

“What face? I mean, what drawing?”

“The ones on your cheeks.”

Erick rushed to the bathroom and, looking into the mirror, he realised there were two stick figures in obscene postures on both his cheeks. Scrubbing his cheek, he walked back to the kitchen. “Who did this?”

“Not me because if I did, you know I wouldn’t have told you,” Richard pushed the plate away and went to get himself some cereal. “How can we have a 42” TV and not have a toaster?”

“Guys, it’s not cool. On my face? If you wanted to draw on me, you could have done it on my hands or my arms or something but my face? At least yours is on your back.”

“What’s on my back?” Richard stopped midway pouring milk in his bowl and looked at Erick.

“The drawing on your back? You didn’t know?”

“What drawing?”

“It’s a giant penis, I think,” Erick replied as he looked at the doodle on Richard’s back.

Richard turned to Joel. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Joel shook his head. “I think the best question is: how did I not see it?”

“Wait, I have one, Erick has one. Do you have anything on you?”

“No, I don’t think so, I mean I didn’t see anything,” Joel said but checked his arms anyways.

“Check under your shirt. If I can have one on my back, you can have one there too.”

“Right.” Nodding, Joel pulled his tee off and made a face when he saw some markings on his stomach. “What’s written?”

Richard again took the seat that he had before and eyed Joel’s stomach. “There’s a big arrow pointing downward and ‘suck my popsicle… yum’ is next to it. What the fuck?”

“That means, it must be Chris or Zabdi,” Erick stated. “The handwriting looks like Chris’ but it could be Zabdiel who did it. Let’s not leave that option out.”

“I don’t think Zabdiel would go that far,” Joel shook his head.

“Why do I hear my name?” Zabdiel yawned.

“Do you have anything on you?” Erick asked instead.

“Yeah, I have track pants on. Can’t you see?”

“No, do you have any drawing on you?”

“Why would I have any drawing on me?”

“Because we do and we’re trying to figure out who did it,” Joel said.

Zabdiel looked down at his bare chest and then his arms. “No, I don’t think so. You guys are making this up, aren’t you?” he moved to also get himself some cereal.

“Does this look like a joke?” Erick pointed to his cheeks and then to Richard’s back.

Zabdiel made a face. “This looks bad.”

“What is that?” Richard motioned to the lowest part of Zabdiel’s back, close to the elastic of his pants.

“What?” Without waiting for him to answer, Zabdiel went to the bathroom, to get a better look in the mirror. He cursed when he saw the two mickey-mouse-like hands that were grabbing his ass cheeks. “Seriously? On my ass?”

“What was it?”

“Two hands.”

“Well at least now we all know who did it,” Joel stated.

“Yeah, about that, follow me everyone,” Richard got up and walked to the bunk area before pulling open Christopher’s curtain and kicking him.

“What?” the boy groaned as he opened his eyes and yawned.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I’m only sleeping.”

“Like hell you were only sleeping. Don’t you think you went too far this time?”

Erick leaned against Richard’s bunk and smiled meekly as he watched the other four argue. Honestly, he always found it funny when they start bickering because each one of them would always try to come up with better insults and it was always hilarious to watch, which is why he always preferred to stay quiet and watch rather than get involved. As always, Zabdiel and Joel had already given up and it was only Christopher and Richard, the two big mouths, who were still at it.

“You should get it tattooed. It would be a nice piece on your back,” Christopher smiled cheekily.

“I’d never get something this hideous tattooed on myself but you should do it. It would look good on you.”

“Hmm… actually, you’re right. Now that I’m looking at it proper, it doesn’t look like a masterpiece. My drawing skills suck. I’m really sorry I’ve disappointed you. Next time, I’ll try my best and do better.”

“Next time I find something like this on me, I’m gonna kick you in the balls.”

Christopher opened his mouth to say something but forgot his words when his eyes caught sight of Erick, who had placed an arm around Joel’s shoulders, while Joel had wrapped an arm around Erick’s waist. He licked his lips and swallowed the bitter taste that was rising in his throat before directing his attention back to Richard, who had his arms crossed over his chest and was glaring at him. “Oh my love, you know you’ll never be able to hurt me.”

“You know what? Whatever. I’m done here.” Richard pulled his laptop from his bunk and walked to the back of the bus.

“I’m gonna eat, I’m hungry,” Zabdiel stated before looking at Joel and adding, “are you coming?”

“Yeah,” the boy nodded and stepped away from Erick.

Erick was also going to follow them but Chris held his hand and he stopped after telling the others he would join them in a minute. “What?”

“If you wanted to play a prank, you could have let me in. We would have blamed Richard or something.”

“What are you talking about?” Erick frowned.

“Don’t try to act innocent. You may have fooled the others but you can’t fool me.” Chris pushed Erick backward and held him against Richard’s bunk. “What’s this? Red marker?” he held Erick’s hand between them and pointed to his pinkie. “How would you have red marker on your pinkie when Joel’s the only one with a red drawing? Unless… unless you’re the one who did it.”

Erick bit the side of his lower lip and smiled. Okay, maybe Christopher was right and he may have had a hand in that. Actually, what had happened was that Chris had gotten up early to go back to his own bunk to avoid any kind of questionings and he understood that because even he would not be able to find the right excuse to explain why Chris was in his bunk. Of course, when the boy had left, Erick had woken up because his bunk had felt less warm and Chris’ arms around him had felt so nice all night that he had missed them, the moment they were gone and the worst part of it was that he could not really complain about it. So, he was lying in his bunk, trying to fall back asleep but he could not; even Chris was sleeping again because he could hear the light snores coming from the bunk under his.

After almost an hour of tossing and turning, he had finally gotten up, had found some markers and had put his plan into action; drawing on Zabdiel and Joel were a piece of cake because those two always slept like rocks but Richard was the hardest and he had even thought he was going to fail after Richard had flinched three time but in the end, he had managed to do it and he was proud of himself. Then it reached his turn because if he wanted to make it look like it was not him, he had to play the victim too; although he had to admit, as easy as the drawing on his cheeks looked, it was the toughest to make because he was leaning against the sink and looking at his reflection while doing it.

“Don’t blame me,” Erick said on a serious tone but ended up laughing.

“I knew it.” Chris stepped closer to him and blew a hot stream of air onto his lips.

Erick instantly sucked in a breath and the hair at the back of his neck stood up straight; the closeness and the fact that Chris was only in his boxers, they were all too much to deal with. He looked in the direction of the kitchen and then back at Chris. “Let me go.”

Without protest or hesitation, Christopher released his hands and stepped away from him. “This time I saved your ass, next time I won’t.”

Like that, without saying anything else, he climbed back into his bunk and closed the curtain, leaving Erick to stare at it. He could hear the boy walk away and he closed his eyes before cursing. The only reason he had gone back into his bunk was Erick. He was there, merely inches away from the boy but Erick had told him to move away after looking in the direction that Joel had gone; that look, it was not just any look because Christopher had seen that there was something behind it. What was he to make of that? That Erick was scared? But scared of what? Scared of getting caught? Scared of not being able to resist? Scared of what might happen? Scared of disappointing Joel? Scared of hurting Joel? But what about him? Where was Christopher in all of that? Did he not mean anything? At all? Not even after everything that had happened between them?

He knew his only aim was to make Erick see why dating Joel was wrong and there was nothing he should be expecting from it but sometimes, he could not help but feel bad when he saw all the attention and affection that Joel was receiving because at times, he really did feel like he was invisible in Erick’s eyes when Joel was around. Okay, maybe he was exaggerating about those facts but still, he was only human and anyone in his place would feel as bad as he did.

**Meanwhile…**

“What are you up to?” Zabdiel asked as he took a seat opposite of Richard.

Richard lifted his eyes from his laptop, checked if the door was closed properly and then turned his attention to Zabdiel. “Tell me you saw it too.”

“Saw what?” Zabdiel stopped his action midway, with his spoon halfway to his mouth as he stared at the boy in front of him.

“The hickey on Chris’ neck?”

“And?”

“You know what it…”

Zabdiel shook his head; he could already see where that was going. “No… don’t even mention Erick’s name.”

“OK, if you’re so smart, why don’t you tell me where if came from? Because it could not have appeared there magically.”

“Huh… Chris went out and met someone?”

“We’ve been on the bus since yesterday afternoon and it was not there before that. It only means the one who gave it to him is on the bus.”

“Ugh…” Zabdiel groaned. “It’s 10 in the morning. Do we really need to have this conversation right now?”

“Yes.”

He let out a sigh. “Ok, so how do you know for sure that one who did it is on the bus and how can you say it’s Erick?”

“I know it’s not me and I know Joel wouldn’t do something like that and I’m sure the rest of the people on the bus would not either. So, that leaves you and Erick.”

“It wasn’t me. Why would I give Chris a hickey? That’s ridiculous.”

“There. You have your answer,” Richard shrugged.

“You know, sometimes, you make no sense at all.”

“I know what I’m…” Richard trailed off when Christopher poked his head inside.

“Am I disturbing?”

“Of course not,” Zabdiel smiled. “We were just talking… casual talks. That’s all.”

“Great, can I have a bite?”

The moment Zabdiel nodded, he took a seat next to Richard and pulled the bowl in front of him. He had not intended to get out of his bunk for another hour or two but the grumble in his stomach was too much to bear and he had dragged his feet to the back of the bus because he had heard Zabdiel munching when he had passed his bunk and he knew there was food there. Yes, he knew the easiest way was to go to the kitchen to get food but that was the problem, he did not want to go there and see something that would make him feel worse than he already was. So, he was in his bunk, blaming Erick for making him feel like shit when he had heard Zabdiel say: _‘I’m going to hang out with Richard and leave you two to yourselves. Enjoy, have a little fun, I won’t tell anyone but keep it PG’_. Then right after, Erick had said _‘thanks Zabdi’_. Those were enough information for him to know there was no need for him to go there.

“So, what were you two talking about?”

“That hickey on your collar bone,” Richard stated and Zabdiel stared at him; seriously, he did not know what to do with Richard anymore.

Christopher tried to look down at the spot but failed and instead ran his fingers over his skin, right where he knew the hickey was. “What about it?”

“We were just wondering who gave it to you.”

“Hmm…”

Chris put another spoonful of cereal into his mouth and nodded. He was in Erick’s bunk and like he had said, his arms were wrapped loosely around Erick, who was on top of him. They were doing nothing else other than whispering to each other and smiling when Christopher had called Erick a _chicken_. Being Erick, he had not taken that lightly and he had shifted to straddle Chris’s waist before frowning at him; it was dark and Christopher could not really see him but Erick knew he knew he was annoyed. Then Chris being Chris, had called him a _scaredy-cat_ before letting out a little chuckle. That was it. Erick had pinned Chris’s hands above his head, on the pillow, and had kissed him to silence him and to prove that he was not scared of anything. It had started with kissing but then Erick had trailed his mouth to Chris’s collar bone, where he had kept kissing, sucking and biting on his skin, resulting in that bruise that was the subject of the conversation. That was the tricky thing; things had happened in such a way that he could not really answer the question that he had been asked, at least not without lying.

“Erick gave it to me,” he simply said.

Richard looked at Zabdiel from across the table and smirked. “Erick?”

“Yeah, Erick?” Zabdiel repeated.

“Yesterday afternoon we were arguing and I called him a ‘chicken’. He got mad and bit me. It’s nothing like you’re thinking,” he finished with a shrug.

“Why?” Richard turned to Chris. “Why is it we’re seeing it for the first time now?”

“Because I was wearing a shirt.”

“Yeah but why would he bite you?”

“Because he’s insane?”

“Yeah but to the point of leaving a mark?”

“He’s mad, you know it.”

“I know but this is a hickey that we’re talking about, not a random bite. And you don’t mind?”

Christopher groaned. “What’s with all the questions?”

“Maybe Richard’s jealous, that’s why,” Zabdiel laughed.

“Yeah?” Chris turned to Richard and smiled cheekily at him.

“What? I don’t like that look.”

“Jealous? You should have said so, my love. I’ll fix this in an instance.” He got up, knelt on the seat, next to the other boy before leaning in close to him.

“What are you doing?”

“Giving you a hickey, of course.”

Richard pressed his hands to Chris’ shoulders and held him away. “Stop it. I don’t want any shit from you.”

“Of course you do, my love. I’d do anything for you,” he smiled and held his ground but Richard was stronger and he pushed him away hard, causing him to land on the floor. “Ow…”

Zabdiel let out another laugh before offering him a helping hand. “You’re crazy.”

“Mean Richard… Zabdiel’s the only one who loves me.”

“Drama queen,” Richard muttered under his breath.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

“Zabdiel would never hurt me like you do, am I right Zabdi?”

“Of course you are.”

Chris smiled, dropped himself onto Zabdiel’s thighs and hugged him. “Oh, you’re the sweetest piece of pie.”

“If you love him so much, why don’t you give him a hickey instead?”

Zabdiel lifted his head to look at Richard, “what?” By the time he realised what the boy had said, Christopher had already attached his mouth to the side of his neck. “Chris, stop.”

“Payback is so sweet,” Richard smiled and shook his head as he watched Chris ignore Zabdiel’s plea.

“I can’t believe you’d do that to me,” he stated and wiped his neck with his palm when Chris pulled away.

“You still love me though,” he mumbled.

“What the heck?” Joel almost exclaimed in surprise when he walked in and saw Chris’ puckered lips and Zabdiel, who was trying to keep him away.

“Why are you in Zabdiel’s lap?” Erick asked next.

“Because Zabdi’s my love,” Chris stated.

“Shut up and get off me. This all happened because of Richard.”

“Hey, I didn’t do anything. Don’t drag me in your lovers’ quarrel.”

Erick looked at Zabdiel and then at Christopher carefully. _Lovers’ quarrel?_ His heartrate suddenly increased and there was that question on the tip of his tongue that he wanted, needed, to know the answer to. “So, are you two…”

“Of course, we are,” Chris smiled.

“Heck no,” Zabdiel made a face and pushed Chris off him.

“Ouch, Zabdiel. You break my heart,” Chris said as he faked a hurt face and sat back onto Zabdiel’s thighs. “Into tiny pieces.”

“Get off me,” he repeated.

“Don’t feel shy, my love. Erick and Joel do worse than this,” he again pursed his lips as he playfully attempted to kiss Zabdiel; he was upset and seeing how much he was annoying Zabdiel, he just kept doing it because he felt like it was funny and entertaining.

“What about the rules?” Erick said loudly and everyone stared at him, including Chris, who had stopped mid-action. “You know what? You can shove your fucking rules you know where,” he added before storming out.

He walked to the complete front of the bus, ignoring Joel’s call, and sat next to the driver before crossing his arms over his chest and staring at the road ahead. What was the point of having rules if they did not apply to everyone? Erick was furious and was only using the ‘rules’ as an excuse to vent his anger, although he knew that was not the real reason for his outburst. Chris and Zabdiel? Why? How could Chris do that to him? Why would he lead him on when it was Zabdiel that he wanted? And that hickey on Zabdiel’s neck? It was mocking him and it was pushing him more over the edge than he already was. And Chris trying to kiss Zabdiel? Was he too blinded by all the attention that he was receiving from Chris that he could not really see what was happening? In a matter of a few minutes, he went from being everything to being nothing to Christopher. Why was he even bothered by all that? He had a boyfriend and he was happy with him; he should not feel affected by what Chris did with other people.

Still, he could not stop that strange feeling in his gut, feeling that was twisting his insides. Erick heard Chris laugh from the kitchen and he closed his eyes and swallowed the lump in his throat. Why? Why did Chris have such an effect on him? He did not know what to think anymore. Again another laugh and Erick let out a frustrated groan as he ran his fingers through his messy hair but he sat up straight again when he noticed the driver looking at him. Taking a deep breath, he decided to focus on the road, he would deal with Christopher later.

 


	9. Unexpected And Unexplainable

“I’m so glad we don’t have to be on the bus anymore,” Richard leaned on the lounge chair and said. He had actually been saying that for the past three days and no one was paying attention to those words anymore. So, their management had decided that they needed more comfort and rest and hence no more tour-bus for the time being and hello to private jet and to their own personal hotel rooms, well except for Erick, who still wanted to share with his mom.

“Yeah, I can see that,” Joel replied without really looking at him. “I mean, look at the smile on your face. I can understand your happiness.”

Richard sat up again, looked at Erick and Zabdiel, who were in the pool, and then at Joel. “No, I don’t think you really understand. I mean, I no longer have to worry about walking in on something that I don’t want to see anymore. It’s not something that you’d understand.”

“I still think you’re taking this too far. It’s not like Erick and I have ever done something on the bus.” Richard raised an eyebrow at him and Joel continued, “the only time we really shared a kiss was the time Chris walked in on us and you guys set the rules.”

“Well, thank god then. Where’s he anyways? Christopher?”

“He went out with his brother and his friend, who came to visit.”

“Yeah, right, I forgot.”

“Why wouldn’t you? All you can think about are private jet and hotel rooms.”

“Correct because it means…”

“You don’t have to worry about walking in on something that you don’t want to see anymore,” Joel completed; Richard had constantly been saying that the past days that everyone knew those words by heart.

“How did you know I was gonna say that?”

“Lucky guess?”

Joel decided to ignore Richard and instead, let his eyes land on Zabdiel, who was doing a backstroke; they had not really been to the pool together since that fated or rather ill-fated day and seeing Zabdiel in the water did bring back flashes of that day. He kept his eyes on him as Zabdiel hoisted himself out of the pool and walked towards him to take the towel that was by his foot before going to lie on the lounge chair on Richard’s other side. Then Joel directed his eyes to the hickey on Zabdiel’s neck; it had been almost a week since Chris had given it to him but it was so prominent that there was still a faint but visible mark that was left. Of course, Zabdiel’s turtlenecks had helped but other times when it was just them, the boy did not even bother to cover it. Joel could still not understand how or why Chris would give Zabdiel a hickey and how or why it did not bother Zabdiel. Did Zabdiel not feel awkward, considering one of his bandmates gave it to him?

That was only half of the story because the other half was that Christopher also had one; was it Zabdiel who had given it to him? Were they really a thing? Because Chris had said so himself. Joel shook his head. No, that could not be because a few minutes after he had said so, Zabdiel had kicked him and told him _‘he could not believe he would say something like that’_ and then Richard was laughing at them. That only pointed to one thing: as always, Chris was messing around. He let out a sigh at that; at times, he wished he was more like the other, carefree and unpredictable, instead of being the shy and quiet one. Personally, he would never have been able to walk around casually if ever he had one on his neck, even if it was Erick who had given it to him. No, that was not him. He would never have allowed Erick to give him a hickey because firstly, hickeys were embarrassing and secondly they attracted too much attention; so, at least not on his neck, if it were in a hidden place, then it would be fine but in a place where everyone could see, that was a big no-no.

“What are you staring at?” Richard asked when Joel cleared his throat.

“Nothing,” he shook his head as he adjusted his sunglass; he was glad Zabdiel had moved to talk to Erick because he was not sure he would be able to explain why he was staring at him, or more precisely at that hickey on his neck. Joel licked his lips and again cleared his throat before dropping himself backward. It was not like he felt anything towards the other boy, other than friendship but it really bugged him to know that Chris left a mark on his neck, considering there was nothing going on between them and all, it only felt wrong. He took a deep breath and got to his feet.

“Where are you going?”

“Back to my room. I’m hmm… I’m tired. I’m gonna take a nap.”

“What did you say to him?” Zabdiel threw his towel at Richard’s face and asked.

Richard turned to him and frowned. “Just because he left, it means I said something to him?”

“Yeah because you always say the most annoying and inappropriate things.”

“Jerk,” Richard tossed the damp towel back at Zabdiel before turning to Erick. “And why are you so quiet?”

“I have a headache,” he replied without opening his eyes.

“Lovers’ quarrel,” Richard mouthed to Zabdiel.

“Joel?”

Richard almost rolled his eyes at that. During all the time Joel and Erick had been together; he had never heard them argue or even disagree on anything. “Christopher.”

“Fuck off,” Zabdiel almost shouted and Erick mumbled something on a whiny tone. “Sorry.”

“I’m not kidding. Unlike you, I notice things,” he shrugged and added, “I told you I’ll keep an eye on them.”

“Richard, you really need to stop. If ever Chris or Erick hears you, they’ll…”

“What are you two whispering about?” Chris dropped himself on Zabdiel’s chair and asked.

Zabdiel looked at the boy, who was behind him. “When did you get here?”

“Yeah, how did you know we were here?”

“I just got back and I saw you through my window. Now my question. Why were you whispering?”

“Erick… Erick has a headache,” Zabdiel replied before Richard could say anything that he should not.

“Headache? I know what he needs,” Chris moved to sit next to Erick. “Erick? Hey Erick?”

“Leave me alone,” he replied as he pushed away the finger that Christopher was poking him with.

“Erick?”

Groaning, the boy got up, walked to the other side of the pool and dropped himself on another lounge chair. The headache was only an excuse, the real reason why he was not speaking to Chris was something completely different. Actually, it had been almost a week since he had really spoken to the boy alone. He knew he was the one being unreasonable and maybe childish but he simply could not forget what he had seen. A week was a long time and he wanted to go and talk to him but every time he saw Chris’ face, he was reminded of that hickey on Zabdiel’s neck. Then he started getting those weird bitter feelings all over again and preferred to quietly let them twist his insides.

“Hey Erick,” Chris again said after sitting next to him.

“What do you want? Can’t you go and annoy someone else?”

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing… leave me alone, Chris.”

“Now I know for sure there’s something wrong. What is it?”

 _‘You, big baboon. What else?’_ Erick wanted to say but he stayed quiet and turned to the other side.

Smiling, Chris poked him in the thigh this time. “Stop being childish.”

“I’m being childish?” Erick again turned to him and glared at him. “I told you to leave me alone, why can’t you?”

“Because I don’t want to.”

“That’s what is called being childish. If you want to annoy someone, why don’t you go and annoy Zabdiel?”

That was when he realised what it was; Erick was still mad about that Zabdiel episode. He had seen Erick’s face that day and he knew it was irritating him to see him in Zabdiel’s lap and that was precisely why he had kept pushing his buttons. “I was only having fun and messing around. Why do you have to get mad?”

 _Yeah, why did he have to get mad?_ Erick took in a deep breath. “Giving someone a hickey is not called messing around,” he quoted Chris’ words.

“You gave me a hickey, weren’t we messing around too?”

There it was, Chris had a point because what else were they doing other than messing around? However, Erick was not going to admit that, not when it would prove that Christopher was right. “But we are close and we always do stupid things together.”

“Zabdi’s close to me too.”

“Ughh… whatever. Leave me alone. I want to be alone.”

“Erick…” Chris took one of Erick’s hand into his; he knew he had said he should play things subtle and at the moment he definitely should, considering Richard was on the other side of the pool and was probably watching them, but making Erick feel better was his priority. “You know you’re my favourite and always will be my favourite, right?”

Erick looked at the thumb that was stroking the back of his hand and then at Chris’ face. Just like that, his anger and bad mood vanished and a tiny smile appeared at the corner of his lips. He wished he was more like a cold-hearted person, who was never affected by anyone, but he was not and as his little heart was melting, his smile grew wider; he was being too easy and he knew that but it was always impossible for him to resist when Chris was being so caring. “Is that so?”

“I promise. Now, give me a cute little smile,” he reached out and tickled Erick’s ribs.

“Stop…” he let out a high pitch shriek, along with and uncontrollable fit of laughter as he tried to push Chris’ hand away but Chris only kept going as he smiled; he was the only one who could lighten Erick’s mood within a few minutes and he was damn proud of it.

“I knew the damn headache was just an excuse,” Richard mumbled from the other side of the pool.

“Uh, seriously? I thought we were out here to enjoy the sun,” Zabdiel commented. “Can’t you quit it? You’re not a spy and you’re not even doing a great job.”

“Then help me out. We’d make a great team. My offer still stands.”

“I’m sorry but I can’t hear you anymore, your lack of common sense is blocking your voice.”

Richard grabbed the towel that was by his foot and whacked Zabdiel on the thigh. “Lack of common sense? I’ll prove it to you that I’m right. Then you’ll come crawling back.”

“This is funny, like really, really funny. I’m definitely impatiently waiting for that day because you and I both know it’s never gonna happen.”

“It will… trust me.”

** That same night **

Erick looked at the time on his phone and groaned. Earlier that evening when he was having dinner with his mom, he had gotten a text from Christopher, saying _‘do you want to do something crazy?’_. The moment he had answered, he had gotten a second one saying, _‘wait for me in front of your door at midnight and bring a towel’_ and then a third one _‘don’t tell anyone’_. Not to tell anyone? He could possibly not have left without a word and had instead told his mom he was with Joel; a decision he was regretting because if his mom asked Joel or Joel asked his mom about him, he would have trouble explaining why he had lied and where he had gone. He again sighed; he should have ignored Chris and stayed in. He was currently standing in the hotel hallway, waiting for Chris, who was seventeen minutes late, and he was about to get back into his room when somebody slapped him on the back.

He turned around and glared at the boy. “Where were you?”

“I was watching tv. I didn’t see the time. You ready?”

“Where are we going?” Erick looked at Chris, who was already walking towards the elevator, and asked.

“Just come you’ll see.”

Erick eyed the other boy; Chris was fully dressed while he was wearing shorts and slides. “How can I go, without knowing where I’m going?”

Chris grabbed his hand and tugged on it. “Just follow me.”

Listening to Christopher’s words, Erick followed him into the elevator without another word. So, he was following Chris, then what? Where were they going? And the look on Chris’ face, he did not like it one bit because that look always meant trouble. They had curfew and were not allowed to get out of their room after eleven, not that they did not sneak out every now and then but at the moment, it was something else. What if someone found out? He did not want any kind of trouble with his mom or with management or, the least, with Joel. He was already having second thoughts about following Christopher. No, he should simply have ignored Christopher’s texts and stayed in his room, especially after how the boy had answered him earlier. Chris had not denied anything about Zabdiel and had only told him that Erick was his favourite, whatever that meant. Groaning, he cursed his ability to make the right decision.

“Do you think anyone else will ride this elevator?” Chris asked as he bit his lips.

“I don’t know… I don’t think so… look at the time.”

“Good.” Without warning, Chris moved closer and connected his mouth to the side of Erick’s neck.

“Chris… what are you doing?”

Christopher took a step back and again bit on his lower lip as he looked straight at the boy in front of him. “What I should have done a long time ago.”

Erick frowned; what was that supposed to mean? “What?”

“When you were half-naked and your hair was wet and you were looking delicious by the pool this afternoon,” he whispered before blowing onto Erick’s lips.

Erick sucked in a breath; his body was going into that mode where his heart would beat considerably faster, his breathing would get uneven and shivers would run through his every cell. He did not understand how Christopher could do that but it had happened a few times whenever he was in the other boy’s company and at times, it scared him. When Christopher leaned forward to lick his lips, Erick nearly dropped his towel and he quickly stepped to the side to get a grip of himself.

“Why am I the only one with a towel? Where’s yours?”

Christopher looked at his feet, shook his head and smiled when Erick moved away from him. “Good question,” he looked at the boy. “I guess I’ll just have to use yours then.”

The elevator stopped and Chris took Erick’s hand into his before walking away. “Why are we going to the pool?”

“To have fun.”

“Shit! We’ll be in trouble if anyone finds out we’re out here,” Erick stated.

“How will they know if we don’t tell them? Come on, have a little fun. You’ve become boring.”

 _Boring? How could Chris say he was boring when there were so many forbidden things that he was doing for the sake of that boy… or maybe they were for his own satisfaction._ “I’m not boring. Talk for yourself.”

“Really?”

Erick hummed and turned to face him. “Why are we at the pool?”

“So, not boring? How about a midnight-skinny-dip in the pool? I dare you.”

“Hmm…” Erick bit his lip; their rooms were on the side of the hotel that overlooked the pool and his mom or Zabdiel or Richard or Joel or anyone else could see them. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“See, I knew you were a big scaredy-cat,” Christopher smiled cheekily, knowing what those words had done to Erick in the past.

“I told you I’m not scared of anything,” he looked straight into Chris’ eyes. “Fine let’s do it. Let’s skinny dip.” Erick tossed his towel onto one of the lounge chairs and placed his hands on his hips as he kept looking at the other boy.

Nodding, Chris moved closer and pulled off Erick’s tank top before moving to remove his own shirt. As he went on to toe his shoes, Erick let his eyes scan Chris’ bare chest and instinctively, he bit on his lower lip. He felt warmer than before, even if the cool night breeze was hitting against his skin, and without wasting any more time, he grabbed Chris by the belt and pulled him closer, taking the boy completely by surprise. The next second, his lips were on Chris’ lips and he impatiently kissed the boy because having Chris’ lips against his was like a drug he had found himself being newly addicted to and he was glad Chris kissed him back without protest. Chris placed one hand on Erick’s hip and brought the other one to cup his cheek before closing his eyes and letting Erick tug his lower lip between his teeth.

“Wait…” Chris gasped against his lips. “Getting into the pool naked was the deal…”

“But…” Erick complained before leaving a few peck to Chris’ lips; other than the time where they had their first kiss in the bathroom, it was the first time he was kissing Christopher in a public place but he could not care less about it.

“First the pool and then we’ll see about this.”

Reluctantly, Erick let go of him and took a step backward as he looked at Chris, who motioned for him to undress as he unzipped his jeans and pulled them down his legs. He decided to do the same and pull his shorts off as he again glanced at the windows; he was taking a risk but little by little, the voice of reason that kept telling him to go back to his room and sleep was slowly fading away and the other voice that was urging him to go on and have a little fun was growing louder and louder. Licking his lips, he looked at Chris, who was as naked as he was, and then looked at the pool as the boy motioned for him to go ahead. Erick took a deep breath; he had agreed to do this but he had never agreed to do it alone. Taking Christopher’s hand into his, he led the boy to the edge of the pool before pushing him in and then jumping in right after him.

“Ahh… this is cold,” he cringed.

“This is not cold, it’s fucking freezing,” Christopher corrected.

“This was your idea,” Erick stated.

“Yes but I was hoping you’d talk me out of it and we’d end up someplace else,” Chris said as he swam to Erick before quietly adding, “someplace that is warm and cosy.”

“If I had known, I’d definitely have.”

He pressed his palm to Erick’s cheek and ran his thumb across the boy’s lips. “I know for sure this mouth is good at so many things, other than just talking.”

“Are you trying to flirt with me?”

“Maybe… am I?”

“I don’t know. It sounded like you were.”

“Maybe I am then… but the things is…” he whispered and then blew onto Erick’s lips. “With you, there’s no need for me to flirt.”

Erick sucked in a breath when Christopher placed his other hand on his lower back and pressed their bodies together; he had been trying to keep his cool since Chris had started undressing but he could no longer control his body and his heartrate was speeding. His blood was rushing through his veins and he only wanted to push Chris against the side of the pool and kiss him senseless. Erick closed his eyes and took a deep breath; he did not even know why Chris always had such an effect on him.

“Are you trying to say I’m easy?”

“No… it’s just…” Chris stopped mid-sentence when he heard a voice approaching them; Richard’s voice? He dragged Erick to the darker side of the pool that was shaded by a tree and pressed him against the side of the pool before putting his palm to his mouth.

“Richard… come on, it’s so dark out here. Can’t we come when there’s light?” Zabdiel said in an almost annoyed and sleepy tone; the boy was in a bathrobe and was wearing his fuzzy slippers.

“You’re scared?”

“No… I’m sleepy,” Zabdiel groaned. “I can’t believe you dragged me out of bed in the middle of the night to come here and look for your dumb earring.”

“It’s not a dumb earring. I got it like a week ago and it was expensive. So, don’t just stand there. Help me out.”

“Is there a way I can talk you out of this?”

“Maybe if you promise to help me out with that other thing…”

Zabdiel let out another groan. “Fine, I promise. Can we go back inside?” Zabdiel looked around them and wrapped his arms tighter around himself.

“No, not like this. I want a pinkie promise. Hold out your pinkie and say it.”

“I can’t believe that just came out of your mouth. I mean… if it was Erick, I’d have understood,” Zabdiel scoffed and Christopher let out a little laugh. “Well, it wouldn’t have surprised me if it was Chris either, but you?”

“Say it.”

Zabdiel hooked his pinkie with Richard’s and said. “I promise I’ll help you.”

“With?”

“With that new obsession that you have,” he added and Richard glared at him.

“Fine, five more minutes and then we go back.”

Seeing that Chris was distracted, Erick trailed his hand down the boy’s stomach and palmed his penis. Instantly, Christopher let go of Erick’s mouth and pressed that same hand to his own mouth instead to restrain himself from making any sound when Erick rubbed his penis. He did not plan on stopping there because seeing that his mouth was free, Erick leaned forward and connected his lips to the side of Chris’ neck while he buried his other hand into Chris’ wet hair. A week, it had been a week since he had done anything like this and he had no idea he had missed having his hands and mouth on Christopher that much. As much as he was enjoying all the treatments that he was receiving, he did not like it when he did not have the upper hand in such situations; he had to turn the tables around. Christopher grabbed both of Erick’s hands by the wrist and pulled them away from him before pinning them against the edge of the pool, on each sides of Erick’s body, instantly making Erick pull away to look at him.

It was only a matter of seconds before Christopher’s lips were on Erick’s and he closed his eyes as the other boy eagerly kissed him back. Erick’s lips; Christopher could never get enough of them. Every time, he would convince himself that he was only doing that for the wellbeing of both Erick and Joel and he would try to forget how Erick’s lips or hands felt on him but then every time they were pressed together, he would only realise how much he had missed not having Erick pressed against him and he would want him even more. Slowly, Chris trailed his hands along Erick’s arms and down his sides to wrap them tightly around his waist as they both pulled away to look into each other’s eyes before leaning in to claim the other’s lips again. Letting out a little whimper, Erick enclosed his arms around Chris’ neck and his legs around Chris’ hips. That action caused Chris to lose his balance and he fell backward, dragging Erick with him as they both went under the surface of the water, with a splash.

He quickly came back up and looked around, in case Richard or Zabdiel had spotted them but Chris let out a sigh of relief when he realised they had left. “Come on, let’s get out.” He propped himself out and offered a hand to Erick.

“Are we going inside?”

“Not yet.”

The next thing Erick knew was that he was lifted off his feet and he was set on his back on one of the lounge chairs. He bit his lips and looked up at Christopher, who was looking back at him; a shiver ran down his spine and his skin was instantly covered in goosebumps when he saw how the other boy was looking at him. Then there was that fluttery feeling in his stomach and his heart was beating faster again. Erick licked his lips before taking the boy’s hand and pulling him towards him. Smiling, Chris complied; he climbed on top of Erick and lay a few kisses along his jawline.

“Kiss me…” Erick whispered and the corners of Chris’ lips again curved upwards.

 


	10. Consequences

Erick rolled onto his stomach and rubbed his nose before making a face. The truth was: he was grumpy because he had just lost a game of FIFA against Chris, who was currently playing against Richard. That was precisely why he had wanted to play Mario Kart because he never won at FIFA but the others had not wanted because there were not enough controllers for all of them. Well, they had four of them but one of them broke, they lost one and there were only two remaining, resulting in them taking turns to play. It was nine, they were all gathered in Richard’s room for a night of video games and it looked like it was going to be a long, very long night. Sighing, Erick looked around the room at the others; Joel was sitting at the foot of the bed, eating spaghetti that he had ordered from room service because he had skipped dinner earlier, Zabdiel was sitting on one of the armchairs, Richard was sitting by Zabdiel’s foot and Christopher was on another armchair, not far from where he was. He watched Chris’ fingers actively working on the controller and he could not help but remember what those fingers had done to him two nights ago.

**Flashback**

“Kiss me…” Erick whispered and the corners of Chris’ lips again curved upwards.

Without saying anything else, Christopher did as he was told and fully pressed his lips to Erick’s before taking Erick’s bottom lip between his teeth and tugging on it. Erick’s lips against his, Erick’s hands on his skin and Erick’s body pressed against his, these were everything that he wanted and nothing else mattered because everything else failed in comparison of the boy under him. Christopher pulled away and looked at Erick; what was he thinking? Why the hell would he think about something like that? Why would he suddenly start thinking that Erick was his everything? He knew they were close but being his everything, that was a little much, even for him to deal with. What was happening to him? What was Erick doing to him?

“Come back…” Erick again whispered.

Christopher blinked and banished those thoughts from his mind. No matter how rational they were, there was something else that was more important in his eyes. Erick was lying there, naked, and looking up at him while biting the side of his bottom lip and those were enough to give Chris’ thoughts a new direction. A shiver ran down his spine; there were so many things he wanted to do to Erick, things that he had never done to anyone before and yet, he was excited to do them to Erick. Looking into Christopher’s eyes, Erick grabbed both his arms and slowly pulled him back to him. When Chris kissed him, Erick buried his fingers into his hair and parted his legs, so that Chris could settle between his thighs and get closer to him. He let out a groan when their penises made contact and moved to bury his face into Christopher’s neck. Damn it! Erick had no idea what he was doing but he was impatient for more. Next, Chris thrust his hips against Erick and the boy could not help from hissing before biting on his own lip to muffle any more sounds that threatened to come out of his mouth.

Erick closed his eyes and allowed Chris to take control of the situation because as apprehensive as he was, he was also eager to see what the boy would do next. He did not have to wait for much longer since Christopher attached his mouth to the side of Erick’s neck and left a series of wet kisses there. The kisses were slowly directed to Erick’s collar bone, then to the middle of his neck before moving down his chest and stomach. Chris paused for a couple of seconds, lifted his eyes to look at Erick’s face and then took his penis into his mouth. They were there, on a lounge chair, by the pool, at the hotel, and anyone could walk in on them and Christopher knew that and his brain kept telling him that but somehow, his need to be close to Erick, to be pressed against him and to have the boy say his name, were clouding his reasons. He kept his eyes on Erick as his mouth kept going and his hand caressed the boy’s thigh. He pulled back a little, pressed a few kisses to the inner side of Erick’s thigh and smiled when the boy let out a little whimper.

Breathing heavily through his mouth, Erick opened his eyes and looked at Chris; the boy was licking his thigh, lightly biting on his skin and his mouth was moving higher up again, dangerously close to his penis. Things were happening, he knew it was not right to do them there but despite all that, he did nothing to prevent them. On the contrary, he wanted more and his wish was granted as Chris was sucking him again, teasing his penis and Erick could only let out a curse. He buried his fingers into Christopher’s hair, tugging on it and trying to bring the boy back up for another kiss but Chris only slapped his hand away and kept going. Of course, Erick was not going to give up right away; kissing Chris was the best part of everything and he wanted the boy’s lips against his. However, he resigned after a few attempts when he realised he would not get what he wanted and then something he has not expected happened. Did that just happen or did he think it did? Erick propped himself on an elbow to make sure he was not imagining things but he dropped himself back down when he again felt it; Chris had a finger in him.

All kind of swear words were running through his mind but none of them actually made it past his lips as his body and his brain were no longer in coordination and his body was only taking in whatever Chris was giving. Next thing he knew was that Christopher was no longer sucking him and the boy had shifted and was kissing him. It was a short kiss and Chris again moved to loom over Erick as he took the boy’s erection into fist and Erick did the same to him. They stared into each other’s eyes and Christopher could feel the temperature rising between them as did his breathings and heartrate. Honestly, he wanted to replace those two fingers that he had in Erick’s ass with his penis but he restrained himself, not sure how Erick would react to that. Never breaking the eye contact, Erick bit on his lower lip; he knew with all the things that Chris was doing to him and the way he was staring at him, he would not last much longer and hence, he sped up the movement of his hand as he wanted them both to climax at the same time.

**End of flashback**

Joel nudged Erick’s elbow and said when the boy looked at him, “stop sulking, it’s just a game.”

Erick looked around himself and realised he was still in Richard’s room and not by the pool with Christopher. He glanced at Chris, who was still so much absorbed into that stupid game, and then the boy licked his lips and a shiver instantly ran down his spine. Those lips, how he wanted them against his, how he wanted them against his skin and… Erick sighed. That was one of the most amazing nights of his life and he knew he was always going to remember it. The only problem was that he wondered if Christopher felt the same because they never talked about anything that they did. Just like the other night, after they were done, Chris had shifted and they had both sat there in silence until Chris had asked about his new shoes that were missing.

“Hey, where are you lost?” Joel asked as he again nudged his elbow.

Christopher’s voice sounded so nice… wait, that was not Chris. Joel’s voice brought him back to reality; Joel’s voice, not Christopher’s voice. Why was he thinking about Chris? He should be thinking about Joel, not Chris. Joel was his boyfriend, what was wrong with him? “Uhh… nowhere…”

Erick shifted and sat behind Joel, with his legs on either sides of the other boy’s legs and his chest pressed against his back before wrapping his arms around his waist and resting his chin on Joel’s shoulder. Maybe being close to Joel and letting Joel’s warmth engulf him would bring back some sanity into his head. Joel smiled at the action; he knew Erick did not care about the others being there to be affectionate but that action really surprised him because normally, Erick would just sit beside him, wrap his arms around his waist and rest his head on his shoulder, not that he was complaining. Then Erick whispered in his ear, _‘I want you to put your finger in me’_ and Joel dropped his fork. Three pairs of eyes instantly turned to him and he quickly cleared his throat before picking up the fork and taking some spaghetti and shoving them into his mouth. The other three only shook their heads and turned their attention back to what they were doing, Richard and Christopher back to the game and Zabdiel to his phone.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Joel mouthed before glancing at the other three boys.

“I think it was pretty simple. I want you to put your finger in me, like literally do it.”

Joel simply looked down; he was embarrassed and he could feel how hot his ears had gotten. He was definitely not expecting to hear anything like that and he was not sure he knew what to say or how to react to that. Seeing that Joel said or did nothing, Erick went on to press a kiss to the shell of his ear before licking it. Of course, that action did not fail to catch Christopher’s eyes, which had been going back and forth between them and the tv from the time Erick had shifted to hug Joel. As much as he wanted to look away, he kept his eyes on them and almost cringed when Erick whispered something into Joel’s ear and they both smiled. That was when he finally turned his eyes to the floor because looking at those two always did something weird to him inside, like his gut was doing somersaults and his heart was sinking in his chest. Christopher glanced at them from the corner of his eyes and instantly regretted it; Erick was leaving a trail of kisses from Joel’s earlobe to his shoulder while his hand was rubbing the boy’s stomach.

“Bet you didn’t see that coming,” Richard said loudly.

When Chris lifted his head again, he realised Richard had won. “W-w-what?” he stammered; when did that happen? He was certain he had his eyes on the game all along. Oh yeah, that was until he had gotten distracted by Erick and Joel.

“I told you guys he was not invincible,” Joel stated.

“That’s the second time it has happened, what are you gonna do about it?” Richard laughed as he knew how proud Christopher was because no one could beat him at FIFA.

“You know what? Fuck this… fuck this game and fuck everything,” he said on an annoyed tone before tossing his controller to the floor. “I only lost because…”

The moment Christopher trailed off and looked at the floor again, Richard turned his eyes to Joel and Erick. Seeing the embrace that they were in, it only took a second to understand what had happened. So, Chris saw what was going on and he could not concentrate on his game anymore because he was jealous since he was having a thing with Erick. That was one more proof added to the already long list of proofs that he had and Zabdiel was not even paying attention, he was only interested in his phone. He nudged Zabdiel, in an attempt to tell him to see what was going on but Zabdiel’s eyes never left his phone and Christopher was still staring at his feet and Richard wondered what was so interesting about his shoes. Talking about Christopher’s shoes, the boy had not asked anyone if they had seen his new shoes, the same one that Richard had stolen by the pool and hidden at the bottom of his suitcase, under his other shoes. He had expected Chris to ask someone, anyone, about them because he had only gotten them the week before, when Richard had bought himself that earing that he had lost.

Anyways, Richard had decided he would return them only after Chris would explain why he was at the pool at midnight with Erick. Of course Zabdiel had seen them kissing as well but when Richard had said that was the biggest evidence to prove his point, Zabdiel had only said it was too dark to see anything, to assume that the two people in the pool were Christopher and Erick, because from where they were they could only see one of the person from behind and the other was almost completely hidden, and to jump to any conclusion. Okay, Richard had not argued because he knew Zabdiel was right and it was too dark to really see anything, although he was willing to bet it was Christopher and Erick. Well, back to the important situation, none of the other four boys had moved an inch since the previous few minutes and Richard sighed; his bandmates could be so boring at times. He elbowed Zabdiel’s foot, in another attempt to make him look away from his phone but failed and decided that maybe if he spoke, he would manage to get everyone out of their own little bubbles.

Richard eyed the plate that was resting on Joel’s thighs and said loudly, breaking the peaceful silence that was in the room, “careful with that. I don’t want any stain on my carpet.”

Joel was going to speak but Erick was faster. “Technically, this is not your carpet because this is a hotel”

“Technically, this is my hotel room and this is temporarily my carpet. I don’t want anyone to think I stained the carpet when I didn’t.”

“There,” Joel shook his head as he set the plate on the floor.

“And move away you two. This is sickening. I thought we have rules.”

“Richard, Richard, Richard,” Erick sighed. “The rules were for the tour bus, it never said anything about anywhere else. Actually, if I remember correctly, it says we can do anything we want in hotel rooms.”

“In your hotel room, not mine or anyone else’s,” Richard corrected. “And this is my room.”

“Whatever. What’s the point of having the rules, if no one is going to break them every once in a while?”

“Damn it, I forgot that it’s pointless trying to talk sense in you people. Zabdiel, you wanna play the next round?” he asked as he offered him the controller that Christopher had thrown to the floor.

“You know video game is not my thing.”

“Why are you even here if all you intend to do is to stay on your phone?”

“Because the wi-fi in your room is better and faster.”

“Right. That’s why you’re all here. How did I forget? Joel?” he turned to the boy and asked.

“Yeah.”

“I’m going back to my room,” Christopher said as he got up.

“Oh come on. Be a good sport. It’s just a game and someone has to lose. This time I won, maybe next time you will.”

“Fine…” he sat back and pulled out his phone. He looked at the screen and frowned; losing was only part of the reason why he was going back to his room, the major reason was Erick and Joel. Seeing them together was disturbing and with time, it made him feel more and more uncomfortable and sick inside.

“Stop…” Joel laughed when Erick tickled his sides. “You’re gonna make me lose.”

“No, no, keep going. Don’t stop,” Richard urged. “Keep him distracted.”

“Yeah, I can do that, always a pleasure.” Erick pressed a kiss to the side of Joel’s neck and moved his mouth to his ear, to whisper something; something at which Joel turned pink.

That was it; he could not take this for another second. “I’m going to bed,” he said and walked to the door before anyone else could stop him.

“What’s wrong with him?” Zabdiel asked as he looked away from his phone when Chris banged the door.

“If you weren’t so busy with your phone, you’d have known,” Richard commented.

“What are you trying to say? All I care about is my phone?”

“I don’t know… what do you think?”

That instantly earned him a kick from Zabdiel and being himself, he had to retort. In turn, he bit on Zabdiel’s knee hard, causing the boy to wince in pain before hitting him again. And then the war began because Richard was not one who would accept defeat easily.

“Thanks Zabdi, you’re the best. I owe you,” Joel smiled from the bed.

“Always a pleasure,” Zabdiel grinned as he mimicked Erick. “Anything for you.”

Richard looked up from the headlock that Zabdiel had him in and realised Joel was winning. “Let go of me, you prick. You’re sabotaging me.”

“You asked for it.”

**Seventy-two minutes later…**

Christopher cursed as he exited the bathroom and realised someone was knocking on his door. He walked to the door, opened it and peeked outside. He sighed and walked back inside when he saw it was Erick; Erick, the last person that he wanted to see at the moment. After seeing those two in Richard’s room earlier, Christopher had already decided that he had had enough of Erick for one night and he would head to bed and try to erase the images that he had seen from his mind but as usual, Erick had other plans, plans that would ruin his. Actually, he was done with Erick for real and he realised he should put an end to all the insanity that had been going through his mind for the past months. Something that he should never have started in the first place, he could see that now.

“What are you doing here?” he asked when Erick wrapped his arms around his waist from behind.

“I thought I’d see you before going to my room. What took you so long?”

Chris only rolled his eyes at the question; he had a towel wrapped around his hips and it was pretty obvious that he had come out of the shower. “Why? There was no one else you could go and annoy?” He knew that the words coming out of his mouth were mean but that was the least of his worry. Looking at Erick made pictures of him and Joel ran through Chris’ mind and that made him feel not so good inside. He only wanted to be left alone and if being mean to Erick meant he would leave, that was fine with him.

“You know we always have more fun together and I would rather be here with you than go to anyone else,” Erick only smiled.

 _Even Joel?_ Chris was going to asked but bit the tip of his tongue and stayed quiet. He closed his eyes when Erick pressed a kiss to the side of his neck and then one to his shoulder blade. Erick’s lips were warm and soft against his skin but all he could think about was Erick’s lips on Joel, only minutes earlier. If Erick had brushed his teeth or something, Chris would not have cared but as a matter of fact, Erick had come straight from Richard’s room and he had been kissing Joel there; all those made it feel wrong, sinful even.

“You smell so good,” Erick whispered and ran his hand up and down Chris’ stomach.

It seemed like a good time to put a full-stop to things before they went out of his control since he knew himself and he knew he would end up giving in soon if he did not do anything about it. Taking a deep breath to gather his courage, Christopher pushed Erick’s away and took a few steps away from the boy. However, Erick had something else in mind and before Chris was out of his reach, he grabbed his towel and tugged on it, leaving the other boy naked. He smiled when Chris turned to stare at him. Yes, he was staring at Erick because he had not anticipated that action. He looked down at his naked self and then back at Erick’s face. It was a wrong move because the hair on his body were already sticking up and there was a warm feeling running from his head to his toes and taking over him. No, he had to get a grip of himself. Doing that exactly, he moved to his suitcase and pulled some clothes on before taking his phone and walking to the window; the window was a safe place because he knew Erick would not do anything inappropriate to him there since anyone could see them. The next step was to get Erick out of his room and he dialled Richard’s number.

“Hey, I was wondering if you want to go out?” he said the moment the other boy answered. “Okay, I just came out of the bathroom. Give me 10 and I’ll meet you in the corridor. Okay.”

“Where are you going?” Erick asked when Chris ended the call.

“Out with Richard,” Chris replied as he walked back to the bathroom to get his hat. “Close the door when you leave.”

It did not take long before he heard the door open and close again and Chris leaned onto the counter and sighed. What had he done? Erick had willingly come to him and what had he done? He had pushed him away. He could not help but feel guilty. Although he had not seen it, he could clearly imagine the disappointed look on Erick’s face when he had asked him to leave. Christopher looked at his reflection and honestly, he felt horrible; Erick had not deserved it but for once, he wanted to do something for himself. Yet, there he was already regretting it. He texted Richard, telling him that he was not going, stripped of his clothes and climbed into his bed.

**Meanwhile…**

Erick slowly walked down the hallway; what had happened back in Christopher’s room? Had the boy really asked him to leave? Why? He could still not believe Chris had kicked him out. When he had gone there, he had thought they would… well, never mind what he had thought because that was irrelevant now. Christopher had kicked him out and it only meant he was not wanted. If Chris was tired and had asked him to leave nicely, he would have understood but no, the boy was not tired because he was going out with Richard and that meant he was probably going to hook up with some girl. Erick made a face at the thought; somehow, he could not bear thinking about anyone else touching Chris; that thought alone was enough to make him want to rip off the eyes of anyone who would look at his Chris. Damn it! His Chris? What was he thinking? He was going crazy, no insane. Erick looked up and realised he had passed his door and he let out a groan. Yes, he was definitely going insane.

 


	11. Like A See-Saw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to finish and post this ages ago but i was really busy. So, finally here it is and sorry for the really long wait.

Christopher licked his ice-cream and turned the pamphlet over to look at the backside; it was one advertising various kinds of bags and he had taken it from a shop that he had been to earlier. Although he was not interested in any of the bags, he still kept staring at the glossy paper as he quietly ate his ice-cream. It was four forty-five in the morning, they were at the airport and according to him, there was no particular time to have ice-cream and had gone and ordered himself a cone. Erick was sitting beside him, chewing on a gum and occasionally sipping on his cappuccino, which was disgusting in Chris’ eyes, and they were waiting for the other three to join them at the restaurant that they were in after checking in. Erick took another sip of his drink and Christopher rolled his eyes before groaning.

Erick turned to look at him. “What?”

“That’s just gross and it’s too early for gross.”

“At least I’m not looking at female handbags,” it was Erick’s turn to roll his eyes.

“They’re called man purse.”

“Whatever, I don’t care. They look like female bags to me.”

“That’s because you have no sense of fashion.”

“Says who? You? Of course you’d know that, you’re such a little girl,” Erick muttered.

Christopher scoffed; that was such a lame comeback. “Says who? You?” He leaned closer to Erick and whispered into his ear, “I’m not the one who had fingers in my ass.”

Okay, that was a good one because Erick instantly turned pink the moment that left Chris’ mouth. He looked at the boy, who had that smug smile on his lips, and then looked down at the table; he had to have a better reply to that. “Says the one who likes to play with little boy’s ass.”

“You? Little?” Chris raised an eyebrow. “The things you do aren’t things little boys do.”

“I’m 17, not yet an adult. So…”

“Physically, you may be little but mentally, you’re far from that. Besides, you’re the one who willingly offered your ass,” he stated and shrugged.

Erick swallowed. He had thought he would turn things around and win this argument but Chris had gone way beyond the limit and he had to do something about it. He rested an elbow on the table, leaned on it and placed his other hand on Christopher’s knee as he kept chewing on his gum and occasionally glanced at the boy out of the corner of his eyes. As expected, the smile on Chris’ lips vanished and he turned his head to the side to stare at Erick. Slowly, he moved the hand upward on the boy’s thigh and slid it to his inner thigh before trailing it back down and repeating the same action. Then Erick cupped his penis and Christopher froze on the spot; his ice-cream was melting in his hand and even though he wanted to slap Erick’s hand away, he did not because any abrupt movement would attract unnecessary attention and Renato was sitting right across the table. So, he kept still and slowly breathed in and out through his mouth, hoping Erick would stop whatever he was doing soon. Erick did a little victory jump in his head; he was enjoying himself. If Christopher won with his words a few minutes earlier, he was currently winning by using his hand.

Then, he pulled away, announced he was going to find a bathroom and left without waiting for the others to answer. The moment Erick was out of sight, Christopher let out a breath the he had been holding. If Erick had kept going for a minute longer, he was pretty sure he would have been the one who would have excused himself and ran off to find a bathroom. Taking a deep breath and pushing thoughts of Erick and his hand out of his head, Chris took a bite at the ice-cream cone before licking the cream that had melted and was dripping down his fingers. What the hell had just happened? In a freaking restaurant? When there were people around? That was really fucked up and Renato was looking at him weird at the moment. There was only one thing going through his head; Renato knew. Damn! Chris cleared his throat when Renato raised an eyebrow at him and directed his eyes back to the pamphlet. His phone vibrated on the table and he realised it was a text from Erick.

_‘I need help’_

Chris laughed before typing in a reply: _‘to pee? Can’t you hold your own dick?’_

_‘My zipper is stuck’_

The smile on Chris’ lips never vanished as he typed the next one: _‘Is that so? Or is that just an excuse?’_

_‘No… maybe…I guess you’ll have to come and find out’_

_‘Where are you?’_

_‘Roses are red, violets are blue, follow the clue and to me it will lead you’_

Chris frowned at the text? _‘What?’_

_‘Follow my steps’_

So, Erick was playing games? Christopher looked at the ice-cream in his hand, then at Erick’s cup of cappuccino, dropped the cone in the cup and mumbled something incoherent before leaving the restaurant. All he knew was that Erick had said he was going to the bathroom but where? He stopped and looked around himself, wondering where he should head next.

 _‘Right or left?’_ he sent.

_‘Erick is never wrong’_

Shaking his head, Chris turned to his right and started walking. _‘How far?’_

_‘If you were right, that is the correct way to keep looking’_

Chris kept his eyes on the right and sighed in relief when he saw the toilet sign. He entered it and again stopped. _‘now what?’_

_‘one, two, buckle my shoes, three, four, knock at the door’_

Seriously? Erick was the worst at giving clues. So what was he supposed to do? There were five stalls and two doors were closed. Which one was Erick in, if even he was in the right place? Erick expected him to just knock? What if it was the wrong door? Christopher shook his head; he was not taking that risk.

“Erick?” he called and waited for a response, which was not much longer after because Erick opened the door and looked at him.

“You found me,” he grinned.

“Yeah, you said you needed me to…” Chris trailed when a man exited the stall next to that one and eyed them weirdly. “Like I was saying,” he continued once they were alone, “you wanted h-”

He was cut off by Erick who only grabbed the front of his shirt, pulled him into the cubicle with him and locked the door. “No more talking.”

Chris wrapped his arms around Erick’s waist and pulled him closer before whispering, “like I said, this mouth is very skilful.”

“Shh…” Erick pressed his index to Christopher’ lips and looked into his eyes.

Slowly, Chris leaned in to close the distance between them but only ended up hitting his forehead with the brim of Erick’s hat. He frowned, rubbed at the spot and flipped the hat backward to avoid any further disturbances. Erick let out a little laugh at that before moving away and before Chris could complain, he found himself being pushed into a sitting position on the toilet seat. Without wasting time, Erick climbed into his lap and kissed him; that scene did not fail to bring back memories of their first kiss, where they were cooped up in a toilet stall, in a quite similar position. Christopher’s lips, they tasted like vanilla and chocolate, probably from the ice-cream that the boy had been eating, but other than that, they were warm and soft and eager, just like Erick remembered and liked. As usual, there was that feeling going through his body that made his skin tingle and the hair at the back of his neck stand straight. Oh, how much he loved that and how screwed he was for loving that.

Without breaking the kiss, he wrapped an arm around Chris’ neck and trailed his other hand down the boy’s chest. He snuck it under his shirt, popped open the button of his jeans and pulled the zipper down before slipping his hand inside. Christopher let out a gasp when Erick’s cold hand made contact with his penis and he tugged on Erick’s lower lip as he tightened his grip around the boy’s waist. He pressed their foreheads together and bit down on the side of his own lips; when Erick had sent him that first text, he had the impression something was going on in Erick’s mind but he had no idea it involved them being in the position that they were in, maybe a long kissing session in the toilet stall but a handjob? That thought never crossed his mind and he was probably zoning out because Erick had placed two fingers under his chin and had made him kiss him again. Chris left a few pecks there and then directed his mouth to the side of Erick’s neck.

“No biting,” Erick let out quietly.

“’Mnot…” Chris whispered back as he again grazed Erick’s skin with his teeth before kissing it.

He knew he should not leave any mark but what could he do? He had a little addiction when it concerned biting, he always had and he did it to everyone, not just Erick, although it was mostly Erick who was always a victim of Chris’ teeth. Restraining himself from biting the boy’s neck, Christopher left a few wet kisses to his skin instead. Next thing he knew, Erick had pulled away, had gotten to his feet and was pulling him up as well. Erick pushed Chris against the wall and took his previously occupied seat on the toilet before looking up at the boy, who was also looking at him. He pushed his shirt higher up on his chest, placed a kiss to his stomach and took his penis into his mouth, causing Chris to let out another gasp before pressing his palm to his mouth to muffle it. Erick almost let out a little chuckle at that, well, he would have if his mouth was not busy elsewhere. Honestly, those little getaways with Chris were starting to become his favourite, not only because it was Christopher but also because they were so secretive, so spontaneous and almost wrong that they only made him want more.

Chris looked at Erick through his half-closed eyes; he wanted to bury his fingers into Erick’s hair and guide his head but the boy was wearing a hat and instead, he only placed his hand at the back of his head. Erick’s hands were on his ass to hold him in place while his mouth was doing wonders around his penis. He let out a gasp and gripped the edge of the door for extra support when Erick did a tongue swirling motion that caused his knees to go weak. Then Erick upped his game and took him deeper, making it almost too much for him to handle. Another gasp escaped Chris’s lips; Chris’ gasp, Chris’ hiss, Chris’ moan, Chris’ voice, simply any sound coming out of Christopher’s mouth, those were Erick’s favourite things to hear lately. He pulled away and brushed his lips with the back of his hand as he looked at Christopher, who was panting against the wall.

“We should get back… the others are probably waiting for us already,” Chris said as he straightened his clothes.

Erick frowned and pointed between his legs, “what about me?”

“Right,” Christopher nodded.

He pulled Erick to a standing position and placed his hands on his hips before kissing him. It was short and sweet and he pressed Erick against the opposite wall. Christopher looked at the boy, who had his eyes closed, and bit his lip cheekily. Without saying or doing anything, he exited the toilet, shoved his hands in the pockets of his hoodie and retraced his steps back to the restaurant. He could have helped Erick out and part of him wanted to but there was also another part of him that wanted to be mischievous by leaving Erick to deal with his situation. He knew the boy was going to annoy him later, considering Chris had not given him an opportunity to say anything before leaving him there in the stall, but that was a chance that he was willing to take. After walking for about four minutes, he stopped and realised the place was not familiar at all. Chris let out a sigh; he had taken the wrong turn while thinking about Erick and shaking his head, he turned on his heels and started walking again.

“Where were you? And where’s Erick?” Richard asked the moment Chris approached them.

“I was… hmm… bored and went to stretch my legs,” he simply shrugged before pulling a chair from another table and setting it between Richard and Zabdiel; there was already a free chair on Richard’s other side, between him and Joel, considering Renato was not there anymore, but Chris was too lazy to walk around the table.

“And Erick?”

“I don’t know, I thought he was with you guys.”

“No,” Zabdiel shook his head. “We were still checking in when you two left with Renato.”

“Oh, right! Now I remember. He said something about going to the bathroom. I thought he was back. Maybe he got lost…” Christopher trailed off when he saw all eyes turn to him.

Richard frowned. “He went alone?”

“I think he’s old enough and doesn’t need help to pee.”

“Jerk,” Richard hit him on the arm. “You know what I mean. And what’s this mess?” he pointed to the table.

Christopher looked at it as well and made a face; his ice-cream had melted into Erick’s cappuccino and the cup had over-flown, leaving a patch on the table. “This looks bad. Who did this?”

“You’re not as good of a liar as you think you are,” Zabdiel stated.

“Yeah, that’s correct bro,” Richard agreed.

Christopher tensed up for a second and tried to keep a neutral expression. What was that supposed to mean? Could they see through him? Did they know about him and Erick, despite all his effort at hiding things? Well, he knew Richard had doubts but… the certainty with which they were talking was saying something else. What about Joel? Did he know too? No, that could not be because if that were, he would have ended things with Erick and as far as he knew, they were still together… unless they were not and they had not told anyone about it yet and everyone still thought they were dating when in fact, the truth was something else… but of course, that was only one possibility because it could be that Joel knew but he was still with Erick because… no, that would not make sense because in that particular case, he would know that Erick was not interested in him and being Joel, he would have ended things but… yes, there was another ‘but’ because Erick had never said he was not interested in Joel and only had eyes for him, so...

Zabdiel paced a hand on his shoulder and violently shook him a couple of times to get his attention. “You know, it’s really weird when you go blank and completely zone out in the middle of a conversation. And you keep doing it more and more lately.”

“I agree with Zabdi,” Joel nodded. “What do you keep thinking about?”

“You don’t wanna know. Trust me, you don’t wanna know.”

Richard took his phone, typed a quick text and handed the phone to Zabdiel from behind Christopher. Zabdiel frowned but took the device anyway to look at it.

_Wanna bet he was with Erick?_

Zabdiel leaned further back and shook his head at Richard; that could not be, they were at the airport.

“Guys, that’s rude, you know?” Christopher also leaned back and blocked them. “Me and Joel are right here. You can’t do that. You can’t pass secret notes to each other. Give me that phone and let me see what’s happening.”

“Oops,” Zabdiel smiled sheepishly when Chris pulled the phone from his hand. “I accidentally deleted it.”

“Argh, you guys… Joel say something,” he urged.

“Yeah guys, if you wanna have secret talks, you should do that when you’re alone, not when we’re all together. That’s not very polite, it’s disrespectful even.”

“So, this is how it’s gonna be? You two versus us two?” Richard stated.

“We’re not against you, we’re just saying. Now we’re gonna want to know what you two have been up to,” Joel tapped his fingers simultaneously on the table as he looked back and forth between the two of them.

“You wanna know? Ok, we’ll tell you.”

Zabdiel glared at him and reached out to slapped him at the back of the head. “Not a word.”

“What?” Richard frowned. “But they want to know. And they’re right, it’s not good to keep secrets from your friends, you know?”

Why? Could Richard not keep his mouth shut? If they said anything, Joel would get to know what had been happening between Chris and Erick, for the past months, not that they had solid proofs that something was happening but it would be enough to plant the seed of doubt in his head. Then something caught his eyes and he decided to use that as a diversion. “Richard was telling me that Chris’ zipper is open and we should not let him know so that he can embarrass himself in front of someone else.”

Christopher looked down and indeed his zipper was open. He quickly pulled it back up and then turned to Richard. “What were you looking for there to see that?”

“Nothing…” and it was true because he would not have known, had Zabdiel not mentioned it.

“Really?” he stood and tried to sit in Richard’s lap but the boy pushed him off before he could.

“Get off, it’s too early for me to deal with your childish behaviour.”

“Mean… my Zabdi would never push me away,” smiling, he plopped himself on Zabdiel’s thighs.

Zabdiel immediately looked around them, “stop, there are people around.”

Chris also took a look at their surroundings; there were a few people around but they were either too sleepy or not awake enough to pay attention to them. “Doesn’t look like they care.”

“I do, get off.”

Chris only wrapped his arms around his neck and snuggled closer. “So warm.”

“Erick,” Richard laughed loudly when the boy walked to them. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Why are you wearing your hat in a funny way?”

Erick took a seat in Chris’ chair and took his phone to look at himself. He had forgotten to put his hat proper and had left it backward and it was only then that he realised his hair was sticking from under it, framing his face in a really funny way. “Oh, I thought it was a cool look.”

“Definitely not, bro. Fix that before someone spots you like this.”

“Ugh, fine…”

“Get off me, Chris,” Zabdiel untangled his arms and pushed him off.

“You guys are always so mean to me,” he pouted.

“Then find someone who will not mind you being all over them,” Richard rolled his eyes.

“Erick, my love,” he grinned and dropped himself on him.

Erick laughed nervously before whispering to him, “what are you doing?”

Chris was going to answer but something at the corner of Erick’s mouth caught his eyes and he grabbed a napkin from the table to wipe it. Without saying anything either, Richard took his phone and recorded that action; it would serve as proof later, for when Zabdiel would say that they could not assume things. Then Chris leaned closer to whisper something to Erick and Erick looked down, clearly embarrassed. How could Zabdiel say it was all in his head when those two were so obvious? And how could Joel be so oblivious?

Richard leaned closer to Joel and said, “looks like you’ve got some competition.”

“Chris and Erick?” Joel shook his head. “I don’t think so. They’ve always been close, its nothing new.”

He was right; so ignorant. “If you say...”

“Hey, you two,” Zabdiel interrupted. “You may want to move away a little coz there a little lady looking at you weird from behind the counter.”

“If you’re getting jealous Zabdi, you should never have pushed me away,” he stated as he cuddled closer to Erick.

“Ok, enough Chris. It’s one thing when you do it when there’s just us but we’re in a freaking restaurant. Get off him.” Richard pushed him hard and he almost landed on Zabdiel again.

Chris turned around, placed his hands on his hips and glared at Richard.

“Don’t think you’re scaring me,” Richard pointed out. “I don’t even feel intimidated, not even a little bit.”

Chris walked to him and did something that no one expected; he pressed his lips to Richard’s, leaving all of them astound.

“Ready to go?” Renato asked. “What happened?” he added as he looked at all of their shocked faces.

“Nothing,” Zabdiel cleared his throat and answered. “Yeah, we’re ready.”

“Don’t ever fucking do that again,” Richard said as he got up.

Chris shrugged, “you asked for it.”

**Later that night**

“Where’s Chris?” Richard asked when Zabdiel entered the room and went straight to the bathroom. “Why did you leave the door open?”

“He’s outside, talking to his mom on the phone.”

They were again gathered in Richard’s room for dinner and then a few round of FIFA before heading to bed. Richard had ignored Chris for a few long hours after the boy had kissed him but eventually, he had spoken to him because he knew how Chris was and he knew Chris only did that to piss him off. “Tell him to hurry, I’m hungry.”

“You tell him.”

Seeing that Joel was already eating, Richard decided to do same. “Never mind.”

Joel let out a little annoyed sound when some sauce got on his finger and he was about to wipe it in a napkin when Erick took his hand in his and put the finger in to his mouth, slowly licking it clean. Then he whispered into Joel’s ear, “I’m still waiting for that thing I told you about.” Then he licked the finger again.

“Disgusting. You did not just do that,” Richard made a face. “Guys, I’m eating here, please. This is precisely why we have rules.”

“Oh, Richard, come on.” Just so to annoy Richard further, he looked at Joel’s hand that was still in his and licked the finger for a third time.

“Ugh…”

“It’s just his finger, not…” Erick let out a little laugh that vanished when he caught sight of Chris who was turning on his heels and banged the door on his way out.

“What was that?” Zabdiel asked as he exited the bathroom.

“Chris,” Richard stated while Erick said, “I’ll be right back.”

Christopher paused outside Richard’s door and closed his eyes before again opening them and walking towards his room. How stupid could he have been? He had been happy all day, floating on a little cloud, because of how Erick had made him feel. After their little encounter in the bathroom, he had gotten to sit next to Erick on the plane, which was great and even better when Erick had held his hand while everyone was asleep and when Erick had pressed a kiss at the top of his head when the boy thought he was sleeping. However, he could see how meaningless all those were. In a matter of seconds, his mood went from being awesome to shitty and all that because of Erick.

“Chris, wait up,” Erick called after him.

“What do you want?” he turned around and asked angrily.

“What’s all this about?”

“Really? I should be the one asking this question, don’t you think?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Erick frowned and moved closer to him.

“You know exactly what I mean Erick. And don’t,” he said when Erick placed a hand on his shoulder and stepped away.

“Chris, what’s wrong?”

“What’s going on with Joel?”

Erick creased his brows; with Joel? Where was that coming from? “Excuse me?”

“You heard me, what’s with you and Joel?”

“Christopher, he’s my boyfriend. Did you forget?”

“No, how can I when all you keep doing is, remind me?” he spat. “What about me? What am I?”

Okay, that was an unexpected question. Erick swallowed as he tried to find the right answer. “I… huh…”

“I get it. I’m nothing… If Joel is your boyfriend, what were you doing with me all this time?”

“I don’t know… Chris, come on…” Erick again reached out for him but Christopher slapped his hand away.

“What was I? A play-thing, to entertain you when you’re bored?”

“Of course not,” Erick whispered when a housekeeping lady walked by and looked at them weird. “You mean more than that to me.”

“Really?” Christopher grabbed Erick by the wrist and pulled him in the direction of Richard’s room. “Ok, let’s tell Joel everything about us then.”

Erick struggled to pull his hand free but of course, Chris was much stronger than he was. “Chris, stop. We can’t, I can’t.”

Christopher instantly turned around and let go of Erick’s hand. “I knew it.”

“Chris…”

“No, go to your fucking boyfriend and don’t ever come to me again. I’m sick of being wrapped around your little finger. It’s over between us. If ever there was an ‘us’ to you.”

With that, Chris walked away, leaving Erick to stare into the empty hallway as he entered his room and banged the door. Erick sighed; what had just happened? He looked at Richard’s door and shook his head. He did not want to face the others or the million questions that they had. So, he quietly went to his own room. Did Chris mean what he had said? Over? How could it be over when the boy had called him _‘my love’_ in front of everyone? Did he really mess things up? He was not ready to deal with that so, he climbed in bed and closed his eyes.

 


	12. Didn't See That Coming

“What the fuck,” Richard almost shouted when he entered their dressing room; Zabdiel was sitting on the couch, Christopher was straddling his thighs and they were heavily kissing. He was aware of the fact that Christopher liked to cling to them, bite them wherever was within his reach and most recently, even kiss them, himself being a victim of that circumstance but what he was seeing was nothing like those. Plus, there was Christopher’s hand that was vigorously moving in the front of Zabdiel’s track pants.

“What happened?” Joel asked as he and Erick joined Richard. They were following the blonde boy but were still a few feet away from the room when they had heard his voice and had rushed in quickly.

“Hey guys,” Christopher smiled widely after moving away.

“Don’t ‘hey guys’ us. You two better start explaining yourselves,” Richard crossed his arms over his chest and glared at them.

Zabdiel glanced in Chris’ direction and looked at him with pleading eyes. Instantly, he assumed the boy was in no position to answer any question that Richard had and knowing it was Richard, he knew there were plenty of them coming their way. He got up and offered a hand to Zabdiel. “Come on big daddy, it’s too crowded in here.”

Without saying anything else, he led Zabdiel to the toilet that was attached to the dressing room. Also without saying a word, Richard took a seat on the couch, glanced in the direction of the door that had just closed and grabbed the remote before turning on the stereo; locking themselves in the toilet was not going to get them away from the questions that needed answers and sooner or later they would have to come out. Shrugging, Joel took Erick’s hand and led them to the other couch, where they took a seat as well. The three of them stared at the floor, neither of them saying anything, and a weird silence fell into the room, except for Nicky Jam and J Balvin that started playing. They sure were sitting quietly but inside, their brains were working double time as they tried to figure out how Zabdiel and Christopher happened and how they had missed any sign of that happening.

“Not loud enough,” Joel stated and took the remote to turn up the volume when a groan was heard; Zabdiel’s voice.

“I’m… I’m gonna get some air. See you later.”

Like that, Erick exited the dressing room without saying anything else or without waiting for Richard or Joel to answer. At the moment, he was going through a weird and unknown emotional phase and he was not sure he wanted to speak to people or even see anyone. Christopher and Zabdiel? How? When? Why? He may only be seventeen but he was not stupid. So, rewound to a few minutes earlier, he was walking side-by-side with Joel and they were both following Richard to their dressing room. Then they had both heard Richard’s shocked exclamation and had rushed there too. By the time they reached, Christopher was taking a seat on a different couch and Zabdiel was pulling a pillow into his lap; not to mention that the two boys looked flushed and embarrassed. Richard had asked for an explanation and Christopher had taken Zabdiel to the bathroom. It was obvious they were going to have sex because Erick did not fail to notice the condom that Christopher had taken from the coffee table. Sex? And the moan that he had heard before leaving the dressing room did nothing but confirmed his doubts.

How did things happen right under his nose without him noticing? And why did Christopher not say anything about it? Was that the reason why Chris wanted to put an end to things between them? When Christopher had said that five nights and almost five days ago, Erick had thought he was joking and messing with him or maybe he was only upset, like he always was and would come around if he was given his time. So, Erick did give him his time; he had simply gone to his own room and left Chris alone for the whole night and another whole day. Then he wanted to be the one to make the first move and end the tiff or whatever it was that they were having. He had sent Chris a text, followed by another and a few more but all of them were left unanswered; as did the nineteen calls that he had made. That was when he had realised that this time, it was a little bit more serious than he had thought. So, Christopher wanted to tell Joel everything… but why? Were they not fine with how things were? Chris was happy, Joel was happy and he was happy, why could things not stay that way?

Because the least he wanted was to hurt Joel. Why did Chris want to tell Joel if he was with Zabdiel? Had he told Zabdiel about them? Erick was certain he had not because if that was the case, Zabdiel would definitely have told Joel and Joel would have confronted him about it, which never happened. And Erick was back to square one. He was dating Joel, Chris was still mad at him for some unknown reason, Chris and Zabdiel were currently having sex and he felt like throwing up right where he was standing. It was not like he even wanted to but there was only one scene replaying over and over in his head. All he could visualise was: Christopher taking that purple condom packet from the table and offering his other hand to Zabdiel. Erick cursed and pressed his forehead against the wall, where he was standing. He was going crazy in his head and he was certain if that scene played one more time in his head, he was going to explode.

“Are you alright?” Renato asked with a concerned voice as he placed a hand on Erick’s shoulder.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” he replied as he swallowed the lump that had formed at the back of his throat. That was also when he realised he was crushing an empty water bottle out of its shape; no wonder Renato would think something was wrong with him. “I’m fine,” he repeated.

“I’m not so sure about that. You’re coming with me.”

“But…”

“No arguments… you’re coming with me.”

Sighing, he followed Renato and out the window went his plan of avoiding people.

**Meanwhile…**

Richard and Joel both lifted their head at the same time when they heard the door open and they saw Zabdiel and Chris exit the bathroom and walk towards them. Without giving them time, Richard spoke, “start talking.”

Christopher looked at Zabdiel, who was already taking a seat, placed his hands on his hips and looked at the three boys in front of him. “I don’t believe there’s anything left to say,” he shrugged and also exited the dressing room.

First of all, he had said that because he did not have the answers that Richard and Joel wanted to hear and not because he did not care to answer them. How was he going to answer any questions when he, himself, did not know what he was doing? All he knew was that a few nights ago, they were supposed to be having dinner in Richard’s room, followed by a few rounds of FIFA but then he had seen Erick and Joel and things had not gone quite the way they were supposed to. He had told Erick it was over and although he had said it many times before, this time, he meant it. Everything had started because he had thought Erick and Joel were wrong for each other and that he thought he could show that to Erick but he was wrong. Even after everything that he had done, they were still together and it did not look they would break up soon; he had realised that when Erick had refused to tell Joel what had happened between them. Of course, Christopher had not really meant to tell Joel, he had only wanted to see Erick’s reaction and honestly, he had not quite liked what he had seen.

He had thought Erick wanted him, even liked him, but it turned out he was wrong. The games that they were playing only lead to someone, either him or Joel, getting heart-broken since it was a win-win situation for Erick because in the end, he would still have one of them and he was no longer up for that. Christopher sighed; he knew it should not have happened but while doing all those things, something was happening, had happened, to him inside and he was not sure he wanted to venture in that territory. Okay fine, he had realised he was starting to develop some kind of feelings for Erick, feelings that were more than friendly, and honestly, he was uncertain whether or not he liked that fact but all he knew was that it scared him. Hence, telling Erick that it was over and actually meaning it was one of the toughest and most heart-wrenching thing that he had ever done. He had gone to his room after that, had sat on his bed, had stared at the floor for long minutes before a tear had rolled down his cheek and a couple more had followed, until both his cheeks were wet and he was sniffling.

He had spent most part of that night crying for being stupid to think he could make Erick see Joel was wrong for him, for not having been able to control his feelings better, for being in love with Erick and for not being able to have him. He had tried to reason himself that crying was not going to solve anything and every time he would wipe his cheeks, he would think back to Erick and Joel being together and himself being lonely and his tears would fall again. The next day was no better and if it were not for the interview that they had, he would have stayed in bed. He had wanted to be left alone and even if he were surrounded with people all day, he had mostly kept to himself and had barely spoken to anyone. Then came the night and he was finally by himself. Chis sat on the edge of his bed and stared at the clock, his eyes following the second hand as it made a complete turn and the minute hand moved a little; anything was acceptable to keep his mind off Erick. That was how Zabdiel had found him seventeen minutes later: on the bed, as still as a mannequin and his eyes empty.

**Flashback**

“Are you gonna tell me what’s wrong?” Zabdiel asked after a long minute of analysing the boy.

Chris glanced at Zabdiel, who was sitting on the edge of the bed. “Nothing…” he mumbled.

“You may have stayed quiet all day but your silence said everything. I look at you and I can tell something is bothering you because that spark that’s usually on your face is not there. Have you been crying? Your eyes are all puffy and they look like they are filled with sadness. It almost looks like you don’t want to be here.”

Wow, did Zabdiel really notice all those or was he just saying them so as to get things out of him? He had been too busy cursing his luck, or maybe his fate, to realise that he was emitting all those negative vibes. “It’s really nothing. Just your imagination, I guess…”

Zabdiel placed his hand under Christopher’s chin and made him look up. “Look me in the eyes and tell me everything is fine. I’ll believe you.”

Chris stared at Zabdiel’s face but avoided any eye contact; even he knew his eyes would betray the words that had come out of his mouth only seconds earlier. He was aware that he was looking at Zabdiel but all he could see in his head was Erick’s face; it looked like he was in some deeper trouble than he had thought he was. Zabdiel was speaking again but he could barely register the words that were coming out of the boy’s mouth, all he could hear some distant mumbling, although Zabdiel was merely a few inches away. He took a deep breath to snap out of it and without thinking he grabbed the front of Zabdiel’s shirt and pressed their lips together. Okay, he was kissing Zabdiel and that was weird but the weirdest part was that Zabdiel had not pushed him away yet. He pulled back to say he was sorry but he only looked at Zabdiel’s parted lips and everything he had wanted to say vanished and he again kissed Zabdiel. He was waiting for Zabdiel to shove him off but the boy did nothing and Chris only pushed him backward and climbed on top of him.

He had no idea what was happening or why he was doing that but lifting Zabdiel’s shirt higher up on his chest seemed like a good thing to do. His hand on Zabdiel’s bare stomach and the warmth coming from it, they were urging him to explore further. When Zabdiel took hold of the hem of his shirt, pulled it over his head and tossed it aside, Chris let out a gasp; more skin-to-skin contact. What was happening? He had no clue. Why was Zabdiel not pushing him away? He did not know that either. Why did Zabdiel remove his shirt? Did Zabdiel want him? Again, he had no answer. All he knew was that one of Zabdiel’s hand was in his hair and the other one was trailing down his naked back. Then something unexpected happened: Zabdiel had thrust his hips upward. If he was in doubts before, at the moment, he was sure about what he should next. He slid his hand lower and slipped it into Zabdiel’s track pants. Again, Zabdiel surprised him by pushing his own pants down to the middle of his thighs so as to give him more room. Christopher shifted so that he was straddling Zabdiel’s thighs before looking into the boy’s eyes and closing his fingers around his penis.

**End of flashback**

Like he had said; anything was acceptable so as to keep Erick out of his head and Zabdiel seemed just fine at that moment because him and Chris had always understood each other and they had always been on the same wavelength. So, Zabdiel it was. Christopher ran a hand through his hair as he took a seat on the edge of the stage. He had decided to block Erick from his mind and heart and he could only hope he was using the right method. Starting things with Zabdiel happened on a whim and it was actually the fact that everyone else in the band knew that was scary. He dreaded what they were thinking about him, about Zabdiel and about walking in on them. No, why was he having those kind of thoughts? Everyone was fine when Joel and Erick had said they were dating, so technically, they should not have any problem about him and Zabdiel. Damn! Why was his life so complicated? Actually, he was fine and his life was fine.

That was until Erick and Joel had gotten together and then he had started things with Erick; things that had taken a turn that he had never quite anticipated. At first, it was only a friend trying to help another friend but who on earth could control his feelings? Feelings that were only getting stronger and stronger and only kept messing with his head, especially when Joel and Erick were around each other, and sometimes, seeing them together… That was when things started coming his way and seeing Erick with Joel would make it hard for him to breath, it would cause an uneasiness in him that he could not explain and sometimes, he even felt angry and jealous. That was when he realised something was wrong with him because all those unexplained feelings that were going on in his body, were feelings that he had never experienced before and they frightened him. Thus, Zabdiel happened and the only reason he did, was because of Erick and Joel. That was all he knew.

**Somewhere backstage**

Richard kept walking along the corridor with only one thing playing in his head: Christopher and Zabdiel making out on that couch. It had been long minutes, almost an hour, since he had seen that scene but it was still vivid in his mind. Christopher and Zabdiel? How did he not see that? Because usually he was an observant person, who would pay attention to details around himself, but that, that was unexpected. The past couple of months, he had been extra vigilant because he had thought Christopher and Erick were having an affair that they wanted to keep hidden and he was certain he had enough evidences to prove it but it turned out he was wrong. Why would Christopher be with Zabdiel if he supposedly was with Erick? He knew Chris and even if he was as crazy and carefree as he was, he would never try to play double, and the least, with his friends. It was either Zabdiel or Erick and he did not need to think twice to get his answer. Had he been so engrossed in finding out whether Christopher was really having sex with Erick that he had missed the real deal?

Right now, he felt like Zabdiel was right and he was really bad at spying. A good spy would have left his options open whereas he had only concentrated on the one speculation that he had. Anyways, that was not the point. Speaking about Zabdiel, he turned out to be a real snake in the grass. Was that why he was so adamant that nothing was going on between Chris and Erick? Because he was the one with Chris? For weeks, Richard had been going on and on about that probable relationship between Christopher and Erick and right now he just felt like an idiot; all this while Zabdiel knew and he had let Richard make an ass of himself. If Christopher had chosen to avert his questions, Zabdiel would have to answer them, not only the ones about that scene that he had walked in on but also about why he had lied. Richard paused for a moment when he saw Erick with Renato and that was when he remembered the way Erick had left the dressing room. It was almost like the way Christopher had walked away when Erick had said he was dating Joel.

Shit! What did all those mean? Were Chris and Erick really together? But what about Joel and Zabdiel? The only logical thing here would be: Joel and Erick liked each other while Chris and Zabdiel like each other. But that could not explain Christopher and Erick’s reactions. It only pointed towards one thing: they liked each other. So, Richard’s theory was simple: Joel liked Erick, Christopher liked Erick, Erick like Chris and Zabdiel… well, he was not really sure about Zabdiel because Zabdiel was really hard to read. If his theory was correct, things were a lot more complex than they looked like. Heck! What a confused band he was in. He would have to check things out, just to be sure that it was not happening in his head, like Zabdiel had put it so many times.

“Hey, you ok?” he asked as he approached Erick.

“I knew something was wrong with him,” Renato interrupted as Erick was about to speak.

“Yeah fine,” Erick said but it only sounded like he was snapping at Richard. Why would he not be fine? Everything was fine, except for the fact that _‘his’_ Christopher was fucking Zabdiel.

“Woah! I was just asking,” Richard held his hands up in defence.

“Sorry, I’m just tired.”

Tired? Erick was fine earlier when he was going to the dressing room with him and Joel. So, he may have been right to some extent. Erick was upset because of Chris. “I can understand,” he only smiled. “See the good side of things. It’s our last show of this tour. Then welcome to days off and lazy mornings.”

Erick nodded. “Yeah.” Lazy mornings? He was probably not going to get out of bed all day for the next few days.

**Back in the dressing room**

Joel looked at Zabdiel, who was sitting on the other couch and was engrossed in looking at the table. He had thought there never was a secret between him and Zabdiel, then how did Zabdiel not tell him about Chris? Zabdiel was quiet, Chris had gone without saying much, Richard had shrugged and left and Erick had also exited the room without any word and he had a hunch why. Actually, he had his doubts quite a few times but he had always told himself that it was only his imagination and ignored all the signs. The first time that had happened was when they were all sharing that suite and he had gone into the room to find Christopher getting dressed while Erick was in the shower. He had thought something was odd about that, especially with the way Chris was behaving but after that Erick had come out of the bathroom and they had their first kiss and a couple other stuffs had happened. Joel had definitely thought he was unnecessarily doubting Erick and had cast the thought out of his head. Then a couple of days later, they were in the van and he had thought he had heard a loud smooch coming from behind him.

Again, he had chosen to overlook it because Chris and Erick were sitting right behind him and Zabdiel and Richard were behind them; the possibilities of hearing a smooch coming from the back of the van were equal to zero. The next time something like that had happened was when Chris had given Zabdiel that hickey and Erick was so mad about the situation. All he could think about was: Erick liked Chris. He had wanted to ask Erick about it and had almost done it but backed off at the last moment. What if he was wrong? He did not want Erick to think he was doubting him; hence he had stayed quiet. Then a few days ago at the airport Richard had told him he had competition. He might have laughed and brushed it off but deep down he was not so convinced. He knew the look Erick had on his face, the way he was looking down and smiling, it was the same one that he would have when Erick would tell him something and he would look away and smile shyly. Had he been right? Did Erick really like Chris? Then, what about him? Or, was it all his imagination? He only frowned and replayed those questions over and over as he tried to find their answers.

Zabdiel shifted uncomfortably in his seat; Joel was staring at him, he had been for long minutes now, and that only made him feel self-conscious and uneasy. “Joel, say something.”

“Huh?” Joel looked up and realised he was still sitting there with Zabdiel. “Umm… how long has it been going on?” he asked carefully.

“You staring at me? Almost 10 mins…”

“No, I mean, with Chris.”

“Hmm… three days…”

“Ok… do you like Chris?”

“I don’t know… I mean, we haven’t really talked about it.”

Joel got up and dropped himself next to Zabdiel before placing a hand on his knee. “It’s ok. You can talk to me. You know I’ll always have your back, right?”

“Yeah, thanks,” Zabdiel smiled.

 


	13. Find Another One Cause He Belongs To Me

Erick slid lower in his bed as he hugged his pillow tighter to his chest with one hand and bit on the pinkie nail of his other hand. The previous night had come quite as a shock for him, he had to admit, but yes, after the show, he had gotten a long hot bath and then had climbed into bed, where the wheels in his head had started turning again. Chris and Zabdiel? How? Were there signs that he had missed? But how? Other than that hickey incident, nothing else happened, well nothing that he could recall. Was that the beginning of Chris and Zabdiel and the end of Chris and Erick? No, it could not be because Christopher was the one who had made him feel better when he was upset; he had said he was only messing around and even added that Erick was his favourite. Favourite what? Erick still wondered. Favourite person? Favourite friend? Favourite one to mess around with? Because the truth was: theoretically, when someone had a favourite, it meant he was the most-preferred out of everything or everyone else. So, Erick was the most preferred out of whatever, which meant others were part of it too, including Zabdiel.

That, in turn, only pointed towards the fact that he had never been the only one. However, that was only Christopher’s view of the whole situation. As for him, he was not some toy that Chris could play with whenever he wanted and then toss aside when he was bored. He was going to show the other boy that he was so much more worth than that. Erick crossed his arms over his chest, while still holding onto the pillow, as he thought about what his next move would be. He knew he had to show Chris but what and how? He had all day to think and do something; technically, he only had half a day, considering he had already spent half of it lying in bed but that was alright. Half a day should be sufficient to talk to Chris and make him see that he was wrong. Although, Erick was also well aware of the fact that Chris could be stubborn and it would require a lot of effort to convince him but there was also the fact that Chris had a soft spot for him and would easily give in to him. He could only hope for the second option because he was afraid if he took too long while trying to fix things, he would end up losing Chris and whatever they had. Erick shivered at that; that was not a very good thought.

Anyways, first things first, he would have to get the others away so that they would not cause any disturbance to _his plan_. He had thought of something but it could be complicated. So it went: he would text Zabdiel from Joel’s phone and call him downstairs in the restaurant, he would text Joel from Richard’s phone and ask him to meet him downstairs in the lobby and finally, he would text Richard from Zabdiel’s phone and call him on the roof. Then, once everyone was out of the way and busy waiting for someone else, he would have time to see Chris and sort out their differences. It sounded simple but it was actually very tricky; in order to be able to do those, he would have to meet each one of them individually, somehow get their phone without their knowledge and slyly text someone. On second thought, that did not sound like a very good plan because trying to do all that could take all day and even if he managed to pull it off, the amount of time he would get with Chris would be limited because in the end, someone could get tired of waiting and come back. Erick sighed; why could he not come up with an awesome idea? He was certain someone else in his place would have already come up with three or four brilliant ideas.

No, no one would ever find themselves in his situation because only a fool, like himself, would let that happen. He was brought out of his thought when he received a message from Joel, saying he was going out with Zabdiel. A smile instantly formed on his lips; turned out he would have to bother about two people less, which was great. Now, only Richard. All he would have to do was to get Richard busy somewhere and then, Chris would be all his. Erick rolled onto his stomach and tapped his tongue against the roof of his mouth as he thought about it, the new plan. He was humming the tune of One Direction’s _Steal My Girl_ when his phone vibrated next to him. It was a text from Richard saying: _come hang out?_ Richard wanted to see him? That was perfect. Now, all he would have to do was to go and meet Richard and then make an excuse or maybe say that he was tired and knowing Richard, he would not press matters if Erick said that. After that, off to Christopher he would go. How lucky was he? He was simply getting his ways, without even trying to do something.

Pulling his hoodie on, he exited his room and walked to Richard’s room, wasting no time to knock; the sooner he was done there, the sooner he would see Chris. Or that was what he thought because the moment he entered the room, after Richard had let him in, his eyes landed on Chris, who was already sitting at the small table. _‘Not so lucky after all’_ , the voice in his head whispered. Richard joined him and the two of them resumed the round of cards that they had been playing. Sighing, Erick dropped himself on the bed; now he would have to come up with something else. He took his phone, absent-mindedly scrolled through the comments on the photo that he had last posted on Instagram and again hummed to the same tune that he had been humming to as he thought about new ways to win Chris back. He did not know why but he thought that song fitted him perfectly; although no one was trying to steal his girl and Zabdiel was the only one who had already taken his man. His man? Was Chris really his man though? Of course Chris was his man, there was a really simple logic behind that. If they had kissed, had flirted with each other, had attempted to seduce the other and had sexually interacted and gotten intimate with each other, those could only mean they were each other’s man.

“What’s that tune you keep humming to?” Richard asked as he briefly turned to look at him.

“Just a song,” Erick sighed.

“I won, again,” Chris laughed.

“That’s because rummy sucks and I’m sure you’re teaching me wrong. I told you to let’s play poker. It’s more fun.”

“And I told you I don’t know how to play that. Next round?”

“Hey Erick?” Richard again turned to him. “Wanna join in for the next round?”

“Hmm… what are you guys playing?”

“I wanted to play poker because that’s the only one I know how to but Chris only knows how to play rummy. So, we’re playing rummy.”

“I only know how to play solitaire,” Erick shrugged. “And I don’t really like to play cards.”

“So, you in or what?”

“No, you carry on,” he motioned for them to keep going before dropping himself backward on the mattress.

“Distribute the cards, I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” Richard said but as he was getting up, Chris halted him.

“You distribute the cards, I won. Besides, I distributed last turn.”

“Fine. I’ll do it when I come back.” He rolled his eyes, shook his head and sighed as he got up and left to the bathroom.

Erick lifted his head and looked at Chris, wondering if he should take advantage of the situation and use the opportunity. He had decided that in a whole world of words, he was not going to let two little words like _‘it’s over’_ keep them apart; after all, they were only seven tiny letters that he was going to overlook and pretend he had not heard. With that in mind, he got up and walked to where Christopher was sitting.

“Tell me you didn’t mean it,” he said and Chris lifted his head to look at him.

“Mean what?”

“That it’s over. It can’t be over, not like this. Not for some irrelevant matter.”

 _Irrelevant matter?_ Joel was an irrelevant matter? “Excuse me? I meant it and I still mean it.”

“No, you can’t.”

Chris had thought that seeing him and Zabdiel together would make Erick realise that there would be no chance of them being together in the future but it looked like he was wrong. He should have known better; Erick would not give up so easily. “Listen, I don’t know what you mean by ‘you can’t’ because if it is what I’m understanding, then I certainly can.” Having said that, he got up, avoided looking at Erick and made his way to the window.

“Really? Why can’t you look at me then? Because you know I’ll see through your lie.”

“Think what you want, it’s not gonna change the truth.”

“Fine. Look at me, look into my eyes and tell me it’s the end,” Erick uttered sternly as he crossed his arm over his chest.

Christopher sighed; he should have known Erick would be adamant. He took a deep breath, turned around and placed his hands on his hips as he looked straight at Erick. “It’s over and I’d really appreciate it if you stop pestering me.”

Once that had left his mouth, he kept a straight face because he knew if he turned or simply looked away, Erick would not believe anything he had said. Truthfully, he was not even looking at Erick; he was only staring at a distant point past Erick’s left ear but that was not important, not as long as Erick thought he was looking at him, which Chris could not do because if he did, he knew he would get weak. The thing was, he could not lie to Erick while looking into his eyes. However, despite doing that, he was freaking out on the inside, every cell in his body was going crazy and only he knew the amount of courage he was putting to keep that confident face on. ‘where was Richard?’ was the question that kept repeating itself in his head; he knew if the other boy was around, Erick would leave him alone because Erick had said nothing, not until Richard was out of the room. Then the door opened and it was not Richard but Zabdiel and Joel but that was not important. What was important was that he was safe from Erick and Chris let out a sigh of relief as he walked to Zabdiel and, taking his hand, he led them to the couch.

“I thought you went out,” he said as he took a seat next to the boy.

“We did but then it started raining and we had to come back.”

“I’m glad you did,” Chris placed a hand on Zabdiel’s knee and smiled.

Erick looked at the two of them out of the corner of his eyes and held his breath; Chris’ hand was gently rubbing Zabdiel’s thigh and the two of them were smiling. He could not believe it, he simply could not. How could Chris do that, right after Erick had talked to him about them? Was Chris intentionally doing that or was Erick really nothing to him? Well, if Erick did not matter to him, Erick was going to show him that he was not important either. Without wasting any more time, he walked to the bed, where Joel was sitting, pulled Joel’s phone out of his hand and kissed him. Although he was initially surprised by the sudden action, Joel eased into it and cupped the side of Erick’s face to deepen the kiss. In turn, Erick pulled Joel’s hat off before burying his fingers into Joel’s messy locks. Glancing in their direction, Christopher almost rolled his eyes; if Erick wanted to play that game, he was going to show him that two could play at it. When Zabdiel trailed his hand down his back, he intentionally let out a loud gasp and just like he had anticipated, Erick had let out a moan as well.

If Chris wanted to compete with him, then Erick was not going to let him win. He shifted and climbed into Joel’s lap, straddling his thighs, before wrapping both his arms around his neck. On second thought, he realised that was not enough and slowly, he pushed Joel’s jacket off his shoulders and took it off. Soon after, Chris did the same and to take things further, he also removed Zabdiel’s t-shirt, which he tossed to the floor. Then he trailed his mouth to the side of Zabdiel’s neck and bit on the skin there, an action that made Zabdiel let out a gasp. Erick tilted his head to the side to allow Joel to kiss his neck, at the same time he looked in Chris’ direction and raised an eyebrow at the sight. Without thinking, he reached for the buttons of Joel’s shirt but it was only after undoing them that Erick realised Joel was wearing another t-shirt inside. He groaned and pulled the shirts that were tucked in his pants before slipping his hand under them to feel the skin of Joel’s stomach. As expected, Joel let out a whimper when his cold hand made contact with his skin but the boy did not pull away and kept kissing his neck.

Richard leaned against the door frame, crossed his arms over his chest and kept watching the four boys; he had noticed that every time Erick would do something, Chris would try to match up and every time Chris tried something, Erick would take things to the next level. He could not help but wonder what was going on. Officially, Erick and Joel were dating each other while Zabdiel and Chris, they were… he did not know what they were because none of them actually took the time to tell anyone. Assuming Zabdiel and Chris were together, then what the hell was going on in his room? Here was what had happened: he had wanted to pee, had gone to the bathroom and the moment he had closed the door, he had heard talking back in the room. Richard had instantly stopped and had tried to listen because Chris and Erick had not said a word to each other since Erick had come and the moment he was out of there he could hear them. What was it that they could not say in front of him? Had he been right about them secretly being together? Because that would explain a lot of things.

So, he had stayed there and had tried to listen but all he could hear was incoherent mumblings before it went quiet. He concluded they were both sulking on their sides, had eventually gone to use the toilet and when he had opened the bathroom door, he had seen Joel and Erick sitting on the edge of the bed while Zabdiel and Chris were on the couch. Richard had stayed there, as quiet as possible as he tried to figure out what was happening. He shook his head when Erick took Joel’s jacket off and his eyes instantly went to Chris, who also did some undressing of his own. He wondered whether he should stop them or not but then something else caught his attention. At that particular moment, there was only thing going through his head; he was right, he had been right all along. It was the only logical explanation that he could find as to why those two were acting the way they were and trying to make each other jealous. And then something happened and Richard could no longer just stand there; Christopher’s hand was travelling down Zabdiel’s chest and from the looks of it, Richard had the impression it was targeting Zabdiel’s zipper.

“Knock it off.” Richard grabbed both Chris and Zabdiel by the ear, pulled them apart before bumping their heads together. Next he walked to the other two, wrapped an arm around Erick’s waist and pulled him off Joel’s lap before throwing him on the mattress. “Get the hell out of my room, all of you. All, except you,” he pointed to Zabdiel. Once everyone was gone, he crossed his arms over his chest and again turned to Zabdiel.

Zabdiel gulped as he pulled his shirt back on; he knew the look in Richard’s eyes. He had seen it many times before and usually it meant, he was not getting out of there, not until he had heard what Richard had to say. “What?”

“What? Don’t ‘what’ me. What the hell is going on?”

“I don’t know. You tell me.”

“I thought we had established that Erick and Chris are secretly having a thing.”

“We? No, no, no. Not we, you had established. Actually, you were hell bent on proving that they were.”

“And they are or were. Can’t you see the way they act with each other? They’re always trying to get under each other’s skin. They’re always on the edge when the other is around. Tell me you can’t see that.”

“I can’t see that cause there really is nothing to see,” Zabdiel stated.

“Right. You can’t see that because all you can think about is getting naked with Christopher.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Exactly what you understood.”

“You know what? I’ll let you get some rest.”

“This conversation is not over. Don’t you dare leave this room.”

“Watch me.” Like that, Zabdiel walked to the door and closed it behind him, leaving Richard to stare at it.

**Back in Christopher’s room**

Chris let out a sigh as he stepped into the tub and let the hot water engulf his body. What had happened back in Richard’s room? What was he thinking? What was wrong with him? He could not believe he had done that to prove to Erick that he was wrong and that it was indeed over between them. The only thing he was glad about was that Zabdiel and Joel had come there at the right time because he knew if he had stayed alone with Erick for a couple more minutes, he might have gotten weak and given in. He was staring at Erick and telling him that it was over but there was that part of him was screaming at him and shouting that he was in love with Erick and telling him to go and hug Erick. However, it was a good thing that he had chosen to ignore that voice because no more than five minutes after Erick had practically begged him not to end things between them, the boy was making out with Joel on Richard’s bed. What did that prove? He still was nothing. That was it. He could not let himself fall weak again and he would not let Erick make him his plaything again.

He was going to move on; no matter what the little voices in his head would tell him or the tingling feelings he had in his heart, he would just push them aside and ignore them. It was best for everyone, especially for himself and, he had Zabdiel to help him with that. He still did not know what was happening between him and Zabdiel but Zabdiel had not questioned him about it yet and he decided he would only go with the flow, for the time being. Besides, he had noticed that when he was with Zabdiel, he would not think about Erick or his feelings and that for him, was a good thing.

“Chris?”

“In here,” he answered when he heard Zabdiel’s voice.

Zabdiel walked to the bathroom and, resting his elbow against the door frame, he leaned against it. As he rubbed his palm against the back of his head, he smiled at Chris and he bit on the side of his lower lip before pulling his shirt off and dropping it by his foot.

 


	14. Changed

**Five months later**

With the release of the album, countless promo days, interviews and meet-and-greets, they finally had two days off and what was better than a picnic? Of course, everyone was excited because no one had told them about the hike and suddenly, the picnic was not such a great idea, at least, not for all of them.

“I’m tired. My foot can’t take another step.”

“Come on, Erick. Quit being a baby,” Richard laughed as he kept walking.

“’m not being a baby,” he replied on an annoyed tone. “This was supposed to be a picnic and a picnic usually means: eating and having fun, not walking for hours.”

“We’ve only been walking for thirty minutes. Stop whining and take a deep breath. What’s more refreshing than a walk in nature?”

“Staying in my bed all day?”

“Come on. This is fun.”

“Talk for yourself. That’s it. I’m not going further. I’m tired.”

Zabdiel stopped and turned to look at him. “Don’t be silly. We nearly reached, only ten more minutes.”

“I’m not walking. If you want me to go, someone will have to carry.”

“Maybe Chris can give you a ride,” Richard proposed. “Chris, will you?” he turned to Chris and asked.

Actually, he could have proposed anyone’s name but the only reason he did not was because he knew something was wrong between those two. During those five months, they might have acted okay with each other but Richard was not blind and he knew that was not it; no matter what Zabdiel had said, he was still convinced Chris and Erick were having a thing and had a fall out. He could sense the tension between them; whenever they were around each other, there was that weird-awkward-not-so-positive vibe that would settle in the air and honestly, it was starting to annoy him. How could so much tension build up between two people in such a small amount of time? It was so uncomfortable that he was certain it could be felt from outer-space. And because he was not okay with that aura, every now and then, he would try to do something that would make Chris and Erick do something unpredictable or have a laugh together but despite his efforts, nothing had happened. Yeah, but he was Richard and he was not going to give up until things were fixed. Asking Chris to give Erick a ride, it was just another little step in that direction.

“Yeah, sure,” Chris shrugged.

“Great, let’s get going then,” Richard grinned as he started walking again; he knew it. Chris would not have been able to refuse, not in front of Erick’s mom and the other dozen people, who were with them, and that was precisely why he had asked Chris to do it. He did not want to sound like he was boasting but he was proud of himself because that was another step towards his goal.

Christopher paused, allowed Erick to climbed onto his back and then followed Richard. He had wanted to say no and ask someone else to give Erick a ride but there were at least twenty pairs of eyes on him and he had only gulped and agreed. That was the closest that he had been to Erick in five months and he was not sure if he liked it; his hands were holding Erick’s thighs, just above his knees, Erick’s arms were wrapped around his neck and the boy was breathing against his ear. Correction, he did not like it at all. His palms were getting sweaty and the hair at the back of his neck were standing straight. He was regretting it already; he should have asked someone else to do it because the closeness was a little too much for him to deal with. Someone was speaking behind him but Erick’s warm breaths against his skin was too distracting and he was having trouble to concentrate. Everything around him was lost in a distorted sound and all he could hear was how loud his heart was beating in his chest and all he could feel was how Erick’s heartbeat was echoing against his back.

Then he stepped on a rock, twisted his ankle as the rock rolled and fell on the side while Erick was still on his back. “Shit!”

“Ahhh…” Erick whined.

Suddenly, reality became clear and he realised he was on the ground and Erick was cursing him. “Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

“No, I think you did that on purpose because coincidentally, we’ve reached our picnic spot.”

“Shut it and help them,” Zabdiel punched Richard in the arm and walked to the two boys. “You guys ok?”

“Do I look like I’m ok?” Erick snapped and tried to kicked Chris off as the boy was crushing one of his leg under him.

“Ow, ow ow,” Chris winced when he got to his feet and Zabdiel immediately wrapped an arm around his waist to support him.

“Drama queen,” Erick muttered and got to his feet as well.

He dropped himself onto the mat that his mom had just set and glanced at Chris while his mom took his arm to look at it. Zabdiel was pulling Chris’ shoe off and Erick could only roll his eyes. What was that? Joel and Zabdiel were looking at Chris’ arm and he slowly let out a sigh; Joel and Zabdiel were attending Chris while all he had gotten were his mom and Renato, not that he did not want his mom but still… Okay, maybe he was being an unreasonable brat but he did not care. He closed his eyes and cringed when his mom tried to clean the wound he had on his elbow and even though she was being gentle, the silly look that he had on his face did not go away, not until she had put a band-aid on it. Next time he looked at Christopher, Joel was gone and Erick sighed for other reasons. That thing that he had said months ago, he still meant it, except he did not only want to pluck Zabdiel’s eyes out, at times, when Zabdiel and Christopher were looking at each other, just like right now, he also wanted to rip Zabdiel’s penis off.

Yes, he was being an irrational and jealous bitch but again, he did not give a damn. He knew for a fact that things were definitely over between him and Chris because as time went by, the closeness that they used to have had faded away. Still, he could not help those feeling he would get when Zabdiel was around Chris and as much as he could, he would try to stay away from such circumstances, which was not very successful most of the time, considering they had to work together. Despite all that, he had to admit, he missed Chris and he missed the time that they had spent together; with him, Erick had spent some of the most memorable moments in his life, moments that might never come back again. If a year ago someone had told him he could feel that way because of one of his bandmate, he would never have believed it. In fact, even he did not know that a silly kiss in a toilet could have led to the things that he had experienced. Christopher, Erick sighed; only he knew what that name did to him. He looked at the boy and shook his head as Renato knelt in front of him.

“Attention whore,” he mumbled to no one in particular.

“What was that?” Joel asked and took a seat next to him.

“Nothing…” he whispered and Joel only nodded, waiting for him to continue. “Why is everyone bothered with Chris? I’m wounded too. Even I was bleeding,” he held out his arm and showed him his elbow. He was not actually _‘bleeding’_ but droplets of blood did ooze out from where his skin had been perforated.

“He hurt his foot really bad. I don’t think he would be able to stand on it for the next few days.”

“Really?” Erick asked with concern; he might say he hated Christopher sometimes but that did not mean he did not care or cared less about him. Chris was his friend and was still one of the most important person in his life, along with his three other bandmates. “Still, he’s a big boy, he can handle a little pain. I’m youngest here and everyone should be taking care of me more.”

“Ah,” Joel smiled widely. “I see where all that is coming from now. You’re jealous because no one is paying attention to you,” he reached out and tickled his ribs.

“Stop…” Erick laughed, tried to grab his hands and push them away but Joel was quicker and stronger than him and he only ended up laughing harder.

“Finally you’re laughing,” Richard said and took a seat on Erick’s other side. “How’s your arm?”

“It’s ok and I’m fine. I mean, it could have been worse and I had hit my head while falling, lie unconscious in a pool of blood and after rushing me to the hospital, you guys will realise that I’m unfortunately suffering from temporary memory loss.”

“Disturbing scenario,” Richard hit him in the ribs with the back of his hand. “I get it, you’re fine and you haven’t lost your pathetic sense of humour either.”

“Ha ha ha.”

“See, I told you spending some time in nature would do you some good.”

**Meanwhile…**

“Guess who’ll be playing nurse for you for the next couple of days?” Zabdiel, who was still kneeling in front of Christopher, asked with a smile.

“Ooh, sounds exciting.”

“I mean, if you don’t want to, it’s fine… besides, I’m sure you can manage on your own,” Zabdiel added as he tried to keep a straight face.

“No, no, now that you’ve said it, I’m really looking forward to that, seriously,” he also smiled.

“Ok, I’ll just wash my hands and check on Erick and then I’ll be back.”

“Yeah, take your time. It’s not like I’m gonna go anywhere.”

Christopher smiled as Zabdiel walked away and then he directed his eyes to Erick before sighing and guiding his eyes to the ground. Erick, the boy who had turned his life upside down and who still could do it. Honestly, those five months with Zabdiel were nothing compared to the couple of months that he had spent with Erick because even though there had been ups and downs, those had been the best months of his life. Erick, Erick, Erick; Chris sighed at that. Even though he was smiling more and was trying to change his life back to how it was before the _‘Erick episode’_ , only he knew how much effort he was putting in that. The first week had been a nightmare, especially with Erick trying to confront him at every opportunity that he could get, telling him it could not be over; pushing him away once was hard but constantly doing it, it was tearing him apart on the inside. That was when Chris realised if he wanted to move on, he would need a strategy and that was exactly when he had made the rules. Rules, which were not easy to make and he had spent two whole days, away from everyone, cooped up in his bed to finally come up with them.

So they went: rule one, stay away from Erick as much as possible. Rule two, don’t talk to him, unless it was required or Erick was speaking to him. Rule three, don’t look at him, except when talking to him because it would be rude not to look at someone while talking to him. Rule four: avoid any kind of physical contact, no matter what. Rule five: pretend like you don’t care, even if you do. Rule six: be strong, don’t give in to feelings. Rule seven: don’t look at him, it would only bring up new complications. Rule eight: don’t think about him. Rule nine: cast your feelings out of your mind and heart. Rule ten: lastly, try not to break any of the above rules. That was how he had gotten through all those months, by reminding himself of those rules on a daily basis. However, that did not mean his heart did not crave for Erick because it did, irrespective of the fact that Erick was around him or not. What was happening to him was something very basic; it was just like someone wanted something and constantly saw it but could not have it, resulting in that person wanting it even more, that was exactly what he was going through.

Chris again looked at Erick, breaking rules number three and seven because at times, he could not help it and all he wanted to do was to look at Erick, to talk to him for long hours and to hold him in his arms and never let him go again. Of course, those were things that he could not do and they were better off as thoughts only. Erick was shaking his head and grinning and Christopher had to look away; it was times like these that he would forget his resolution and get weak. Actually it was a little more complicated than that and it started five days earlier. Erick had gotten a clean shave and he was looking like that cute and innocent being that everyone wanted to squish and all it made Chris want to do was to go to him and kiss his baby-face. Then five days later, which was that precise moment, he had that stubble that made him turn into that sexy individual and Chris wanted to kiss him for other not-so-innocent reasons. Saying he had move on was true but he did have relapses, at least once or twice daily, and right now, he was definitely having one.

He was fucked up, he knew it because no matter what he did, Erick was the one who still made his heart go boom-boom, regardless of how much time he spent with Zabdiel. He was not going to give up though because he was convinced, like every other thing, if he did not have Erick, he would start losing interest in him and eventually move on, which was his initial plan. In the meantime, he would simply have to go through a rough time of pining and craving and wishing for things that he could not have.

“This looks bad.”

Christopher lifted his head to look at Richard, who was standing in front of him. “Yeah and it’s now that you’re coming to see if I lost a leg or something.”

Richard took a seat next to Chris on the rock and hit him in the arm. “Sorry, I had to take a leak.”

“Take a leak,” Chris raised an eyebrow but smiled at the same time. “What are you a dog? And what? In the open? Like this?”

“Yeah and I’m sure you’ve done it too.”

“Never, that’s gross.”

“Whatever… when you gotta go, you gotta go. Anyways, how did you scrape your knee? You’re wearing jeans.”

“Ripped jeans,” he corrected. “One of the disadvantages of wearing ripped jeans.”

“So, scraped knee, scraped elbow and swollen ankle; that’s really unfortunate.”

“Tell me about it.”

“I think it’s a sprain, a pretty bad one.”

“How would you know?”

Richard shrugged when Chris turned to look at him. “I’ve had a few ones myself.”

“And that makes you an expert?”

“You could say that and the best way to deal with them is to stay off that foot.”

“Thanks but I figured that part already.”

“Insolent, as always.”

Chris laughed. “But that’s how you love me, isn’t that right baby?”

Richard slapped Chris’ hand away, the one that was poking Richard’s cheek with its index. “Don’t call me baby.”

“Why? You know you secretly like it.”

“Fuck you.”

“You’d like that, don’t you?”

“Ugh…” Richard made a face and shook his head. “Not at all, never in a million years, not even if dinosaurs miraculously reappear.”

“Your loss…”

“Next conversation. There’s something that I’ve been meaning to ask you but never really got the chance to…”

“Ask me, baby.”

“Why Zabdiel? I mean, why not Joel? Or Erick?” Richard asked and carefully studied Christopher’s face at the mention of Erick’s name.

“Huh…” Chris frowned as he stared at the ground; that was an unexpected question. He glanced sideways at Richard and saw that the boy’s scrutinizing eyes were on him. Instantly, he realised it was a tricky question; Richard was testing him because he remembered how Richard had his doubts about him and Erick and probably wanted things out of him. Chris recomposed himself and smirked at the boy. “Well, Joel and Erick are together. So, they’re obviously out. And of course, I’d have loved to get with you,” he continued while he kept his eyes on Richard, who was frowning at him. “But… unfortunately, I know you’d not be up for it and that leaves Zabdiel. Zabdiel would never push me away like you would. So, Zabdiel it is. We’re just two lonely guys, who find comfort with each other.”

Richard snorted. “Comfort? You mean, sex. Maybe you should rephrase: we’re just two horny guys, who never miss an opportunity to have sex with each other.”

“Are we?”

“Ugh… just, whatever. And for the record, when you’re lonely, it doesn’t mean you should go and bang your best friend.”

“Ouch, touché… for the record, it’s Zabdiel who bangs me and he’s really good at it.”

“That’s a piece of information that I did not need to know,” he made a face and said.

“I know what all this is about. You’re jealous because you feel left out.”

“Ha! In your dreams.”

“Don’t worry baby, I’ve lots of love to give. I’m sure I can…” he smiled playfully and placed his hand on Richard’s knee.

Richard slapped the hand away. “Did you hit your head when you fell? For the record, when people are bored and lonely, they usually try to occupy themselves by finding a new hobby or by learning something new.”

“Oh, but I am learning something new… Zabdiel’s body.”

“I meant something like, I don’t know… a new language maybe? Anyways, next conversation. Let me see your leg.” Richard knelt in front of him and took the foot.

“Usually when people are in that position, it’s the hand that they take, not the foot.”

“Hey Zabdiel, can you come here for a sec?”

“What’s wrong?” he asked while already making his way to them.

“Can you check if Chris has hit his head somewhere, under that messy pile of hair?”

“Why?”

“He’s talking weird. I’m guessing he did. That’s why he’s delusional.”

“’m not delusional,” he kicked Richard away with the foot that was still in the boy’s hand and winced in pain. “Don’t listen to Richard, he’s just being his annoying self.”

“Nah, you’re confused. Erick is the annoying one.”

“I heard my name. Why are you guys talking about me behind my back?”

“Chris was asking about your elbow,” Richard shrugged.

“It’s fine, just a little scratch. If Chris wanted to know, he could have asked.”

“How’s your elbow?” Chris asked.

“It’s fine, just a little scratch,” he repeated. “How’s your foot?”

“It’s not looking very pretty right now but I’ll live. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to throw you down.”

“It’s alright. I’ll live too,” Erick laughed and Chris joined in.

Richard looked back and forth between the two of them; that was the first time he had seen them genuinely laugh with each other in a long time and he had to admit, it felt nice.

 


	15. A Right Among Wrongs

Erick adjusted the pillows behind him, leaned against them and kept playing his match-three game on his Ipad. He had been at it for more than thirty minutes and simply could not get pass that level. Bobbing his head to the music playing in his earphones, he moved his shoulders from side to side as his fingers kept sliding across the screen; it was a song that he had accidentally come across on Spotify and he was obsessed with it. It had a good uplifting tune to it, causing Erick to have it on repeat, and the song was starting again as he lost the game. Erick was re-starting it for the fourth time when there was a knock on the door and he glanced at his mom, who was folding another one of his shirts and setting it on the other bed because earlier that evening when he had gone to shower, he had emptied his suitcase on the floor since he could not find the shirt that he was looking for.

“I’ll get it,” he sighed as he walked to the door and yanked it open.

Christopher? What was Christopher doing in front of his door at eleven? The boy had gone to the club with Zabdiel, Richard and Joel as it had been a week and his ankle was better again. Why was he back? It was still pretty early. And why was he looking at Erick with that look on his face? His eyes looked both tired and happy and he had that ridiculous grin on. It had been a week since he had had a proper conversation with Chris, since the picnic, and he was not sure why Chris was there at that moment.

“What are you doing here?” he asked when Chris only stayed there, grinning at him.

“Oh, my love,” Chris leaned forward to kiss Erick but ended up losing his balance and would have landed face down on the carpet if Erick had not caught him.

“Who is it?” Daysi asked from further into the room.

“It’s Chris,” Erick replied and kept a hand extended in front of him, in case Chris was going to fall again.

“He’s back?”

“Apparently…” Erick raised an eyebrow at the boy, whose smile had not vanished; he was still not certain as to why Christopher was there. Was he drunk? He surely did not look like himself. Nope, Erick shook his head negatively; that could not be, it was not even that late and Chris could not have gotten drunk already. Or could he?

“Won’t you let me in, Love?”

Yes, he was definitely drunk. “Huh… mom? I’m going to drop Chris to his room. I’ll be back in a minute.”

“Is everything ok?” Daysi asked, already making her way to where Erick was.

“Yeah, yeah… everything is fine.”

She only shook her head when she caught sight of Chris. “Ok, make sure he’s in bed.”

“Yeah, I will.” Erick stepped outside and looked at his mom before she closed the door, then looked at Chris and sighed. “Why do you have to drink so much? Now I have to be your babysitter.”

“Am not drunk,” the boy replied and almost tripped.

“Yeah, right,” Erick rolled his eyes before wrapping his arm around Chris’ waist to support him.

“My baby,” Chris patted Erick’s head.

“I’m not a baby and definitely not yours.”

“But you said so yourself.”

“Babysitter, not baby.”

“Oh… right, that makes me a baby then.”

Erick groaned. “Where’s your key?” The sooner he would get Chris in bed, the sooner he would get back to his room.

“My kiss? On your lips…”

Chris puckered his lips and leaned closer to Erick but Erick only held him at arm distance. “Your key, to open the door.”

“Key? Oh, right here.”

Pulling it out of his hand, Erick opened the door and waited for Christopher to get inside before doing so as well. He looked at the boy, who was looking back at him and wondered why Chris had come back already, why Chris had come to his room and why he was in Chris’ room. When the other boy took one of his hands, he creased his brows and realised it would be best for him to get back to his room. Erick turned on his heels to leave but stopped after a couple of steps; he had told his mom he would get Chris to bed and the least he wanted was for Chris to go and do something stupid and then, his mom would scold him. Reluctantly, he walked back to Chris, who instantly smiled.

“Jacket off,” he said as he pushed Chris’ jacket off his shoulders. “Boot’s off,” he mumbled as he struggled to get them off as well. “To bed now.”

Erick was undressing him? Christopher could only keep smiling at that. When he had left the club, without informing Zabdiel or Joel or Richard, and had gotten into the cab, there was only one thing that he had wanted and that was to hold Erick in his arm and not let go of him. What was happening was precisely that and he knew he had made the right choice by getting back to the hotel; only him and his Erick on the massive hotel bed. “Ok, let’s go to bed.”

“No, not let’s go to bed. You go to bed. I’m going to my room,” Erick pushed him onto the mattress and pulled the blanket over him.

“I can’t sleep with socks on.”

Restraining himself from rolling his eyes, Erick took Chris’ socks off and looked at his face again. “Close your eyes and sleep now.”

He was about to turn away but Christopher held his hand. “You’re the babysitter, I’m the baby. Sing me a song.”

“Right now?”

“I won’t sleep if you don’t sing.”

Erick sighed as he took a seat on the edge of the bed. “Christopher is an annoying boy,” he sang flatly. “He only thinks about himself. Night or day, nothing else matter.”

“That’s not even a song.”

“It is. It’s a song by… I can’t remember the name. And just because you’ve never heard it, doesn’t mean it’s not a song.”

Christopher bit on the side of his lower lip as he stared at Erick but he said nothing. That night was not about arguing or proving a point, it was about being together and Chris knew if he had answered back, Erick would definitely have had something else to say and then it would be a never-ending round of having the best points; sometimes, it was best to concede. Concede? What was he thinking? He did not know, except that Erick was a few inches from him and that was what mattered. Was he drunk? Maybe a little because lots of drink had been circulating during the two hours that he had been in the club. He was only having beers but somehow he was more tipsy than he should have been. His head felt light, it felt like the room was spinning sometimes but there was one thing that was clear and it was the boy who was sitting on the edge of his bed. Erick was actually the reason why he had returned. Back at the club, he had been sitting between Richard and Zabdiel when a little voice in the back of his head had whispered to him to go.

The moment Richard had gotten up to get them more drinks, he had gotten to his feet as well because he had felt like he would regret it if he had not done so. He might have been drunk but he was not completely stupid because he had taken one of their security person with him before getting into the cab and riding back to the hotel, where he had made his way to Erick’s room, which had led to that moment. Chris lifted his eyes to look at Erick and realised Erick was looking at him too. The moment his eyes connected with Erick’s, he felt a wave of happiness go through him and that instantly brought another smile to his lips. A comfortable silence had fallen into the room and slowly, Chris propped himself up before pressing their lips together. It was not even a proper kiss because even though their lips were connected, they only stayed still and pressed against one another as the two boys never broke the eye-contact. That was until Christopher brought a hand up to wrap it around Erick’s neck and pulled the boy with him as he laid back down. Then he took Erick’s upper lip between his and deepened the kiss.

Although he had wanted to get back to his room, Erick did nothing such; he simply stayed in that position and kissed Christopher back. After all, he was helpless because he had missed having Chris’ hands and mouth on him and now that he was getting those, he did not have the heart to push the boy away. Maybe he was making a mistake by kissing Christopher while he was drunk but they were not doing anything wrong, they were only kissing and it was not likely that something would happen afterwards. Besides, nothing wrong had ever happened from kissing someone. At the moment, he was like a famished person, who had been deprived of food, and even though he was kissing Chris, his hunger for the boy’s lips could not be satisfied. Having Christopher on top of him was still one of his favourite things? Wait! On top of him? Pressing his palms flat against Chris’ shoulders, Erick pulled back and stared at Chris. When and how did he get under Chris? Had he been so caught up in the moment that he had not realise when Chris had rolled them over to the other side of the bed and had gotten on top of him?

“My baby,” Chris whispered before pressing a kiss to Erick’s cheek. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too.” Even though that was true, Erick had no idea why he had said it out loud. He looked into Christopher’s eyes as one of his hands travelled to the side of the boy’s face and Erick gently caressed his cheek.

“I’ve missed you more.”

Erick only smiled at that and he lifted his head off the pillow to press a short kiss to the tip of Chris’ nose before resting his head on the pillow again. Still looking into each other’s eyes, Erick’s hand travelled lower and slowly, he undid the buttons of Christopher’s black button-up shirt. His conscience was telling him to push Chris off him and to get out of there but his heart and body were telling him otherwise; he wanted what was happening and there was no way he was turning back now. As Chris shifted to take the shirt off, Erick moved his hands to his belt and at the same slow pace, he unzipped his jeans. He then pushed Chris back on the mattress and, after taking his jeans off, he climbed on top of him. He took his shirt and pyjama pants off before leaning forward and pressing a kiss to the middle of Christopher’s chest. His lips lingered there for a few seconds as he nibbled on that particular spot and then moved to kiss his neck. He was tempted to suck on his skin and mark him but restrained himself and kissed his lips instead because giving Chris a hickey would cause lots of questions to arise.

Smiling against Erick’s lips, Chris wrapped his arms around the boy’s waist to pull him closer so that their hips were pressed together. It had been months since he had had Erick’s body against his and all of a sudden, memories of them together flooded his mind, making him realised how much he had missed the closeness and how much he wanted and needed Erick. Gradually, one of his hand trailed lower and he slipped it inside Erick’s boxers before cupping his ass. When Erick gasped, he grabbed his other ass cheek with his other hand and rocked Erick’s hips against his. Those were the little things that he liked about moments like these; Erick’s lips kissing his, Erick’s body moving against his, his hands grazing Erick’s skin and most importantly, the little noises that would escape Erick’s mouth, every now and then. Christopher let out a hiss when Erick slipped a hand into his underwear and enclosed his cold fingers around his penis; he shut his eyes and cursed as the hand gently stroke him. He knew if he were in his senses, he would never have let these things happen but his brain was only half-functioning and he was simply letting the feelings that he had carefully pushed aside take over.

Chris squeezed Erick’s ass and the boy again gasped. Then he let out a sigh of happiness; after all those months, his wish was finally coming true. He had been craving to be close to Chris but the boy had only pushed him away every time and he was glad he had not gone back to his room earlier. Kissing Chris had always been his favourite thing and since that was he wanted to do, he again claimed the boy’s lips. He was half-sitting-half-lying on top of the boy, with their torso pressed together and his legs on either sides of his hips, one of his hand was squished between their bodies and the other was in Christopher’s hair while Chris was thrusting his hips upwards, right behind his balls. All those were too much to take in, yet, as the temperature was rising, Erick wanted more; he wanted to make up for all the time he had missed having Chris against him and Chris’ hands and mouth on him. He did not even need to ask because seconds later, he felt the tip of the other boy’s finger poking his hole. Propping himself on an elbow, Erick bit on his lower lip and pulled back little to look at Chris’s face.

The other boy’s eyes fluttered open and he looked straight into Erick’s eyes as he slowly breathed through his parted lips and slipped his finger in Erick, who instantly let out a whimper. They had been in a similar situation before, except for the fact that Erick was the one on his back and Chris was between his legs, and just like the first time, Erick could feel butterflies in his tummy as the hair on his skin all stood straight. He was amazed how Chris could make him feel all those things at once and Erick smiled at the boy, who was looking back at him, with that look in his eyes; a look that was so intense, full of passion and sexual desire that it would make Erick’s stomach do somersaults. Letting out a deep breath, he dropped his head on Chris and bit on his shoulder as Christopher kept teasing him. With the way Chris’ finger was moving, Erick knew what would come next. Despite knowing that he should not let matters go further while Christopher was in that state because he would probably start ignoring again once he would sober up, Erick was willing to have sex with him; he loved him that much that he was willing to lose his virginity to him and later be pushed aside.

Christopher frowned and propped himself on his elbow when Erick got off the bed and walked away. “Where are you going?”

“Nowhere,” the boy replied before dropping himself in front of Chris’ bag. “Just looking for something.”

“Hurry up, it’s cold without you…”

“I’ll be right there.”

Without looking at Chris, Erick opened one of the bag and pulled out a condom; it was a good thing he knew Chris well enough to know where the boy kept his things. Then he sighed as he looked at the contents of the bag. They would need some kind of lubricant and he had no idea what he could use. Erick pushed aside some stuffs and creased his brows when his eyes landed on a bottle of lube. Lube? In Chris’ bag? Why would he need that? Zabdiel, of course. How could Erick forget? He hesitated for a couple of seconds, wondering whether or not he should take it before shrugging and taking it. He walked back to the bed, pulled off his boxers and climbed in next to Chris. Looking at the boy, Erick took off the last item of clothing that was covering him as well and then reached for the condom.

“What are you doing?” Chris halted his hand and asked.

“Hmm…” Erick was at a loss for words and simply motioned to his erection.

“No…” Chris shook his head. “That goes on you.”

“Are you sure?” Erick frowned.

“Yeah… positive. I’m used to…”

Erick pressed their lips together and cut him off; he did not need to hear that, not at that moment. “Stop talking,” he whispered.

He pulled back and looked at Chris when the boy took the condom and made him wear it. So he was really the one who would have to do it? Erick wondered if he would be able to do it because with a guy it was different, not that he had ever had sex with a girl either. He closed his eyes and let Christopher pull him in for another kiss. He loved Chris and he trusted the boy; he knew if he was doing something wrong, Chris would help him out. Christopher parted his legs to allow Erick to settle between them and then wrapped it around Erick’s hips. Things were going too fast in Erick’s eyes and before he knew it, Chris had guided his penis into himself. Erick cursed and squeezed his eyes tight as he took a deep breath; that was it, he was finally having sex. He stayed still while his heartrate kept increasing and increasing. He was officially freaking out and he did not even know why because it was not like he was the one bottoming.

“Hey,” Chris placed a hand on his cheek. “Look at me,” he whispered.

Erick slowly opened his eyes and realised he was shivering. “I… I…”

“It’s ok… trust me.”

Erick recomposed himself mentally. Christopher was right; they were only having sex and he could do it. Looking back into Chris’ eyes, he leaned forward, connected their lips and moved his hips slightly. The moment felt surreal and it felt like he was in a dream; Chris was pressed against him, he could feel the warmth coming from his skin, their lips were moving together and sweat was forming on their bodies. Erick pulled back to look at Chris’ face. Ever since things had started happening between them, countless times, he had thought about the moment that they would end up having sex but never once had he imagined it would be like that, under those circumstances; they were no longer _‘together’_ , they barely spoke to each other and Christopher was drunk. Smiling at the boy, who had his eyes closed and lips parted, Erick moved closer and attached his mouth to his jaw. He let his teeth graze Chris’ skin, trailed it to his ear and tugged on his lobe before moving to bit at a spot on the side of his neck, just below his left ear. Christopher only moaned and thrust his hips upwards when Erick sucked hard on his neck.

In a swift motion, he flipped them around and settled on Erick’s hips. He sucked his bottom lip between his teeth, wrapped his fingers around his own penis and rocked his hips faster as Erick ran a hand down his chest and then up and down his thigh. Christopher let out a series of swear words, it was all feeling too much; his head felt light from the alcohol, Erick’s penis was in him, his own hand was jerking himself off, Erick’s hands were caressing his thighs and the intensity with which they were staring into each other’s eyes was doing all sort of things to his body. Letting out a grunt, he dropped himself forward and bit on Erick’s shoulder. Erick had also stopped moving and both boys panted while trying to catch their breath. Without opening his eyes, Erick trailed a hand up Chris’ back and buried it into his hair.

Christopher hummed. “My baby,” he whispered before sliding onto the mattress, next to the boy.

Erick smiled and pushed Chris’ hair out of his forehead before placing a kiss to his cheek. He looked at the boy, whose eyes were already closing, and sat up straight; he should probably get back to his room. He leaned over the edge of the bed to grab his boxers when he realised he had left his keys back in his room and neither did he have his phone. Plus, if he did go back to his room, he would have to knock and wake his mom, considering it was late and she was probably asleep already. Sighing, Erick dropped himself backward on the mattress; he would have to go in the morning. When he felt a warmth next to him again, Chris smiled, shifted closer to him and wrapped an arm around his waist before pressing a kiss to his shoulder.

“I love you,” Chris whispered sleepily.

 


	16. Surrounded By Clouds Of Uncertainty

Erick tapped his tongue against the roof of his mouth and slowly opened his eyes, wincing when the numbness in his arm became more and more prominent from being crushed; even though he was sleeping on his stomach, one of his arm had ended up being under a warm body. Warm body? Then everything came back to him; how he had led Chris to his room, how he had let the boy pull him on the bed, how he had let the boy kiss him and how they had… crap! They had sex. Lifting his head slightly, Erick turned to look at Chris, who was still deep in his sleep, and realised it would be best for him if he would just sneak out of there. As quietly and gently as possible, he wiggled his arm free and threw his legs over the edge of the bed before hoisting himself up. Finally, he grabbed the boxers that he had ignored the previous night, pulled them on and ran a hand through his hair as he again glanced at Chris. Chris looked so peaceful and angel-like and it almost made it impossible to believe that it was the same person, who had been pushing him away and hurting him for months, who was lying there.

However, the truth was the truth and it was as naked as Chris and there was nothing Erick could change about it and that, he was saying after months of trying to change things. Sighing as he wore the rest of his clothes, Erick then walked to the door and would only pretend that none of what had happened had actually happened. He was about to opened the door when something caught his attention; if he wanted to pretend it was all a beautiful image made up by his mind, he would have to eradicate all evidence of anything ever happening. Reluctantly, he walked to the waste basket and picked up the condom that they had used as well as it’s wrapper.

“I’m really sorry,” he whispered as he tossed them out the window.

He knew it was not very pleasant to do that and he would never want to be the one who would come across something like that but at the moment, he really did not have any other choice, other than taking them back to his room, which was out of question. Erick let out a breath, exited Chris’ room and walked back to his own. His mom had let him in after a light knock and he dragged his feet to his bed, onto which he dropped himself. It felt like he was having second thoughts about what had happened but did he really regret it? A small part of him did but otherwise, he was still buzzing from all the excitements. He had sex with Chris, yes, he had sex with Chris. Everything that had been going on between them had been leading to that point, until Chris had decided to put an end to it and to push him away. Erick grabbed his phone and looked at the time; it was slightly past eight and it would take more than a couple of hours before Chris would wake up and before he would realise what had happened. Erick sat up straight in his bed at that. If Chris had ended things between them and had constantly been ignoring him, then why did the night before happen?

“Honey, are you alright?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I was just thinking about something, that’s all. Nothing to worry about,” he smiled.

“How is Chris? Did he get any sleep?”

Erick only hummed and nodded. “He’s still sleeping.”

“Alright. I need a shower and then we can have breakfast.”

“Yup, sounds cool. I’m… huh… I’ll be right here… not going anywhere.”

Daysi raised an eyebrow at him because he was definitely acting weird but she said nothing and left to the bathroom. Erick kept his eyes on her and the moment he heard the door lock, he dropped his head back on his pillow. That was close and because of his stupid behaviour, he would have let things slip and his mom would have known. He shook his head at that; he did not want to think about what would have happened if that had happened. _‘Think positive and happy thoughts’_ , he told himself. Erick let his mind drift to what he would order for breakfast since food, especially dessert, always made him happy, as well as Chris. Talking about Chris, he was in the middle of a big mental debate when his mom had interrupted him. Why did Chris have sex with him the previous night? Why did he have sex with Chris? He knew they were always close and with things that had happened, they did get closer physically as well. What he had not realised was that during that time, his heart had grown fonder of Chris and he had fallen in love. He was in love with Chris.

A tiny smile instantly found its way onto Erick’s lips and there was nothing he did to stop it. He was in love with Chris; how could he not have known that he was? Was that the reason why he never wanted things to end between Chris and him? Erick rolled onto his stomach and hugged a pillow to his chest while that smile never left his features. He was in love and there was nothing that could make him happier, except knowing Chris felt the same maybe. Did Chris love him back? Eventually, Erick’s smile vanished and it was replaced by a frown. That part of his question had not been resolved yet; he knew he did it because he would do anything for the boy but what about Chris, why did he do it? Was he in love with Erick too? A wave of excitement travelled through Erick’s body and made the hair on his skin stand straight. Christopher was in love with him? However, it went away as quickly as it had come as he calmed himself down; he decided he would not jump to any conclusions, not yet, because it would be in everyone’s interest if he would find out first then decide what he would do.

Yeah, he was not going to make the same mistakes that he had made five months ago by trying to keep things going with Chris without knowing how the boy felt about him, not that he knew how he felt about Chris either but that was not the point. He needed to find out about Chris’ feelings and for that he needed a plan; a plan that would not make it look like he was trying hard or anything like that, just a plan, where he would subtly creep into Christopher’s heart and mind. Chris had called him _‘my love’_ once or maybe it was twice; what did those two words mean? Chris always liked to use words of endearment when addressing to people who were close to him but did he mean anything else by calling Erick like that? What about the _‘I love you’_ that he had whispered against Erick’s bare shoulder, right before he had fallen asleep? Was that a friendly statement or did he mean it in the romantic way? _‘Chris, Chris, Christopher,’_ Erick sighed to himself; his best friend, his bandmate. When and how did amorous feelings get in between those? Maybe he needed to take a trip down memory lane.

Erick smiled. The memory was as fresh as if it had happened the previous day and Erick could still remember that afternoon, backstage at a venue, whose name he did not quite remember. Actually it had happened almost eight months ago when he had found himself locked in a toilet stall with Christopher because Zabdiel and Richard were chasing them. As innocent as his action and intentions might have been, he had ended up having his very first kiss with Chris and in his eyes, it was what had led to other things happening between them. That part was clear but what had led to that point? He could vaguely remember an argument that he had had with Christopher or maybe it was the other way around, he was not sure but they had not been talking for days, until Chris had apologised for being stubborn or maybe it was for over-reacting. Erick’s eyes widened when it hit him; Joel and him had announced to the band that they were dating and Chris had not taken the news very well. Technically, everything started with Joel and they were all leading to the same conclusion. Was he jealous? Did he act that way because he was already in love with Erick?

No, no, no… he should not venture down that path because he was not yet convinced whether Chris loved him or not. Then a second realisation hit him; he was still dating Joel. Why was he dating Joel if he was in love with Christopher? Nope, he did not have that answer and all he knew was that Joel was sweet, caring, affectionate and fun to be around. Exactly, Joel was all those and more importantly, one of his best friend. Erick could not keep him in the dark, not anymore.

“Honey, are you alright?” Daysi asked as she shook his knee.

“Huh? Yeah, what...”

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Why?”

“You looked lost and confused and you just keep making those funny faces.”

“No, no. I’m fine. I was just thinking about something. Nothing to worry about,” he smiled reassuringly although he knew the one who would have to worry was him. “What were you saying?”

“I was asking what you wanted me to order for breakfast.”

“Hmm… I don’t know. I’ll have whatever you’re having.”

Once his mom had stepped away to order their food, he jumped back on that train of thoughts that had been occupying his mind; talking to Joel and finding out about Chris’ feelings. Looking at how his life was, Erick could not help but wonder how things would have been if he had not kissed Chris that day or if he had not said yes to Joel. Would things have been different? Of course, they would but would his life have been better, simpler and easier? Wait a minute! Were those signs of regrets? No, they could not because he most certainly did not feel sorry for what happened with Chris, nor with Joel. It felt like he was stuck in a carousel of emotions, which kept spinning faster and faster, and there was no way out. Why was his life always so complicated? Erick hugged the pillow tighter to his chest and let out a sigh. He did not know which situation would come first but they were both as equally important and they both frightened him.

**Later that day**

Richard grabbed a pillow, hit Chris a couple of times on the head and leaned closer to him before saying loudly, “wake up!”

Grunting, Chris took the pillow that he had been hit with and covered his head as he kept sleeping.

Richard shook his head at the action, which was so typical; he had seen that so many times before that he knew Christopher would tell him to _‘fuck off’_ if he tried to pull the pillow away. Nevertheless, he took the pillow and tossed it to the other side of the bed while snickering at the same time.

“Fuck off,” Chris groaned and pulled his blanket over his head.

“Wake up, sleepy head,” Richard laughed before dropping himself on the bed.

“What are you doing here? It’s early. Go, annoy someone else,” Chris mumbled.

“But it’s you I wanna annoy.”

“Why can’t you just let him sleep?” Zabdiel asked.

“Did you follow me all the way to Chris’ room to ask me to let him sleep?” Richard frowned at the boy, who was sitting on a chair and had his phone in his hands.

“Maybe… who knows?”

“You know what? I just gonna ignore you. Why am I even telling you this? You already knew I was gonna ignore you. Chris, wake up.”

“Whaaaattt?” the boy whined.

“I knew you weren’t sleeping.”

“Obviously he wouldn’t be sleeping. You woke him up, dumbass.”

Chris lifted his head to look at Richard and then at Zabdiel before dropping it back onto the pillow. Richard was in his room and so was Zabdiel but Erick was nowhere to be seen. Had he left already? Had Erick even been in his room the previous night or had he imagined? No, it could not a part of his imagination because he was naked; why else would he be naked? He had a vague memory of getting into a cab and riding back to the hotel, where he had knocked on somebody’s door, Erick’s door. They had walked back to his room and the indistinct images in his head were indicating that they had s… _‘No, that could not have happened,’_ Chris bit his lips at the thought. Could it? No, he had moved on and he would not have let such a thing happen, not even if he was drunk, and he was pretty sure Erick would not have been up for it either. Still, his mind could not be playing such a trick on him. Again lifting his head, Christopher looked around the room for any signs of the previous night’s episode; his jacket was on the desk, his clothes were on the back of the chair and there were no signs of Erick or him being in this room, as if all evidences had been wiped from the scene.

Chris let his head fall back on the pillow and sighed. Evidence wiped? What was it, a crime scene? It was not a crime scene but there were things that did not fall into place. For example, if he had returned to this room by himself, after undressing, he would have tossed his clothes on the floor, by his opened suitcase but his clothes were hanging on the back of the chair; drunk or not, he would never do that. Also, he would have stripped to his boxers but right now, he was completely naked. That could only mean that Erick had actually been in his room. The real question was: how long had he stayed? Was Chris right? Did they have sex? It had to be because his brain had never played such a dirty trick on him before. Although… he might also be wrong. If Erick had spent the night with him, Chris would have expected to see clothes scattered on the floor and Erick sleeping beside him when he would wake up but that was not the case; Richard and Zabdiel were the ones there. Something was definitely fishy.

“It has to be,” he whispered.

“What has to be?” Richard asked from beside him.

“What happened last night?” Chris asked instead, his voice still groggy from being abruptly awaken.

“Yeah what happened last night?” Richard turned to look at him and knocked him on the forehead with his curled fingers.

“Oww…” he rubbed at the spot while frowning. “What was that for?”

“What was that for? You dare ask me what that was for? That was for leaving without informing anyone last night.”

“Oh… I huh… I didn’t want to bother you guys.”

“Bother us? You had us worried. We’ve spent a good half hour looking for you. Damn you, you could have said something if you wanted to come back.”

“I’m sorry… it’s just that I wasn’t feeling too good and I didn’t want you guys to come back because of me,” he shrugged apologetically before shifting closer to Richard and hugging him. “How did I get so drunk? I mean, I was only having beers.”

“Fuck! You really did it, didn’t you?” Zabdiel stared at Richard, who tried to look unimpressed.

Instead, he pulled the blanket over himself and folded his arms under his head. “What? What are you talking about?”

“Don’t give me that shit. I know you did. How could you? You promised you wouldn’t.”

“Still don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“What’s going on?” Chris interrupted.

Zabdiel looked at Chris, wondering what to tell him. “Richard told me he would spike your drink but I made him promise not to.” Then he again turned to Richard. “You promised. Why did you do it?”

“It’s not my fault if you didn’t see that I crossed my fingers,” he raised his eyebrows in an apologetic way but it did not look very convincing at all.

“And you call yourself a friend?”

“Yep and a very good one,” Richard stated.

“Shame on you, you filthy…” Zabdiel paused for a couple of seconds as he tried to find the right words before adding, “you filthy little rat.”

Chris let out a little sleepy laugh. “Little rat? I still love you, even if you’re a filthy little rat,” he mumbled and hugged Richard tighter since the boy’s expression had changed after Zabdiel’s words.

“You know just what to say, don’t you?” Richard shook his head as the corners of his mouth tugged upward.

“Why did you mix my drink?”

“Because… I don’t know. You’ve been acting unlike yourself lately and I thought it was a good idea to get you to loosen up.”

To get him to loosen up? Well, Richard had done a good job because Chris had let his guards down to the extent of not really remembering what he had done. “What’s that supposed to mean? Unlike myself? Get me to loosen up?”

“I think it’s pretty clear what I mean.”

“Ugh… I have this pounding in my head and it’s all your fault. You owe me.”

“No, you owe me.”

“Huh…” Chris frowned. “Really?”

“You look like you had fun last night, so… you owe me.” Richard kept his eyes on Christopher; with all the tension that there were between Chris and Erick, he had hoped that a little alcohol would give Chris the boost that he needed to approach Erick and clear all their differences. That was also why he had gone to Chris’ room, so as to find out if his plan had worked. The first thing that he had done once entering the room was to check for any unusual signs but everything seemed to be in order; nothing was scattered on the floor, there were no signs of argument and Chris was still soundly sleeping. He feared that it was another failure from his side but he had to confirm it first.

“Are you kidding?” Christopher asked. Fun? He did not even remember most of what had happened and he felt like it was probably the most important part that he was missing. How could he remember everything that happened, except for the part where he had reached his room? It was like someone had tampered with that piece of memory. He had a strong feeling that Erick was there but he was not certain of anything and there was no way he was going to ask Erick about it. “I can barely remember anything.”

“So… no one came with you last night?” Not even Erick?

“As far as I remember, no.”

“I thought you said you can’t remember. Can you or can’t you remember? Make up your mind, man.”

“Richard, leave him alone. He has a headache,” Zabdiel sighed.

“Why are you poking your nose in this when Chris didn’t say anything? Why? Is he your property? Is he your boyfriend?”

Chris and Zabdiel instantly looked at each other and Chris could not help but wonder what Zabdiel was to him. They never asked each other out or really talked about what there was between them; usually, it was just about the sex.

“Why don’t you mind your own business?” Zabdiel retorted.

“Fly buzzing,” Richard snickered.

“What?” both Zabdiel and Christopher questioned.

“Nothing… I was just mumbling to myself. Just a habit.”

“It’s a bad one, get rid of it.”

“Good or bad, it’s mine, so, why don’t you mind _your own_ business?” Richard snapped back.

“I will when you will.”

Richard was about to answer him but then he heard light snores coming from beside him and he realised Chris had dozed off against his shoulder. Smiling, he reached out to slap Chris’ ass but froze when his palm connected with bare skin. “What the hell?”

“What?” Chris groaned.

“You’ve been hugging me all this time while you were naked?”

Chris smiled and hugged him tighter.

“Get away, you jerk. Unacceptable, completely unacceptable. How could you?”

“Stop being dramatic,” Zabdiel called.

“I’m not being dramatic. Put yourself in my place and you’d know how it feels.”

“For one, I know that it feels good and I wouldn’t mind being in your place.”

“Come here, Zabdi,” Chris patted his other side.

“I’m outta here. Get your ass out of bed.”

“You just love annoying him, don’t you?” Zabdiel laughed from his spot and asked when Richard closed the door. “I’m going to see what Erick and Joel are up to. Get up.”

 _Erick,_ Chris sighed at the mention of that name; he no longer knew whether that name made him happy or anxious. He rolled onto his back, pushed the blanket down his chest and extended his arms on his sides before letting out a long and slow breath. As much as he loved Erick and had wanted to have sex with him, at that particular moment, he only hoped that it had not happened the previous night and that it was indeed his mind playing tricks on him.

 


	17. Righting All, Or At Least Trying To

Erick looked at Joel, who was sitting on a chair, not far from where he was himself, and bit his lips. He had spent two days trying to gather up his courage to speak to Joel about them and about Chris but every time he would say _‘yes, I will do it this time’_ and would walk to Joel, once in front of him, he would lose all of his vocal abilities and his body would simply go numb. The truth was, he was scared; scared of how he would say things, scared of how Joel would take things, scared of how Joel would react, scared of what Joel would do, scared of how Joel would act with him afterwards and scared of ruining their friendship. He was screwed and he knew that. During those past two days, every now and then, from time to time when he was frustrated, he would regret dating Joel and wished he had never said yes to him because his life had reached a high complexity level with that one word; also, that way there would have been no chance of him losing his best friend, or should he say friends because things were pretty messed up with Christopher as well.

Well, he did not regret the whole part, not the good memories or the amazing time that they had spent together because there was no way he was ever going to forget any of those, but he did lament the part where they were dating, only that part. Other than that, he loved Joel’s company and the boy always made sure to do the little things that would make Erick smile. If Joel was to ask him again, he would definitely say yes. Did he make sense? He was not sure and because of all that, his mom was definitely convinced something was wrong with him, judging by all those unpredictable mood swings that he had been having; she had even asked him if he wanted to see a doctor. Anyways, that was not the most important thing at the moment and he decided to concentrate on the task that he had at hand. Erick let out a low breath and Joel lifted his head to look at him before smiling. That smile; it made his heart melt and at the same time, the little ball of guilt that he had in the middle of his chest grew a little more. He was right, it was not fair and Joel most certainly did not deserve to be treated that way.

He wanted to tell Joel but what should he say? How should he start that conversation? Was he supposed to go straight to the point or should he ease Joel into it? What was the easiest approach, if there were any? What was the less hurtful way of saying everything? Erick was brought out of his thoughts when the mattress dipped beside him and Joel took his hand in his. He looked up at the boy and felt a twist in his stomach; Joel was smiling at him and instead of smiling back, Erick only stayed still as a little frown found its way to his forehead. Then Joel placed his palm against his chest and pressed his lips to his while pushing Erick backward. Although he was kissing Joel back, all Erick wanted to do was to tell him to ‘stop because this is not right’ but it seemed like he was frozen. The moment his back hit the mattress, Joel shifted closer and trailed his hand lower, to Erick’s stomach. Despite himself, Erick could not help the gasp that escaped his lips when Joel slipped the hand under his tee and it made contact with his bare skin. He had intended to tell Joel the truth but it looked like the situation had turned upside down and things were drifting away from his aim.

“Wait,” he let out against Joel’s lips.

“What happened?” Joel whispered without pulling away and then pressed another kiss to Erick’s lips.

“Jo… wait. I need… need to talk to you.”

“It can wait,” he mumbled as he pushed Erick’s shirt up, exposing his chest.

Without wasting time, he directed his mouth to Erick’s stomach and left a few kisses to his skin. Although talking to Joel was his priority, Erick could not help the gasp that escaped his parted lips when Joel’s feather-like kisses turned into wet smooches nor did he hesitate before propping himself up to allow Joel to take off his shirt. Joel smiled and again shifting, he attached his mouth to the side of Erick’s jaw, where he pressed a kiss. He let his teeth graze Erick’s stubble before sucking on the same spot while his hand made his way to the elastic of Erick’s sweatpants.

“Wait,” Erick again mumbled as he held Joel’s hand.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing… I just… I really need to talk to you,” he said and creased his brows; he wondered what he would say now that he had Joel’s attention. “It’s really important,” Erick added before Joel could push the subject aside again.

“What is it?” Joel straightened himself and caressed Erick’s cheek with the back of his fingers.

“It’s about us…”

“About us, okay,” Joel smiled.

“And… and about Chris,” Erick said carefully as he kept his eyes on Joel’s face.

“And about Chris,” Joel repeated and this time, the frown was on his features. Why Chris? He failed to understand. “Chris?” he mumbled on a more questioning tone.

“Ss-something happened… between me and Chris,” he let out in a barely audible voice but he was certain Joel had heard him because the boy was merely a few inches away from him.

Joel stared at him blankly; had Erick said what he thought he had heard him say? “What?”

“Something happened between me and Chris.”

 _‘Something happened between me and Chris,’_ those words echoed in his head as Joel only stared absent-mindedly ahead. Chris and Erick? How did that happen? He knew he had doubts at times but looking at Erick had always made them vanish. Joel got up, walked to the chair that he had previously been sitting on and then turned to face Erick again. “What thing?” he asked quietly, not really sure if he wanted to know the answer.

“Huh, we…” Erick started but trailed off; he was confused as to what he should say or to what extent should he elaborate on things, without ending up being too hurtful to Joel. “We got close to each other and did things… on a few occasions.”

“Close? Things?”

“Sexual things,” he almost whispered.

“Sexual things,” Joel also said and nodded. “You and Chris got close and did sexual things? Did you have sex with him?”

“Yes, a few days ago,” Erick stated and felt guilty the moment those words went past his lips but at the same time, a wave of excitement ran through his body.

Joel hummed and nodded but said nothing; he looked pensive but more than that, he looked disappointed and hurt. Other than staring at the carpet, he did nothing and stayed frozen on his spot. Erick wanted him to move, to react, to talk, to shout at him even but not a sound came from the boy. The lump that was forming in Erick’s throat grew bigger and he wondered if telling Joel was a good idea after all.

“Joel, say something.”

“How long has it been going on?”

“A few days after we started dating.”

“Why? Why did you do this?”

“I don’t know… it just happened. We didn’t mean to…”

“Didn’t mean to? Did I deserve it?” Joel turned and glared at Erick.

“No but… I never meant to hurt you… it’s just… I love Chris…”

“Stop, stop talking.”

“I’m sorry, really,” Erick muttered.

“If you love Chris, why did you do this to me? Why did you keep me in the dark? It never occurred to you that you’re playing with me and my feelings? You never stopped to think about how I’d feel about all this? Or that I love you and you’re just messing with my feelings?”

“Joel,” Erick whispered.

“Enough,” he shouted.

Joel grabbed the lamp that was on the nightstand and threw it against the foot of the bed. At the sound of it crashing and glass shattering, Erick jolted. He sat up straight in his bed and clutched the front of his shirt as a droplet of sweat rolled down the side of his face. The room was plunged into darkness but he could make out the figure of his mom sleeping on the other bed. There was no Joel in view and he realised it was all a dream, a nightmare rather. Erick reached for the bottle of water that was on the side table and took a few gulps as he thought about that not-so-nice vision that he had just had. Was that how Joel would actually react? That thought scared him. Joel was normally a calm person but in this situation, he did not know what to expect. There were two possible outcomes: one where Joel would tell him that he understood why he did what he did and a second one where Joel would be mad at him, would scream at him and would never want to see his face again. Unconsciously, he crunched the bottle while his mind was replaying that dream.

“Erick? Are you alright, honey?” Daysi asked as she turned on the light and walked to his bed

“Huh? Yeah. It was a bad dream, I’m fine.,” he smiled lightly.

Taking a seat on the edge of his bed, Daysi took the bottle from his hand, set it back on the nightstand and then patted his head. “Nightmares don’t come true,” she smiled and straightened Erick’s creased brows with her fingers before blowing over his head. “Now close your eyes and sleep. Sandman will bring you nice dreams.”

Erick knew his mom was going to say that because she had been saying it to him since he was five and even though he was almost an adult, she would still say it to him. Nonetheless, Erick could not help but smile as he lay back down and pulled the blanket over his shoulder. “Goodnight mom.”

“Goodnight.”

As the lights went off and he closed his eyes, he kept repeating _‘it’s just a dream’_ in his head; although he could not help the apprehension that went through him. He could only hope for the best.

**Two days later**

“Why the roof?” Zabdiel asked after Erick had pressed the elevator button to the top floor.

Why the roof? That was a good question. Why was he going to the roof when everyone else was going back to their respective hotel room? “Me and Chris are going to hang out there.”

Chris turned his head to the side and stared at Erick; it was a deer caught in the headlight moment, where he was the deer and Erick was the headlight. He was clearly confused because he had no clue that he was supposed to go to the roof with Erick. Had Erick mentioned it and he was not paying attention? No, he could not and would not have been that distraught. “Yeah, we are,” he replies as casually as he could. “He asked me earlier.”

Richard looked at Erick and then at Chris out of the corner of his eyes and smiled inwardly. When did that happen? When did those two start talking again? And how had he not notice anything? Did that have anything to do about that stunt that he had pulled a few days ago at the club? Had Erick indeed been in Chris’ room, just like he had doubts? Richard had noticed something different since that day but Chris was not letting anything out; all the boy kept saying was that he was too drunk to remember what happened. As for Erick, he was not drunk and if something had happened between him and Chris, he would definitely remember it. The only problem was that Richard did not know how to approach him and ask him about the matter. He was not sure about anything but he was glad though and hopefully, the wall that had been built between them would soon crumble and things would be like before again.

However, it was then that Richard raised an eyebrow; was he jumping to conclusions too soon? Chris was frowning at his shoes and was occasionally glancing in Erick’s direction. Why did he have the impression that Chris was clueless about that situation? Or maybe it was Chris’ behaviour that was letting that out. Or maybe he was being too inquisitive because it did not look like anyone else had noticed anything. Before he had time to speak, the elevator had stopped and Zabdiel was dragging him out. All he could do was protest but it was all falling to Zabdiel’s deaf ears.

Erick tapped his foot gently against the floor as the elevator door closed and it started moving again. After that dream that he had had, he was emotionally and mentally not ready to confront Joel yet and he assumed talking to Chris would be a good start. However, only a few seconds had passed where there was only the two of them alone and Erick was already having second thoughts; Chris was quiet and staring at the floor while sucking on his lower lip but it was too late for him to back out, especially since he had already announced it in front of everyone. Maybe talking to Chris was not such a good plan. What had been going through his head when he had said that? He had no idea what to tell the boy or how to even start the conversation.

“Do you intend to get out?”

Erick lifted his head and realised the elevator had stopped and Chris had already stepped out. “I’m coming,” he smiled, tripped on his own foot and would have landed on his face if Chris had not been standing in front of him.

Chris looked down at Erick, who had landed in his arms, and instinctively, he placed hands on his waist to steady him. “Careful.”

All of a sudden, his heart started thumping against his ribcage and being in such close proximity to Chris, Erick was certain Christopher could feel it as well. Slowly, he trailed his eyes upward to look into Chris’s eyes and then directed them to Chris’ lips. He wanted and felt tempted to close the gap between them and to press their lips together but instead, he just kept staring at them; they looked so inviting, like a dessert that was begging to be eaten, especially after Chris had licked them. Then, as the seconds passed and as Chris made no move to pull away, Erick slowly leaned closer but before he could kiss Chris, the boy cleared his throat and eventually pulled away. Erick balled his hands into fists and cursed as Chris walked away from him. He hoped he had not messed up already, not before even trying to fix things.

“Chris…”

“Yeah, so you wanted to hang out? Out here? Why here? Why not back in my room or yours?”

 _‘So I can push you off the railing if you don’t love me back,’_ Erick mentally told himself and laughed. It was a little inside joke because he felt like he needed to loosen up, considering how much he was freaking out on the inside.

“What are you laughing at?”

“Nothing… we need to talk and I think you know that already.”

“There’s nothing to talk about, Erick, and I think you know that already.”

“Actually, there is.” Erick looked at Chris before continuing, “we need to talk about us.”

Chris scoffed. “We can only talk about us if there’s an _‘us’_ but there’s no _‘us’_.”

“What about what happened between us? What about that?”

“It was a mistake and it should never have happened. You’re with Joel and I should never have let anything happen. I was stupid and selfish.”

Mistake? Stupid? Selfish? But what about the other night? Was that a drunken mistake? He wanted to ask that out loud but his eyes were already stinging from Chris’ words and even though his mouth was open, no sound came out. It was a mistake to go out there to talk to Chris. He should never have wanted to find out the truth because he would rather still be ignorant than having to hear those bitter words; at least, he would have satisfied himself with those three words that Chris had whispered to him, even if they were not true.

When Erick stayed silent, Chris spoke again. “You’re dating Joel and it would be best for everyone if you stop speculating about us because that is never gonna happen. Like I said, it was a mistake. I was looking for the wrong kind of adventure with the wrong person.”

Erick walked to the railing and clutched it tightly. “So, I was nothing but an adventure to you? I was just a meaningless fling?”

“Yes,” Chris said as he closed his eyes; as much as it hurt him to say, he knew it was the right thing to do. Although all he wanted to do at that very moment was to march to Erick, hold him in his arms and tell him how much he loved him, he did nothing but stand still. Erick and Joel were together, they were still together after months of him trying to get Erick’s attention and separate them; that showed how much those two loved each other, which was why all of his efforts were in vain. No matter how much he loved Erick, he knew he did not stand a chance and Erick had proven that that night when Chris had asked him to choose between him and Joel. Besides, he did not want to be the one who would get between two people and break a relationship, not anymore, even if that was his initial plan.

There was a long pause and Erick decided to break the silence; irrespective of what the outcome would be, he knew it was the right time to tell Chris about his feelings. “I know what I’m going to say may sound weird but I have to say it. When I started dating Joel, I don’t know why I said yes but I did. I had no idea how you guys would react to it or if it was the right thing to do. Actually, I don’t think I really thought it through… I mean, maybe if it was someone else, I would have said no but you know that me and Joel, we get along really well. That’s why I thought it would not be so bad between us and that it would be like a fun experience. Trust me, at that time, I had no clue you and I, me and you, you know… kissing you, touching you and doing things with you, even if they were wrong, I wanted more. I could never get enough of you because when I was with you, everything felt right,” Erick sighed. Chris was silent; he wanted to turn around and look at the boy but he was scared to do so, scared to look into Chris eyes and see disappointment or anger.

Taking a deep breath, he decided to keep talking. “Joel was my boyfriend but with him, things were different because with you, I did things that I never thought I could or would do in my life. I know it was not fair to either of you but I was confused. I didn’t want to hurt Joel and I didn’t want things to end between us either. Call me selfish or whatever but I did what I felt was right. But then you ended things with me and honestly, it was the hardest thing that I have ever been through. I tried everything to get your attention back but you kept pushing me away, all the time. Then there was Zabdiel; at times, I felt like you were doing it intentionally to hurt me or something. I was so frustrated, every time I would see the two of you together. It had taken me a while but I realise that I love you, only you. And the other night you said something… you said that you love me. I mean… you were quite drunk but it did raise a few questions in my mind. Did you mean it?” Erick waited for a few second and then frowned. “Chris?” it was only after he turned around that he realised he was standing there, alone, and had probably been talking to no one as well. That was splendid. Sighing again, he walked back to the elevator.

 


	18. What He Doesn't Know Won't Hurt Him, Right?

“Hey, what’s up?” Zabdiel asked when Chris opened the door.

Without answering him, Christopher walked back into the room and took a seat on the edge of the bed. He looked at the boy, who had followed him and patted the mattress beside him. “Have a seat.”

“What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong? Nothing?”

“Really?” Zabdiel raised an eyebrow and, placing his fingers under Chris’ chin, he made the boy look at him. “Nothing is wrong with you? What was that text about?” Zabdiel pulled his phone from the pocket of his jeans, went to the message that Christopher had sent him and read it. “Here it goes: _‘I need to tell you something. Come to my room’_. Then I asked if it was urgent and you replied, _‘yes’_. What was that? No _‘hey’_ or _‘hello’_? No laughing emoji, or geek emoji, or poking tongue emoji? Because most of the time that’s how you end your texts. Just straight to point? Now, don’t tell me nothing is wrong with you.”

What? Just because he did not add emojis to his text, that meant something was wrong with him? Zabdiel was being irrational. Okay, maybe he had been a little caught up in his thoughts when he had reached his room and that was the reason why he had not really paid any particular attention to the text that he had sent Zabdiel. It was nothing more than that and Zabdiel was clearly over-seeing things. _‘So, I was nothing but an adventure to you? I was just a meaningless fling?’_ Erick’s words still rang in his head. That was the only thing that he had been thinking about when he had quietly turned around and walked back to the elevator. Answering those two questions had been tough and he knew he would not be able to lie further if Erick had questioned him more and he already knew Erick would. That was why he had left. Then he realised one more thing; he needed to talk to Zabdiel and figure things out.

“Chris?”

“What?”

“Now you’re worrying me. Weren’t supposed to be hanging out with Erick?”

“Yeah… change of plan.”

Change of plan? Did something go wrong there? Because less than thirty minutes had passed since they all were in the elevator together. “What happened? It’s like you went up there and then came downstairs right away. We didn’t even have time to do anything.”

“We? Did you have plans?”

“Not really… I was going to watch a movie with Joel,” Zabdiel shrugged.

Chris instantly felt guilty. “You know what? Just go. We’ll talk another time. I’m sorry I ruined your movie.”

Zabdiel slapped him playfully across the head. “Are you crazy? You are more important than anything else, especially when you’re depressed. Now, tell me.”

“What’s going on with us?”

“Wait, wait, wait! You said you have something to tell me but it sounds like you’re asking me for answers.”

Christopher glared at him. “I’m being serious.”

“Ok, sorry. Take two. Start again.”

“What’s going on with us?”

“Uh… nothing, I mean, as far as I recall, we didn’t have any arguments.”

“Zabdiel,” Chris sighed.

“What? I’m being serious, like you asked me to.”

“I meant, between us. Things have been happening between us and I think it’s about time we talk about it.”

Zabdiel took a deep breath. “Ok, let’s talk about it.” He had no idea what he would say about it because honestly, he still did not understand how and what started things between them but if Chris wanted to talk, he would talk.

“When I kissed you that day, I was going through something really weird. I wasn’t thinking and I just did it and you didn’t push me away either. I know what I’m saying is crazy but then one thing led to another and before we knew it, we were having sex on a regular basis.”

“Do you regret it?”

“No, what I’m trying to say is…” Christopher bit on his lip as he thought about his next sentence. “I don’t regret anything. We’ve had a great time together and you were amazing, like seriously, but I can’t do this anymore. Please don’t get me wrong.”

“Of course not,” Zabdiel smiled. “If that’s want you want, it’s ok with me.”

“So… things are not going to be weird between us or anything? Like we’re gonna start ignoring each other or be awkward when we are face to face? You’re my bestest friend and I wouldn’t want things to be shitty between us.”

Letting out a little laugh, Zabdiel pulled Chris into a hug. “Are you mad? Things can never be weird between us. You know you’re like my brother.”

Chris pulled away and stared at him. “Brother? Seriously? Now you’ve just made things weirder on a whole other level.”

“You know what I mean. What we share is more than just friendship and I’ve got your back, no matter what.”

“You’re the best, you know that?”

“I’m also a good listener,” he grinned. “Wanna tell me what happened with you? And why you have been acting unlike yourself?”

“Uhh… the reason why I acted the way I did is Erick. I love him,” Chris said slowly.

“What?” Although there had been speculations going on about Chris and Erick, Zabdiel could not help but be surprised at the statement; after all, he had never expected to hear that from either of them. “You what?”

“I’m in love with Erick. Fuck! I know what you’re gonna say. He’s dating Joel. I know that but I can’t help it. I never expected things to take that turn between us but all I wanna do is have him close to me and seeing him with Joel, it was driving me crazy. We got closer and closer and I was falling harder for him every day and by the time I realised it, it was too late. There was nothing I could do about it.”

Zabdiel hummed in response. “But he’s dating Joel? Why would he date Joel if you two have been having an affair?”

 _An affair?_ Christopher made a face and swallowed at that word that sounded so offending. Was that what he was having with Erick? Technically, when someone was in a relationship and was having sex with someone else, that was what it was called. Yet, the word sounded so filthy and it made him feel icky all over. Erick was his best friend, his love, and no matter how things started between them or what they turned into, it was never an affair between them. It was simply something as innocent as the need to be together, to see each other, to reach out and touch the other and to hold the other tightly in their arms. It was never lust although sometimes they did go wild while driven by their passion. To Christopher, being with Erick was like sitting on the beach and watching the waves crash against the shore; it was beautiful, satisfying and calming but boy, only he knew how many times that sea did get rough.

“Chris?”

“It happened after. He was dating Joel first.”

“When… I mean… how did that happen?”

“You remember that day when we played a prank on you?”

“Which one? You two always play pranks on everyone. Or at least, used to,” Zabdiel stated.

“That day when we filled Richard boots with shaving foam, stuffed your hat with chocolate and wrapped a slice of pizza in Joel’s bandana?”

“Oh, how can I ever forget that day? Richard had been whining about it for a whole week after that.”

“So, you guys chased us and we hid in the toilet. That’s where we had our first kiss and things started.”

“So, while he was dating Joel, you two were having an aff…”

“Don’t say that word again,” Chris warned as he cut him off.

“Sorry, sorry. Can I ask you a question?”

“Yes.”

“Does ‘close’ mean sex?”

“Kinda but not really. We didn’t have actual sex but we did do things to each other sexually.”

Zabdiel again hummed.

“Stop doing that, you’re making me nervous.”

“Hey, relax,” the blonde said as he placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I’m not here to judge you. I’m here just so you could share your troubles with me and feel better,” he smiled.

“Thank you… did I say that already?”

“You don’t have to thank me. That’s what friends are for. Back to the conversation. You’re in love with Erick? What about him? Does he love you too?”

“Obviously not.”

“Did he tell you that?”

“He’s still with Joel no matter what happened. And… when I had asked him to choose between the two of us, he would have picked me but that did not happen. So…”

Despite being warned not to, Zabdiel hummed. Christopher was in love with Erick? Things had been happening between them? How could he not have seen? Were they secretive to that extent? Or was he oblivious? “Did you tell him… how you feel?”

Christopher let out a tiny laugh that almost sounded like a scoff. “Are you crazy? Things are already a mess between us. The least I want to do is to complicate them even more.”

“But if you don’t tell him, how is he gonna know that you love him? And if he doesn’t know you love him, how’s he gonna know he loves you back.”

This time he really did scoff before running his fingers through his hair. “Don’t you think you sound ridiculous? Erick doesn’t need me to tell him I love him for him to realise he loves me. If he loves me, he should know that by himself, not because I made him think so. And, he doesn’t love me. That’s a fact. I’ve learn that the hard way.”

Shit! Richard; he had to let him know. He had to get out of there. “You know what? I’m gonna go so you can…”

“I knew it. I fucking knew it. Once you’d know the truth, you’d start acting weird with me.”

“What?” Zabdiel let out a little laugh. “Of course not. I told you already. You’re like my brother and I’ll always have your back. I’m leaving to give you some space so that you can think about things clearly and figure them out.”

“There’s nothing to figure out. Erick loves Joel and Joel loves Erick. And I’m gonna leave them alone. I was never in the picture and I never will be,” Chris stated.

“I’m gonna tell you some wise words. Sometimes, things are not really what they seem to be and to find what you’re seeking, you must look beyond what you see.”

“Really? A Lion King reference?”

Zabdiel shrugged; he had spent the previous evening watching all the Lion King movies with Richard and he could not help but add that little quote there. “Think about it. Maybe you’ll realise that giving up is not the best thing to do.”

“It is the right thing because there’s nothing else I can do.”

“That’s your brain talking. Try to listen to your heart,” Zabdiel shrugged as he got to his feet. “I’ll leave you to it.”

He sucked the side of his bottom lip between his teeth as he thought about what he had just heard; Christopher was in love with Erick? They _‘kinda’_ had sex, whatever that meant. For a moment, he could not help but feel bad for them; one because they could not be together, two because if they did get together, Joel would be heartbroken, and three because all that had happened behind Joel’s back and if he got to know about it, he would be heartbroken as well. Mostly, he felt bad because it looked like he was not a good friend; if he had been one, he would have noticed things, just like Richard did. Richard had been right all along and if only he had taken his time to listen to him, things would probably have been different. Zabdiel could already picture the look on Richard’s face when he would tell him. He knocked on the boy’s door and walked inside the moment he answered it.

“Someone’s in a hurry,” Richard commented.

“I have news.”

“Uh huh?”

“Christopher just told me he’s in love with Erick. You were right all along.”

“Excuse me? I didn’t quite hear that last part.”

Zabdiel sighed. “You were right and I should have believed you. He also said they kinda had sex, which means the two people we saw in the pool could have been them.”

“I knew it. Those were Chris’ new shoes that I stole. Haven’t you notice that he never wore them again? I knew they were his because I was with him when he bought them. Talking about those shoes, maybe it’s time I give them back to him,” he said on an excited tone.

“Will you listen to me before getting excited for no reason?” Zabdiel rolled his eyes.

“What? Can’t I be happy for my friend?”

“You can but your happiness is irrelevant here because Chris told me he’s not gonna do anything because Erick doesn’t love him and loves Joel.” Zabdiel shrugged and then narrated the whole story that Chris had said to him to Richard, who only kept making faces while nodding as he listened.

“Shit! Right, Joel’s in the picture too. I totally forgot about him. We need to get him out of the way.”

“Uh hello? Did you forget that Joel is your friend too?” Zabdiel frowned.

“Uh hello? Didn’t you hear what you had just told me or what Chris had told you? Obviously, Chris and Erick are in love with each other. Why else do you think they would be so upset? Because they’re not together.”

“Don’t you think you’re jumping to conclusions too soon? I mean, Erick never said anything about his feelings for Chris.”

“Yeah but you know I’m right, I was since the very beginning. If only you had listened to me…” Richard said slowly as he faked a disappointed face.

Zabdiel almost face-palmed himself; he knew talking to Richard would have been difficult but at times, he really wanted to smack the boy on the head for acting smug. “It wouldn’t have mattered whether I had listened to you or not. This does not concern us.”

“Of course it does. When people are troubled, their friends have to help them and being really good and considerate friends, we’re going to help them out. We have to get Joel out of the picture. For that, I know just what you have to do.”

“You? Why me? Why does it have to be me if you’re the one who wants to help them?”

“Let me see. If you told me what Chris had confided in you because he trusted you and he knew you’d not say a word to anyone else unless he tells you so, I’m guessing it’s because deep down you know we have to do something about it.”

“Yeah, but why me?”

“Uhhh… when I said there’s something going on between Chris and Erick, somebody told me to _‘get it through my thick skull’_ that they were only friends. If I recall proper, it was that tall blonde guy, who’s standing not so far from me and who’s looking at me as if he can’t believe his ears that these words are falling out of my mouth.”

“Why do I feel like you’re never gonna let me forget that one?”

“Because I’m never gonna let you forget,” Richard grinned. “And as a sign of apology, you’re the one who will do something.”

“Fine,” Zabdiel sighed. “What do you want me to do?”

“Nothing much… just try to get Joel away from Erick.”

Zabdiel stared at him. “You want me to make them break up?”

“Exactly and I believe it’s gonna be easy. I’ve seen the way you look at Joel,” Richard said as he walked into the bathroom.

His mouth dropped open as he stared at the door that had just closed; had he heard right or was that something he thought he had heard? The way he looked at Joel? What was that supposed to mean? Creasing his brows, he walked to the bathroom. “What does that mean?” he asked the moment he stepped inside.

“What the fuck?” Richard frowned from the toilet. “Haven’t you ever heard of privacy?”

“What did you mean?”

“Can’t I have my pee-break first? Get out.”

“I need an answer,” Zabdiel insisted.

Ignoring him, Richard straightened his clothes, flushed the toilet and walked to the sink. “And people say I’m annoying, look who’s being a pest now. Oh wait! The one who always calls me annoying is you. Would you look at this irony?”

“Will you stop being a bitch and answer me?”

“I’m not in a rush, man. I have all night.” Shrugging, Richard jumped onto the bed.

“Alright,” Zabdiel sighed. “I’m not gonna ask again. Tell me when you’re ready. We have all night anyways.” He also dropped himself on the bed and turned the TV on.

Richard glanced at him sideways and chewed on the inner side of his cheek; he wanted to irritate Zabdiel but the boy did not look one bit bothered. Actually, he was the one who was starting to get annoyed. “So you wanna know or not?” Zabdiel ignored him and changed the channel. “Zabdiel I’m talking to you, you giant moron.”

“What? Who’s the one who was in no rush? If you want to be a brat, I can be one too.”

“Blah blah blah…”

Zabdiel rolled his eyes at that immaturity but said nothing; he knew if he had commented about it, they would start a never-ending session of bickering and he did not want that because he was anxious to know Richard’s answer. “What did you mean _‘the way I look at Joel’_?”

“Exactly what I said, the way you look at him.”

“Which is the same way as I look at everyone else. What’s the big deal in that?”

“Nah… you may not want to admit anything but I can see that you have a crush on him and I believe it’s a little more than that.”

Zabdiel let out a loud laugh. “Oh my god… do you hear yourself when you speak?”

“Why don’t you cut all the crap about _‘I don’t know what you’re talking about’_ or _‘I don’t like Joel’_ and blah blah blah… Let’s get straight to the point because you know we’ll get there sooner or later. So, let’s skip the wasting time and tell me the truth already. As it is, you know me, I’m gonna get it out of you, whether you like it or not.”

“I have no idea why you’re saying all this because I honestly don’t like Joel the way you’re implying.”

“Ok, let’s admit you’re speaking the truth right now, which you’re most certainly not, why would you look at Joel sometimes and just smile to yourself?”

“Seriously?”

“Nothing can escape my genius eyes.”

“You may have been right about the Chris and Erick thing but that does not mean you’re always right.”

“The first time I noticed something, it was a long time ago. We’ve won our first award and Joel came to hug you backstage and the way you nuzzled in his hair and smiled like that was where you wanted to be. At that time, I simply brushed it off because you both are my friends and you’re both guys. I didn’t think you’d be attracted to each other. I also ignored all the other signs as well. But then after you guys kissed, I could not ignore them anymore because they were not just from you, even Joel was acting different with you.”

“You’re so full of shit.”

“So, you don’t feel anything for Joel?”

“Other than friendly feelings? No.”

“Ok then maybe I was wrong. Now, back to the situation at hand. Sometimes, to eliminate an enemy, you need to get close to them. In this case, you need to get close to Joel.”

“Joel is not an enemy.”

“I know but if we want Chris and Erick to get together, we… no, you need to do something about Joel,” Richard stated.

Zabdiel pinched his bottom lip between his thumb and index as he thought about what Richard had said. Did he want Chris and Erick to get together? Yes, of course he wanted them to be happy. Did he want to play with Joel’s feelings? No, definitely not. Could he cause two people to break up? Maybe he could; after all, he had told Chris he would always have his back. But what if Chris was right and Erick did not love him? What if Joel was in love with Erick? What would they do then?

“Earth to Zabdiel,” Richard snapped his fingers in front of his face to bring him out of his thought.

“I can’t do this to Joel.”

“Why?”

“Because…”

“Because you’re scared thing will be different once you get close to him.”

Zabdiel nodded quietly. “Don’t look at me like this. I just don’t want to ruin things between us.”

“Because? You love him and you don’t want him to push you away.”

“Yes, I mean no. What?”

Richard laughed. “I fucking knew it.”

“Shut up. I don’t wanna hear anything about it.”

“Now I understand why you were sleeping with Chris. You wanted to make Joel jealous.”

“No… Chris and me, things just happened and we never really talked about it. And as for Joel, I love him and it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t love me back or if he’s with someone else. I’m happy that he’s happy. And you can't tell Joel or anyone else.”

Richard opened his mouth to speak but before he could, there was a knock on the door. “Don’t think we’re done with this conversation,” he said and walked to see who was at his door. “Unconditional love, huh?”

“What?” Erick asked when Richard opened the door.

“Nothing…” Richard shook his head.

“You said unconditional love. Did I interrupt something?”

Richard threw an arm around Erick’s shoulder and walked him further into the room. “No, you didn’t interrupt anything. Actually Zabdiel was telling something…”

Zabdiel’s eyes widened as he looked at Richard; was he out of his mind? Why would he tell Erick that? “I wasn’t saying anything.”

“Like I was saying, Zabdiel was telling me about that movie he watched.”

“A movie?” Erick repeated.

“Yeah, there was that guy, who was in love with someone but he did not want to do anything about it because the person was seeing someone else.”

“Let me guess,” Erick interrupted. “He will end up going to the girl because his best friend is going to tell him that he’s never going to know how the girl feels if he did not make his move. Am I right? Because that’s what happens in movies.”

“Unfortunately, this one’s is a little different and that’s not how it ends. The guy ignored his friend because even if he’s not with _the girl_ , he’s happy because she’s happy. Crazy right? But that can only happen in movies because in real life, it’s impossible to love someone like that.”

Zabdiel sighed. “It can happen but you won’t know anything about it because you haven’t had any experience with true love.”

“Oh, and have you?” Richard said challengingly.

“Weren’t you hanging out with Chris?” Zabdiel turned to Erick and asked while ignoring the other boy.

“Hmm, he… he said he had some other plans,” Erick shrugged. “Why? Do you mind me being here?”

“Of course not. Don’t listen to Zabdiel. You’re in my room and I like chatting with you. Let me tell you about that other movie that I watched. There’s this guy who falls in love with his best friend after something accidentally happened between them. The only problem: he’s already dating someone. How do you think it ends?”

“I think he should be with the one he loves. It’s only fair.”

“He’s obviously in love with his best friend and the best friend clearly loves him back.”

“Yeah, I kinda guessed because he would not have fallen in love with his best friend if he was already in love with the one he’s with.”

“So, you’re saying he’s a jerk and is playing with both of them by not dumping the one he’s dating?”

“No… maybe he cares about the other one. Sometimes, things are not as simple as they seem.”

“Fair enough,” Richard nodded. “Good thinking. I wasn’t looking at things from that angle. You hear that Zabdiel? I told you he should be with his best friend but you keep arguing with me.”

“The only reason why I always argue with you is because you like to impose your opinion and you like to make me think like you do.”

“I don’t know what you’re complaining about because I’m always right and you always end up agreeing with me, even if it will take days or months.”

Erick let out a little laugh and Zabdiel turned to look at him. “What’s funny?”

“You two. I mean, I think the only reason you two like to spend so much time together is because you like to prove each other wrong. I’m not saying you dislike each other; I just believe that’s how you guys show your affection.”

“I guess,” Richard smiled. “You wanna hear about that other movie that I watched?”

“Is it a good one?”

“Yeah, I’m sure you’re gonna like it. It’s about that guy, who wanted to do something crazy and he went to date his best friend but then he starts falling for that sexy blonde.”

“Obviously, why not?” Erick rolled his eyes. “That’s what always happen in movies when a blonde is involved.”

“Yeah but blondie loves him too.”

“And what does he do?”

“I didn’t watch the ending. What do you think blondie should do? Get between them or give up?”

“No one should ever give up on love. I mean I wouldn’t.”

“Exactly. Maybe blondie should get that _‘through his thick skull’_ ,” he snickered.

“Blondie knows what he’s doing,” Zabdiel insisted.

“Yeah, that’s why he’s hooking up with other people.”

“So what? Are you jealous?”

“Why would I be jealous? I just think he is being stupid and is giving up too easily.”

“You’re jealous because you wish you could have that much sex too.”

Richard scoffed. “That’s ridiculous.”

Erick stood and raised his arms in the air. “Why are you guys arguing again because of a movie? That’s lame and to say you guys are the adults here.” He shook his head in exasperation. “And why do all your movies involve three people or a best friend? Can’t you watch sweet and romantic movies where two people fall in love and live happily ever after?”

“Yeah but those do not have drama and I like drama.”

“That’s because you’re lonely and clearly lack entertainment. You know what Erick? Don’t ask Richard for movie recommendations because his movies suck.”

“No, you suck… literally.”

Zabdiel tackled Richard on the bed and pinned him down as he tried to smack him. Shaking his head, Erick whispered, _‘adults’_. Instead of sitting there and listening to their constant bickering, he made his way to his room to think about what he would next.

 


	19. The Mind Or The Heart?

Zabdiel let his body slide further into the tub and ran his wet fingers through his hair. It had been three days since he had that talk with Richard and their conversation was all that he could think about, despite not wanting to. For one, he knew he was screwed because those feeling that he had for Joel, he had buried them in the deepest corner of his heart and had always made sure to keep them hidden. Still, he had no idea how Richard had noticed something. What was that guy anyway? How could he always manage to notice things that no one else could? He was certain no one had noticed because otherwise, none of them would have been in the situation that they were in; Erick and Joel would not have been dating, Chris would not have had sex with him and he would not have been in his bathroom and thinking about what Richard had said. Those words were all his brain could replay and the weirdest part was that he could hear Richard’s voice in his head and it was driving him crazy, no matter how true it was. That evening, where they had won their first award, it was one of the most precious memories that he had.

They had received the award and they were all buzzing from the excitement as they had headed backstage when Joel had placed a hand on his shoulder from behind, turned him around and hugged him. Instinctively, Zabdiel had done the same and like Richard had said, he did rub his cheek against Joel’s hair and smiled but that was merely a sign of affection and nothing more. He already was happy but at that moment, his happiness had doubled because Joel was part of it and there was nothing else he could want more. When he had first met Joel, they were not even a band and he had honestly thought that Joel was weird. However, as time had gone by and they had gotten to know each other, Zabdiel had grown closer to Joel and there was that thing about Joel when he would smile that would make Zabdiel’s heart skip a beat. The first time he had realised he was attracted to Joel was that one time when Joel and Erick had been talking and laughing; Zabdiel could not help but keep staring at the boy, the way his face would scrunch up when he would laugh or the way his lips would keep moving from non-stop talking.

He had found himself being drawn to Joel’s lips and an unexplainable desire to kiss them had risen in him. He had even gotten up and walked to Joel but then reality had hit him: he was himself a guy and there was no way Joel would ever be interested in him. Since that day, seeing Joel happy, making Joel happy and being with him as a friend were enough for Zabdiel. His feelings kept growing but he had always kept them hidden and never once had he thought of expressing them or making a move on Joel; that was until Richard had mentioned something about it. Chris and Erick were in love with each other and he could help them get together. What should he do? Let things be as they were or help his friends get together, at the risk of being heartbroken at the end? Part of him was urging him to do it but then his voice of reason was screaming, yelling at him that to think like that was wrong. It was like he was in the middle of a sea of confusion and the more he thought about what he should do or tried to get out of it, the deeper he was sinking.

Maybe he should agree with Richard and help Chris and Erick out. Not that he would be doing it for some selfish motives but he did love Joel and that way, he would also get close to him and if things did not work out, he would know that he did not give up without a try. With that thought in mind, Zabdiel exited the bathroom, got dressed and made his way to Richard’s room. However, once there, he hesitated before knocking as one question popped in his head: was it the right thing to do though? Maybe he should just go back to his room and pretend he had never thought about agreeing with Richard. Or maybe he should just take a nap and let Richard’s voice that was still in his head disappear on its own. Taking a deep breath, he knocked lightly and waited.

“I agree with what you want to do,” he said while walking into the room.

“What?”

“I agree with you. I’m ready to get close to Joel to help Chris and Erick to get together.”

“I knew you’d come around,” Richard grinned; he just loved knowing how much he knew Zabdiel.

“But… but I have a condition.”

“I agree with…”

“Hear me out first,” Zabdiel cut him off. “We stop everything the moment Joel shows any sign of discomfort or that he’s not interested.”

“Done.”

“So,” Zabdiel started then cleared his throat. “What’s the plan? When do we begin?”

“Right now.” Richard walked to his suitcase and pulled out a pair of shoes. “Come on, follow me.”

“What are doing?”

Without answering him, Richard set the shoes in front of Christopher’s door and knocked on it before running off and pulling Zabdiel with him. “I can’t wait to see his face.”

“They are just shoes,” Zabdiel rolled his eyes. “It’s not like he’s gonna be super surprised or excited to see them.”

“Yeah but imagine his face when he would read the note.”

“You left a note?”

“Yes, duh, of course. What would have been the fun of it otherwise? Now, there are more chances of him wondering who had his shoes for so long. He’s gonna squirm in anxiety, wondering who knows his secret and how much does that person know. This is so fun.”

“You’re such a sadist.”

“Whatever. Shhh, he opened the door.”

**Meanwhile**

Erick walked back and forth in the space between the two beds as he tried to think about his next move. So, plan A had been an epic failure but that was okay because there was always plan B; it was true that he had not thought about any yet but he was getting there. As decided previously, he would again have to get Christopher alone somewhere and his idea had to be great and also fool proof. What should he do? Erick brought his thumb to his mouth and bit on the nail as he creased his brows and the little wheels in his head started turning faster. The last time it was easy because they had all been in the elevator when he had announced he was spending time with Chris and since everybody was there, Chris had no choice but to agree. That was the problem; he could not do the same thing again and again because the least he wanted was to look suspicious. He had to get the two of them away from everyone, without anyone, especially Chris, doubting anything. Also, he had to make sure Chris would stay and listen to him, which was the hardest part of the plan but he was determined and he would get there as well.

Then he remembered that one time when Chris had sent everybody to the pool and had sneakily called Erick to his room. It was a time when they had an argument and had not spoken to each other for days but the moment the two of them were alone in the room, everything had fallen into place and all the grudges that they had had against one another had vanished. It was that kind of idea that he needed; one where things would automatically be set right. Erick was tempted to use the same excuse and call everyone to the pool but he restrained himself as he did not want Chris to think he copied him. Again, the same question popped in his head: what should he do? He did not have the answer to that question but all he knew was that he wanted Chris, he wanted to hold Chris tightly in his arms, like he always used to, even before they had gotten intimate, he wanted to kiss Chris and show him how much he loved him, he wanted to touch Chris, he wanted Chris to touch him, like he had done so many times even though it was wrong, and he wanted to let his desire take control of his body and do all the things that he craved for.

He did not know if he sounded pathetic but that was the truth. He had taken an enormous amount of time to realise how much he loved Christopher and he wished he had done that sooner. He had always been close to Chris even before he had started dating Joel and thinking about things, maybe he had been in love with Chris since then because he had always felt happier with him but he was too naïve to figure it out. Naïve, that was probably not even the right word to describe him; he was simply dumb, which was why he had said yes to Joel. Joel, he sighed. All this while he was caught up in the _‘Chris’ part’_ and he had almost forgotten that he had to deal with Joel as well. He still had not figured out how to tell him he was in love with someone, who was not him. Erick dropped himself backward on his bed and ran his fingers through his hair; maybe he should come up with a speech for Joel rather than pacing his room and wasting time. He was about to do that when he remembered his dream and finally concluded that going with Plan B with Chris was better that Plan A with Joel.

Just like that, he was back on square one. He had spent an hour in his room daydreaming and thinking about possibilities but he was still nil in the idea department. Stretching his arms above his head, one of his hands landed on the fret board of his guitar and, without thinking, he pulled it on his stomach; music always was a way for him to clear his head and hopefully after strumming some chords, an awesome idea will magically present itself to him. Erick closed his eyes and hummed along to the tune as he let himself get lost in it but that peaceful moment was short-lived because his phone rang beside him and he had to stop. He instantly smiled when he saw the caller’s name; as if it was really magic because the one who was calling was the one he wanted to talk to.

**Fifteen minutes earlier**

Chris wrapped a towel around his hips and took another one to rub the excess water out of his hair. He looked at his reflection in the mirror and let out a little happy sigh. Since he had talked to Zabdiel, it felt like a burden had been lifted off his chest and he really did feel much better; he wished he had done so months ago instead of doing all the wrong things, like sleeping with Zabdiel. Talking to Zabdiel, pouring out his feeling about Erick to him and putting an end to their _‘unnamed relationship’_ , those had not only made him feel relieved but they had also made him realise that Zabdiel was his best friend and no matter would happen next, Zabdiel would be there to support him. Then he realised he had never really apologised to the boy for _almost_ using him to push Erick away. It was a selfish move and seeing how considerate Zabdiel was, he regretted doing that. Chris picked his phone from the counter to send an apologetic text to Zabdiel when he heard a knock on his door and lifted his head to look in the direction of his room. Tossing his phone on the bed, he opened the door and frowned when his eyes met with an empty hallway.

Realising someone was playing a prank on him, he shook his head and closed the door; however, he stopped midway in his action when something on the floor caught his eyes. His shoes? Were they even his? They looked similar to the ones that he used to own but they could not be his because he had lost them months ago. Or were they really? With a frown, he bent down to pick them and yes, they were the right size. Chris looked to his left then to his right; the hallway looked empty, then who? With a little hesitation, he took them inside and as he was about to set them on the floor when something tucked into one of them caught his attention. A note? Maybe that would answer his question and without wasting a minute, he opened it.

_Remember me? You lost me somewhere by a pool at a different hotel, in a different country._   
_But I’m back and I’m so glad you’ll have me back._   
_Whatever you’re hiding, I know all about it and you can’t even deny it because I’m proof of it._   
_Now that I’m back, there’s no need to hide._   
_Your secret is no longer a secret._

Christopher stared at the piece of paper that was in his hand without blinking; what was that about? A note from his shoes? Any smart person would realise that it was someone who did that but the question was: who was it? Who knew his secret? If someone knew, why was he quiet all this while? Why now? There was only one person who he had told everything to and that person was Zabdiel. Did Zabdiel do this? No, that was not possible. If Zabdiel had his shoes, he would simply have given it back to him when Chris had opened his heart to him. The note clearly asked him to _‘stop hiding things’_ and Zabdiel already knew, so that could not have been him. Besides, Zabdiel was not the kind of person who would play such pranks. Chris sat on the edge of the bed and his eyes widened; Richard? Because Richard was very much capable of doing such thing. Also, there was that one time when he had heard Richard say that he believed something was happening between him and Erick. Could it have been Richard? Had he found proofs to back up his doubts? But what if Chris was completely wrong?

What if instead of finding out who really did this, he was jumping to conclusions too soon? What if it was Joel? What if Joel was doing it because Erick was his boyfriend and tormenting Chris was a good way to have his revenge? Chris shook his head; Joel was not that kind of person. Then his eyes landed on something at the very bottom of the note. It was signed: _D_. D? That really narrowed his guesses and the only person whose name began by a D and that he could think of was: Daysi. Daysi? Chris dropped the message and brought a hand up to cover his mouth. Daysi was right there in the bedroom when he was getting intimate with Erick in the bathroom. Did she know what they did? Even the thought made him feel embarrassed and he did not want to think about what else she knew. He had to let Erick know. He dialled Erick’s number and tapped his foot as he waited for the boy to answer.

“Can you come to my room right now?” he asked before even giving Erick the chance to say hello. “Hurry up, I’m waiting.” Luckily, Erick did not take long as there was a knock on his door within the next minute and Chris pulled Erick inside the moment he opened the door.

“Wow, hi, ok,” Erick said in amusement. When Chris had called him, he knew he had to use the situation to his advantage and tell Chris all about his feelings but he was not expecting to be this enthusiastic.

“Your mom knows.”

“What?”

“Your mom knows about us.”

“I thought you said there was no _‘us’_ ,” Erick stated; as much as he loved hearing that word coming out of Chris’ mouth, he could not help but sass him.

Christopher glared at him. “I’m being serious,” he pointed to the shoes. “Somebody knocked on my door earlier and I found these. They’re mine.”

“I know they’re yours.” He knew, actually everyone knew, how proud Chris was of those shoes; the day he had gotten them, he could not shut up about them.

“She knows.”

“Wait! You said somebody left them. Did you see who it was?”

“No, there was no one there. But there was a note and it was signed ‘D’. Daysi, your mom.”

Erick let out a loud laugh. “Are you crazy? Why would my mom do that? Can I see the note?”

“Here. This is messed up. See, right here.”

“It only says ‘D’, not Daysi. It could be anyone. And, this is not my mom’s handwriting.”

“It is. It has to be her. Plus, she was right there when we were in your bathroom. She could have heard us, I mean, she did hear us. That’s how she knows.”

“Yeah, in my bathroom,” Erick smiled as his mind was drifting to that memory.

Chris snapped his fingers in front of his face. “Erick, focus. Your mom knows about us and you’re daydreaming? Did she mention anything?”

“No, because she doesn’t know. Just because you got your shoes back and it’s signed ‘D’, you can’t assume that my mom knows something. If she knew, she’d have talked to me about it and she would not have waited all these months before sending you these.”

“She knows, she knows.”

Erick groaned. “How can you be so sure?”

“Don’t you remember how I lost them?”

“Yeah, when you had pushed me against a dark corner in the pool and stuffs and stuffs… but when I went back to my room, my mom was fast asleep.”

“Of course,” Christopher shook his head. “Zabdiel and Richard had come there and I didn’t want them to see us.”

 _‘Us’_ , again that word that was making Erick’s heart swell. It was already so hard to keep his eyes on Chris’ face when the boy was only wrapped in a towel and having Chris talk about them kissing, it was making the butterflies in his stomach go wild.

“It has to be Richard. He already was suspicious from the beginning.”

“From the beginning? Why is this the first time I’m hearing about it?” Erick creased his brows.

“Because I didn’t think it was important.”

Erick took a deep breath; he was done letting Chris take all the decisions when it concerned them. He pushed the boy on the mattress and climbed on top of him. “What was not important? Telling me that Richard knew about us? Or us being together?”

Chris looked away. It was already hard to lie to Erick but it was harder when Erick was on top of him. “What are you doing?”

“Taking control, for once. Something that I should have done months ago.” Erick linked his fingers with Chris’ and pinned his hands above his head.

“Erick…” Chris whispered.

 


	20. Turning Things Around

“Erick…” Chris whispered.

“Yes,” Erick whispered back against his lips.

 _‘Fuck’_ , that was the word that died on his lips when Erick closed the gap between them and kissed him. Without second thoughts, Chris kissed him back because he might have pushed Erick away, avoided him, kept his distance and built all kind of barriers between them but in the end, he was just a guy, he had needs and at that moment, his brain had shut down and other parts of his body were taking control of himself. Having Erick’s lips move against his brought back memories, sweet memories that he had so many times tried to forget, and Chris could not help but free one of his hand so as to frame the side of Erick’s face; despite all his efforts, Erick was still the one he loved. Chris slowly opened his eyes when Erick pulled away and he looked at the boy, who was looking back at him. Then Erick licked his lips and Chris’ eyes intently followed his tongue; that tongue had made him feel so many things in the past and talking about feelings, there was that jittery thing going on in his stomach at the moment. He trailed his hand to the back of Erick’s head, buried his fingers into Erick’s hair and pulled the boy down for another kiss.

Erick eagerly kissed him back and all the negative thoughts regarding Christopher or how the boy did not want him started to disappear. Suddenly, it was like a ray of sunshine had peeked through the dark clouds that were overshadowing his life. Chris was kissing him, he was genuinely kissing him, and words were not enough to describe how much Erick had missed the feel of Chris’ lips against him or how his fingers felt on his skin. Although it had not been that long since he had kissed Chris, but that time it was mostly with a mixture of alcohol and Chris had been too drunk to remember and right now, it was just like it used to be between them, before everything went wrong. Pulling back a little, Erick looked at Chris’ face; the boy’s eyes were closed and his cheeks were flushes, in short, it was a picture of perfection. Erick licked his lips and kissed Chris again as he pressed his palm flat against his chest, to feel his heartbeat. Slowly, his hand trailed lower and as gently as he could, he opened the towel that was around Christopher’s hips because the least he wanted was to be pushed away again.

However, that did not happen as Chris hissed when Erick’s hand moved lower and he took that as a good sign to keep going. That was not quite the scenario that Erick had in mind when he had been trying to come up with a plan for their next confrontation but he was not going to deny that he had missed having Chris naked against him and if that were happening, he was going to do nothing to prevent it. Chris let out a little whimper against Erick’s lips and Erick wanted to pull away to look at him but kissing him was good as looking at his face and Erick licked Chris’ lips while his hand stroked his penis. Eventually, he moved away and looked at Chris before pushing a strand of hair out of the boy’s eyes. Chris was looking right back at him and like he had seen so many times before, Christopher’s eyes were dark and filled with desire. Without breaking the eye contact, Erick moved his hand back to down to Chris’ chest and with the way the boy was looking at him and feeling the heat coming from his skin, Erick could not help it as his heart picked up its pace.

Chris again pulled Erick down for another kiss but after leaving a few pecks on his lips, Erick let out a little laugh before moving to kiss his neck instead. Erick’s mouth sucking his neck, Erick’s teeth grazing his skin and Erick’s finger’s lightly moving up and down his chest; those were all things that he had longed for and things that he had thought he would never go through again in his life. He closed his eyes and folded an arm under his head when Erick shifted and directed his mouth to his hips. Chris laced his fingers through Erick’s hair and gasped as Erick took his erection into his mouth. All those months he had been strong and had held his resolve about moving out of Erick’s life but Erick only had to kiss him once and all his efforts had been reduced to pieces; the truth was that he had not stopped loving or wanting Erick, even if he had convinced himself that he had moved on. Biting on his lip, he slightly lifted his head to look at Erick. He did not know how long Erick’s mouth had been around him or his fingers had been teasing his balls, but he wished that moment would never end.

It was only them, on their own, in a bubble filled with their passion; there was nothing that he could want more than that. On second thoughts, there was something; he wanted more than just sex, he wanted Erick to love him, he wanted Erick to belong to him, he wanted to be able to hold Erick close whenever he wanted, he wanted to kiss him to his heart’s content and he wanted to tell everyone that Erick was his. Chris thrusted his hips upwards, curled his fingers under his head and let out a low grunt. He still agreed to his initial verdict that Erick was really good at giving blowjobs, if he was honest, Erick was even better than Zabdiel. Then Erick had placed a kiss to his cheek and Chris only smiled at that before guiding Erick’s lips to his. The hand that he had in Erick’s hair trailed down between their bodies and he sneaked it into the boy’s sweatpants. Judging by the moan that escaped Erick’s lips, Chris could tell that he had not been expecting anything such and he took advantage of the fact that Erick’s lips were parted to slip his tongue past them, again taking Erick by surprise, while his hand caressed his penis.

They were caught in that moment when they thought they had heard a knock and both Chris and Erick turned their heads to the side to look in the general direction of the door. Thinking it was his imagination, Erick leaned forward to kiss Chris again but Chris propped himself on his elbows, knocking him in the head, when a louder knock was heard.

“Ow, that hurts,” Erick complained as he rubbed his forehead.

“You need to leave.”

Before he knew it, Chris had pushed him off and was already off the bed. “What?”

“Shit, you can’t leave. Someone’s at the door.”

“Maybe it’s the cleaning lady,” Erick shrugged and offered Chris a hand. “Come back, I’m missing you already.”

“Housekeeping? At this time?” Christopher grabbed Erick’s hand and pulled him to his feet when another knock was heard. “You have to hide… somewhere,” he said as he looked around. “The bathroom, quick.” Walking to the door, Chris glanced in the direction of the bathroom, to check if the coast was clear, adjusted his towel around his hips and then opened the door. “Richard? What are you doing here?”

“Good to see you too, buddy.”

“No, I mean yeah… huh…”

“Where were you? You know since when I’m knocking? I almost thought you went out.”

“I was… taking a shower,” he said when he remembered he was wrapped in a towel.

Richard nodded. “Can I come in? Did I disturb anything? Because I came to hang out but if you’re busy doing other things, I can go back to my room.”

“No, no, not at all. Come in,” Chris smiled; if he was right and Richard had sent the shoes, then sending him back to his room would only cause more questions to arise in the boy’s head. “Not busy at all. I was actually thinking about what I could do before falling asleep.”

“Cool.” Richard walked into the room and slyly let his eyes scan the surrounding; the bed was a mess, there was a pillow on the floor, Chris’ phone was also on the floor but there was no sign of Erick. Since Chris had answered his door to get the shoes and his note, Richard and Zabdiel had been keeping an eye on his door. The minutes had seemed never-ending, especially with Zabdiel complaining after every ten seconds, and he was going to see what was happening when after seventeen minutes of inactivity, Erick had walked to Chris’ door. Five seconds later, Erick was pulled inside and twenty-two minutes later he had not come out. His curiosity had gotten the best of him and he had walked to Chris’ room while ignoring Zabdiel’s protests. Looking at the state of the room, it was not hard to guess what had happened in there. What was surprising was that Chris had taken the trouble to answer the door. Why would he do that? And where was Erick? Richard knew for a fact that he was still in there because he had not left sight of that door since Erick had gone in. He had to be in the bathroom.

“Do you mind if I wear some clothes first?”

“No, no, go ahead,” Richard nodded and dropped himself on the couch. He could not help but raise an eyebrow when Chris made his way to the bathroom; he was right.

“Who was it?” Erick asked when Chris closed the door.

“Shhh, not so loud,” Chris warned. “He’s still here.”

“Who?” Erick frowned.

“Who else? Richard. Fuck, I look like a wreck,” he stated as he looked at his reflection in the mirror; his face was flushed and his hair was sticking out in all directions. How could he have forgotten to fix his hair? Fixing his hair was something that he did more than fifty times a day, although fifty was an understatement, then how? “I’m sure he knows something that’s why he’s here to hang out.”

“What? Get him out of here. I don’t want to spend the night in your bathroom.”

“It doesn’t look like you have much of a choice.”

Erick scowled and pinched him in the ribs continuously. “This is all your fault. Why did you have to push me in the bathroom? Couldn’t I have been in your room to hang out with you, like Richard is? Am I not your friend? What was the need for this? Huh? Huh? Now I’m stuck here.”

“Sorry,” he whined as he tried to grab Erick’s hand. “Stop, you’re hurting me. I’ll get him out, ok? Just give me a few minutes.”

“Five, I’m counting.”

“What? You’re just being childish.”

“And you’re wasting time. Tick-tock tick-tock.”

“What if I can’t get him out in five minute?”

“I’ll just come out and then you can explain what I was doing in your bathroom while you were wrapped in a towel,” Erick wriggled his eyebrows.

“Keep your voice down. Richard is right here, he’ll hear you,” Chris warned.

Erick shifted closer to the boy, who was pulling a tank top on; even when he was worried about getting caught, Chris was still bossy and Erick had noticed that on a few occasions. He bit his lips as an idea popped in his head. By this time, he had realised that somewhere deep down, Chris still had a soft spot for him and if he would let go of his boundaries, he would never deny Erick anything. “How about you make me shut up? You’re so good at it.”

Closing his eyes, Chris took a deep breath to remain composed. He then pointed to the tent in Erick’s sweatpants. “Why don’t you take care of this instead?”

“What if I don’t?” he blew into the other boy’s ear as he trailed his index down the side of his face. “Will you?”

“Stop…”

“Maybe I won’t… maybe you should do it. As it is, judging by the sounds that you were making, I believe I gave you a really damn good blowjob. You should give me one too… you know, to return the favour?”

“What?” Chris stared at him.

“I think I was clear enough. I want you to give me a blowjob,” he whispered in Chris’ ear before placing his hands on the other boy’s hips and pressed their bodies together.

“Erick, stop…”

“You didn’t want it to stop before, why do you want me to stop now?”

“I’ll do anything you want, just not now.”

“Anything I want?”

“Yes, let go of me.”

“I’m not even holding you anymore,” Erick smiled.

That was when Chris realised that Erick’s hands were no longer on him and he took a couple backward of steps. “Ok, I’m gonna go and deal with Richard.”

“Five minutes or I’m out.”

“Fine, I’ll get him out in five minutes,” Chris sighed as he walked back into the room; he had said it but how would he do that? “Hey, I’m back.”

“Finally… I was beginning to think you fainted in there or something.”

“Haha. You seriously need to do something about your pitiful sense of humour.”

Richard rolled his eyes at that and again looked at the bed. “What happened in here? Why is it so messy?”

Chris also looked in the same direction and noticed how messy they had left the bed. “Huh... I was sleeping?”

“Sleeping? What am I an idiot?”

“If you say so.”

“Well I’m not. A bed can’t get that messy from one person sleeping on it unless that one person is super crazy to throw everything around.”

“Like I said, I was sleeping and then I woke up and… I realised I… huh… was missing an earring. So, the bed got messed up while I was looking for it. No big deal.”

Richard hummed; Chris was doing a good job at concealing the truth but he was determined and he would get it out of him. “Where’s Erick?”

“Why would I know where Erick is? He’s probably in his room, sleeping.”

“I was just asking because you guys always like to spend time together, that’s all. No need to get aggressive. Where’s Zabdiel?”

“In his room, maybe? I don’t keep track of everybody’s activity.”

“But aren’t you guys dating?”

Chris laughed. “Me and Zabdiel? Dating? Who told you that?”

“I just thought you were because you two are always humping each other.”

“Humping?”

“Yeah, you know, sex, two people fucking each other.”

“I know what it means.” Chris grabbed the pillow that was on the floor and hit Richard on the head a few times. “And that’s called being aggressive.”

“No, this is called play-fighting.”

Chris rolled his eyes, took a seat next to Richard and he did not fail to notice that the boy was slyly looking at the shoes and he had done that a couple of times already. He had the impression Richard wanted to ask about them but was restraining himself because he did not want Chris to know that he knew about them and Chris wanted to laugh at that because he knew and he did not want Richard to know that he knew too. Besides, if Richard was not going to mention them, neither was he. Chris glanced at the clock and, realising nine minutes had passed, he only smiled as he shook his head; he knew Erick was only being a big-mouth and he would not have the guts to exit the bathroom, like he had said he would.

“Hey, you wanna go somewhere?”

“Where?”

“Anywhere…”

“Why? Because you’re hiding something and you don’t want me to be here?”

“Of course not,” Chris laughed. “I just thought we could because we haven’t gone out just the two of us at night in a while. But if you want to stay in, that’s fine.”

“Ok, let’s go.”

**Five days later**

“Welcome to my new apartment, guys. I know it’s not a big house-warming party or whatever but I just wanted a little get-together with you guys. So, I’ve planned things that we could do. I’ve got a brand new set of Jenga, I’ve got Monopoly, there’s cards and food and drink and music. I hope you guys have a fun night,” Joel smiled brightly.

“Did you prepare that speech?” Richard laughed.

“Do you always have to be a prick? Can’t you shut up for once?” Zabdiel commented.

“What are you getting annoyed for?”

“Nothing…”

“Hmmm…” Richard hummed loudly.

Everybody turned to look at him at that.

“What?” Chris asked.

“Nothing, I was just thinking about what we could do first,” he shrugged.

“Jenga,” Erick said excitedly as he opened the box and stacked the blocks in the middle of the coffee table.

“I say we should play Monopoly,” Chris said instead.

“How about we play something that is less child-like and something that is more adult-like, like ‘Truth or dare’ or something,” Richard proposed.

“Yes,” Zabdiel nodded in agreement.

“But Jenga… I’ve already stacked them.”

“Not anymore,” Chris snickered as he hit the stack and caused the blocks to fall.

“Jerk,” Erick muttered under his breath and slyly grabbed the pillow that was behind him before throwing it at Chris’ face.

“Ok guys. Erick, truth or dare?” Zabdiel questioned.

“Hmm… I’ll pick…” Before he could answer, the lights went off. “What? What’s this?”

“That’s unusual,” Joel stated and flicked the switch on and off a couple of times.

“It hasn’t even been a week since you moved here. How can you know it’s unusual?”

“I’m just saying, I mean… I’m gonna get some candles.”

“Yes, please,” Erick urged.

“Somebody’s scared,” Richard whispered and stuck his index in Erick’s ear, only ending up laughing when Erick shouted.

“I’m gonna do it,” Zabdiel whispered.

“What? Do what?” he turned in Zabdiel’s direction, even though the boy could not see him in the dark.

“What I told you… about Joel.”

“You’re gonna make a move on Joel? When?”

“Right now?”

“What’s the plan?”

“There’s no plan. I just have twenty minutes before the lights come back on.”

“Wait! You did this?”

“Technically, no. Someone else did, I only asked and paid. You just need to handle these two.”

“No biggie. Go, you’re wasting time.”

Zabdiel walked to the corridor where Joel was rummaging through the drawers and shook his head; the drawer was not even a big one but Joel kept searching and searching as if the candles would magically appear. As quietly as he could, he made his way to the other boy and stood right behind him.

Joel sucked in a breath when he felt someone behind him and slowly turned around before letting out a sigh. “Zabdiel, you scared me. Yeah, flashlight,” he motioned to Zabdiel’s phone. “Why didn’t I think of it?”

Zabdiel did not say anything; he only set his hands on the cabinet on either sides of Joel, trapping him.

“What are you doing?” Joel whispered, his breathing already uneven.

Again no answer but Zabdiel took a step forward, inching closer to the other boy. Staring intently into his eyes, Zabdiel licked his lips, tilted his head to the side and closed the gap between them. When their lips met, Joel gasped but he did not pull away and, considering that as a positive response, Zabdiel only deepened the kiss. He could not explain the waves of emotions that went through him; it was true that he had kissed Joel once before but that was nothing like what was happening. Zabdiel pulled back and, without warning, spun them around so that Joel’s back was pressed against the wall. He looked at Joel’s face as he let the back of his fingers graze his jaw, from his chin to his ear and then down the side of his neck. Joel’s eyes were still closed but Zabdiel could tell that he was enjoying it and his mouth followed the same path that his fingers did. As Joel tilted his head to the side, Zabdiel lightly bit on his skin, not hard enough to leave a mark but enough to cause Joel to bite on his lips to avoid making a sound. He knew he had only intended to kiss Joel but those little things seemed necessary to cause a spark in Joel, a spark that would make him want more.

Slowly, he trailed his hands down Joel’s sides and lifted the boy off his feet before connecting their lips again. Kissing Joel was something that he could only fantasize about and now that it was really happening, it felt so much better than he had imagined. Actually feeling Joel’s soft and plump lips against his own was like one of the best thing that he had ever experienced. Joel had wrapped his arms around his neck and his legs around his hips while Zabdiel swiped his tongue across his lips to deepen the kiss. He wanted, was tempted, to do more than that but only ended up holding back; he did not want to freak Joel out so that the boy would avoid him for the rest of their lives. Besides, if Richard was right and he had seen something in Joel’s eyes for him, then there would be more instances where he would be able to let go of all limits and do everything that his heart desired. Zabdiel pulled back, set Joel back on his feet and, without saying a word, he went to join the others.

“So, what happened?” Richard asked the moment Zabdiel had dropped himself on his previously occupied seat.

“Nothing.”

“I thought you said you’ll make your move tonight. Now what?”

“We wait. We wait for things to sink in and for Joel to realise what had just happened.”

“You just said nothing happened.”

“Just wait and watch, buddy. I’ve got this.”

“I wanna know what happened.”

“You know what? Sometimes it’s best to not be curious and let things unravel on their own. You’d be surprised, you know?”

“But…”

“Shush, the light’s back on.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know your thoughts about it :)


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